No def a good thing! They cant just think you can manipulate us when they need us around and that...its not fair! Like when i was talking to my ex and he would be all upset and that...as soon as i did the same he switched saying its the right thing etc...when we are all sad etc to them it just makes them believe even more that we are waiting. So no more...im going to send him his stuff in the post...with not a word or a note in there. Its his birthday on the 26th im tempted to ignore that as well if him honest....even though ive been sure i would just txt saying 'happy birthday'
metal, take my advice dont send a happy birthday text, i did it for my x and im sorry i did, it took another month before i was able to do no contact again lol its not even worth it, dont wish him well when he hasnt been treating you good
noooooooooooooooo really!? You heard from him?! Blimey!! What you going to do? When does he go away?! I hope your doing ok after hearng from him. Your right as well....screw him why should i txt him on his birthday...he forgot mine and we were together at the time!!!
mabey he wont be going away later this week like he was supposed to and text me hopping i would engage him in conversation and then he would tell me he ended up not going.... other wise i dont see why he would contact me a few days before he goes to upset me
I dont know....i wish i did. We have spent a long time debating both of our ex's actions over the past few weeks. Did you reply? Just becareful hes not doing it so he can make sure that your not going to keep waiting on him...like they were doing a few weeks ago. If he wanted to say he didnt go....he prob would of just said that! Maybe he wants to make sure your still waiting. I know this must be hard for you....sorry!
well i didnt answer him, i dont want to set myself back i feel im starting to move on though i miss him and stuff i feel pretty good, today little annoyed, just think his text was impersonal. I felt happy to see that he was thinking of me, it must have broke his will down alittle to give in and send me a text... i was thinking that mabey he doesnt wanna come out and say that hes not going becuase then he will think he did it cause thats what i want, i think maybe he wanted to start a converstion so that way i woudl ask or he would everntally tell me that he decided not to go bcuase he coudlnt afford it, or that it was cancled, i dont think he would ever say hes not going becuase of me. but i dont wanna take the risk of talking to him and then he tells me he is going cause ill just get more pissed off and worried, i just worry about his well being when he is with them.he is not very emotoinal type and not good with his emotions so i dont expect that he would send somting that says i miss you or who knows. in the begining of our relationship he was, but in general he not emotinal with anyone not even his family..
I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. When someone is deeply addicted to drugs nothing matters over the drug. Not their children, not their mortgage, not visits to jail, and not their significant other. You owe it to yourself to distance yourself from him for good until he is ready to get help. You and no one else will be able to convince him that he needs help until he is ready. Everyone's rock bottom is different, you don't necessarily have to get into a car wreck or lose your house to seek help, but you do have to realize that the life you are leading isn't one you want to lead anymore.
He will not be available to you until this happens. I promise you this. I know it hurts you to know that they are choosing a drug or drink over you but it is not them thinking, it is the drug running their life. He does not have a choice in the matter right now, and will not until he gets control over it. I know it is so hard to understand for a non-addict but it is how it is.
You can try attending Alanon or counseling to help you understand this and cope with it. It will help you.
Good luck hun, I have put my family through the same thing and I know how much I have hurt them in the process. I hope that he sees the same thing someday when he is ready.
rick thanks for that! i have a few questions for you, do you think he is really doing it? is it normal to lie to people about it, cause i start questiong myself to and wonder if he is really honest and im just making it up.. but i dont see why he would be going out with addicts, and stuff, he said im just trying to control him from seeing his freinds and that becuase he is with them doesnt mean he does it... but if u read alot of my other postings above u see alot of the reasons why i think it..
I think you did the right thing not writing back to him. Your better off making sure you dont get hurt and protecting youself now. You could be right...he may not be going but i cant see what he would loose by just saying...im not going! I mean...hes already managed to push you away and you prob cant get any further away then you are now. I just dont think you should put yourself in a postion to be manipulated. I would be happy if my ex would txt me so i understand that but i would struggle with replying unless it was really begging me back and he was giving up all the drugs...or at least trying. You have been doing really well...look how different our posts our now from what they were when we first spoke. Just do what feels right, whats best for you...and right now that prob is ignoring the txt. Again though im sorry hun!!
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", i havent answered what do you think i should do??
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