[frustrated_one]

Our pastor reminds us of this routinely.

I highly recommend the book Five Love Languages. The author lays out the phases of love really nicely - my husband found it "right on" and we sent it to a friend of his who was going thru his second divorce.

Being "In Love" with our spouse is the first "phase" of love, if you will, but it is not love itself. It doesn't last but should develop into a deeper, mature bond. The author explains how when those feelings fade (I think between 3-7 years) that's when people often have problems.

You have gone thru a lot in the last few years. Many changes which make it hard to tend to the work of marriage. Often what we are doing for our relationship isn't what our spouses needs - it's what we need. So we get frustrated. That's why I think the Love Languages book is so cool, it helps you figure out what you/your spouses love languages are.

Yesterday someone on the boards recommended "His Needs Her Needs" to me. I've ordered it and am looking forward to reading it. Apparently the author has taken a lot of the concepts from the 5 Love Languages book. The author says he helps people fall back in love with their spouses - even when it seems impossible!

There's hope.