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Your post reads as a justification for your current behavior. I'm sorry, but in most of our minds, there exists no justification for any type of affair, no matter what the circumstances of the relationship with your SO.
Look at it in this context, if your BF was doing what you are, with another woman, how would you feel about that?
Have you sat down with your BF and outlined your concerns about your feelings and where your relationship is headed? How can he work to fix things, if he doesn't know what's broke?
With that being said, IMO there's only one way to find out who's your "true love".
1. Break off contact with the OM and end the affair.
2. Be honest with your BF and admit to him what's been going on
3. Work with your BF to attempt to regain what's been lost
Give it sometime, commit to fixing this, don't just go through the motions. If after awhile if it just isn't working, then maybe it is time to move on. If you find your BF isn't the one for you, then both of you deserve to find someone who will give you the love you deserve.
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Go Heavy or go home!
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