Oops. Enough red flags for me now. Next!
(dating is a numbers game, eventually you'll score big time). Erica, why's this thread not in the dating section?
I hate dating. It's not fun for me. I don't like letting guys down, or having to tell them that i'm not interested. It sucks!!
And i'm not sure why I didn't post this in the dating section. I think I was rushing when I wrote it so I wasn't paying much attention.
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Ok just as an update... this guy is so incredibly insecure and needy, it's not even funny. I haven't met someone that's so extreme like this in a very, very long time.
Basically, he'll send me up to 10 texts a day, and when I don't respond (which 99% of the time, I don't) he will call my cell phone a few times.
His texts are "I hope I didn't do anything to mess this up already" (what's this btw??) "I know i'm not a good looking guy, but i'm at least worth one date" "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you"
I feel bad because he's a nice guy, but it's just entirely too much for me.
I was telling a girl at work about him yesterday, saying how he is extremely needy and insecure, and she goes "I like that sort of thing." I started laughing and when I saw that she wasn't laughing back, I asked her if she was serious. She was!
Ummmm... !!!???!?!? What! How can someone find that sort of thing attractive!?
Ummmm... !!!???!?!? What! How can someone find that sort of thing attractive!?
Because we are all unique individuals. Like you said, he is different than you and you feel those differences are incompatible. Thank him for his time and interest and move on.
Because we are all unique individuals. Like you said, he is different than you and you feel those differences are incompatible. Thank him for his time and interest and move on.
And you could offer to introduce him to the girl at work that likes that kinda thing
Get out quick. 10 texts in a day?! Jeez, did the guy ever hear the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder? Someone who does that gets the axe with me, it's took insecure and needy, clingy, some people like that, others don't. You don't, so I would let him down gently (say the distance doesn't work for you or something) but he's a great guy etc
Get out quick. 10 texts in a day?! Jeez, did the guy ever hear the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder? Someone who does that gets the axe with me, it's took insecure and needy, clingy, some people like that, others don't. You don't, so I would let him down gently (say the distance doesn't work for you or something) but he's a great guy etc
Totally agree!!
I told him today that I didn't think we were compatible and that I appreciated his interest in me... but it just wasn't going to work. (Thanks to carhill for the advice )
I recieved 7 text messages after that. The first few were arguing the fact. The next few were literally begging me to reconsider.
This sort of thing really makes me wonder how people turn out this way. He is a 32 year old man. And he is acting this way. I just don't get it.
I feel terrible. I really do. He is such a nice guy, but his intensity is overwhelming. It's a massive turn off for me.
Last edited by EricaH329; 8th November 2009 at 5:04 AM..
It's a shame even when you told him that it wasn't working for you, he still did the thing that made you run. Silly men.
I wonder if its because he thinks its what women want, but if he continues to do this, he's gonna be single for a long time. It's one thing sending a couple of texts in a day to check if you recieved it, entirely another to send 10.
He should check into counselling, he's too needy, perhaps he's insecure.
Good on you, I would run for the hills and keep running from a guy like that. I'm sure he's lovely, but don't feel bad about it, you can't date a guy who does something which is a red flag for you, it's about getting what you want from it, finding someone on your level.
Your phone not receiving texts and then all of a sudden getting 4 texts is not a bad thing, needy or being crazy. Just miscommunication.
When I finally recieved those texts, I was able to see what time they were sent. They were all within an hour. I find that a little needy, don't you? I mean, I literally talked to this guy for maybe 15 minutes the night I met him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerbear
The good morning text on the other hand is strange, it is not like he stayed the night, left, and then send the text.
The dating references is just odd and needy on his part.
I still suggest carhill's idea of thanking him for the interests but you are not interested. Delete his texts and move on.
I've already deleted his texts. I began doing that after I realized he wasn't going to leave me alone about why I don't think we are compatible.
Good news though, no 'good morning' text today! First day since i've met him that I haven't recieved one! I'm thinking that's a good sign!
From now on, when I meet a guy, i'm interviewing him before I give or recieve any phone numbers!
It's a shame even when you told him that it wasn't working for you, he still did the thing that made you run. Silly men.
I wonder if its because he thinks its what women want, but if he continues to do this, he's gonna be single for a long time. It's one thing sending a couple of texts in a day to check if you recieved it, entirely another to send 10.
He should check into counselling, he's too needy, perhaps he's insecure.
Good on you, I would run for the hills and keep running from a guy like that. I'm sure he's lovely, but don't feel bad about it, you can't date a guy who does something which is a red flag for you, it's about getting what you want from it, finding someone on your level.
I've wondered those same things myself. Whether he has always treated girls like that, or if he's just inexperienced. I know for a fact that he's very insecure, the majority of the text messages had at least one reference to how he thinks he isn't good looking.
When he asked me why I thought that we were incompatible, I told him that I like to have my space, and considering the 10 text messages I recieved the day before yesterday (without reply) was telling me that he was on a different page than I was.
You know what he said? "I like my space too! I just wasn't hearing anything from you, so I wanted to know what was going on." That's just as worse! If, say, i'm out one day and I don't immediatly respond to his messages, i'm going to get a full inbox by the time i'm able to even look at my phone again. Too much!
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookie
The "good morning" text after you hadn't replied to 3 the night before would creep me out....
I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt at first, but looking back at it now, it's very creepy.
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