[girl18]

today i broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year (well technically we've been off and on the past 2 years). i just feel like he is way more into me than i am into him. i feel lke im more in this relationship for him,than myself, and im staying just because he wants to be with me and marry me. i used to want to marry him in the very beginning, but after a while i realized things. he is 29 and still lives at home, he has no intention of moving out. his parents are divorced and his mom makes him feel guilty if he talks about leaving. he does not save any money and is very irresponsible with money. he recently gained a ton of weight in a short amount of time, doesnt take care of himself. we dont have sex anymore either...i am the total opposite. i may live at home (im 24) but i have a good job, save my money, and want a guy with his s*** together. does that make me a bad person? i know this guy would walk on water for me and has been there for me through everything. he has always felt positively about our relationship and said we can make it through anything. i feel so guilty about what i am doing to him but after i told him how i feel, its like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. what if i never find a man that is there for me like he is and loves me this much? what if im alone forever??? part of me wants to start dating again but i dont want to get hurt and feel like there are a lot of bad guys out there. i know i am a pretty and intelligent girl (i get hit on quite often, not to brag of anything) but i guess i dont have a lot of self esteem.....anyone else feel this way?