[Cora]

I want to start getting out more but I'm afraid. I think I would enjoy getting back into church and my parents have been trying to talk me into going back to their church...a church I have not been to since I was a child. I'm afraid of seeing people I know. People I have not seen since high school. I am ashamed really. I guess I'm so afraid of them seeing me again and saying GAWD! What happened to you? I'm not very attractive at all and I'm still unemployed and I'm just afraid of what they might think of me.

I want to get out and start meeting people. I have no friends really and sometimes I just feel so alone. The problem is I'm sooo shy. I'm actually afraid of being out in public and around people. My anxiety shoots through the roof and I'm just not comfortable at all! I look at others all the time and are like wow I wish I could be that beautiful or that outgoing etc.. They seem to have so many friends and are happy. I just feel lonely and would give anything just to have a few girlfriends I could talk to every now and then. My problem is making them. I'm too afraid to go out and meet new people! I truly believe if I could just be attractive, outgoing, intelligent, confident and maybe a bit funny I could make some friends and not have a problem. It just sucks and I feel like I'm constantly stuck! Nothing ever changes and I always feel like I'm stuck in the same old rut!

I get nervous just from being around a crowd of people. I try to avoid conversation with people at all costs! It makes me very uncomfortable just going to the store and having the cashier trying to make conversation with me. I just quickly look away, act like I'm in a hurry and get the hell out of there as quickly as I can! It's quite embarrassing actually! I want to change and I want to meet people and make friends but I just don't know how or where to start. It gets old being lonely and really having no one to talk to. I'd give anything to have a close friend....like a sister, someone I could share everything with, cry to, laugh with etc.. I just don't make friends easily. I'm sure I appear very awkward and stuck up to most people but I'm not really! Okay, maybe awkward but I'm seriously a nice person once you get to know me. Help! Any advice?