[Matilda]

Hi,

My husband and I have been married about 10 years and we have kids. We've had our ups and downs sexually, but lately we have been on the up side. My libido is lower than his, and so I have never been bothered by the thought that he masturbates, and sometimes uses porn to help with that. He has a few old porn videos that he keeps hidden, and has always been discreet about it.

However, in the past couple months, I have noticed that he has been looking at internet porn sites. Again, not really a problem, although, I wish he'd be more discreet about it, since we only have one computer, which is in a family area, and the kids and their friends also use it. I found out he was looking at the porn, when I clicked on history to look for a site I had been on, and saw the porn sites on there. The kids could just as easily have seen it. (BTW, I know it is not the kids doing this.) So, anyway, I didn't say anything to him about it, but the next morning I would just clean out the history, and eventually he caught on and cleans it out himself. I kept checking the computer files and could not find where he downloaded anything to our computer.

Okay, this week I found 4 files he had downloaded over the weekend, which in itself makes me mad, because of the kids. The files were fairly easy to find, and were in a file where the kids had some stuff too. Why does he have to be so stupid? He shouldn't download them in the 1st place, because of the kids, but at least he could do a better job of hiding it. (I would just die if one of the kids saw this stuff, not too mention if one of their friends saw it.)

The other problem is, that a couple of the things he downloaded, show a sexual practice that grosses me out, and I'm pretty horrified that he likes it enough to download 2 videos of it. The act itself disgusts me, plus the audio is very degrading to women. It's really freaking me out that he likes that stuff. I am not a prude either.

So, I am going to talk to him about not having porn on the computer because of the kids. That to me is a no brainer, and I really shouldn't even have to tell him that, but I guess I do. But what do I say about the gross stuff? My husband is a great guy, great Dad, always considerate, and I know he loves me and I love him. But, I just don't know what to do about this? I don't want to make him feel that I think he is gross, but I'm weirded out about having sex with him now.

Ideas?