[lumbee]

IM new to this, just looking for advice, please forgive me if this is too long, im a 31yr old married man.My wife is 33 weve been married for 11yrs now, when we were dating she was a virgin (or so she says). Everything was going fine we got engaged and she ended up pregnant b4 we were married. That was fine with me since we were geting married .

Then the problems started on our wedding night(she didnt want to have sex)I delt with it no big deal, she was probably tired being pregnant and all, then as time went on, she didnt want it at all, saying she was tired all the time .OF COURSE WE HAD SEX NOW AND THEN, BUT her bending over and saying hurry up doesnt do it for me.A few yrs weny by and she got pregnant again and as always her excuse was im tired or i just had a baby or something like that, few more yrs went by she gave me one reason after the other, you dont take me out enough or do anything with me, so i said ok lets change that and i did, taking her out goin on trips etc.

But nothing changed as far as her sex drive, she said she had no desire or drive for it at all, and no fantasies. so i bought video tapes and books for US to try and work on it, but alas no change,i asked her if she wanted to masturbate and discover want she liked,SHE SAID SHED NEVER DO THAT AND NEVER HAD DONE IT AND WAS DISGUSTED BY THAT

OK a cople more yrs went by and i got out of the military and moved back home, I was to the point of accepting that there are ppl like that out there and i would deal with her low sex drive, i loved her so i could deal with it . I HAD SOME ADULT MOVIES(HAD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF) she gave me a hard time about having them in the house, i dont know why because they were stored properly away from the kids

I EVEN TRIED TO GET HER TO WATCH THEM WITH ME EVERY NOW AND THEN BUT SHE WOULDNT , So one day i noticed the movies had been moved slightly, i put it in and it was not on the scene it was when i was watchging it, so i started to pay atten to them more, and sure enough they had been watched almost everyday, when i asked her of it she denied, denied , denied, then finally confessed she was wacthing them and masturbating( the whole time we had been married) i said ok what am i doing wrong i can work on it, hey im not proud ill do what you want me to, we worked on it , she shared a fantasy that wanted to lick another womans breast)it seemed better for a week or two then back to the same ol same ol

It was to the point shed turn me down for sex and then masturbate when i left for work or when i was gone she told me"TO GET OVER IT"it made me feel hurt and crushed, im open minded didnt mind if she masturbated in front of me but she wouldnt, around this time she meet a friend at work ans the first thing she said about this girl was that she was bi and the things she had done, i didnt suspect anything then

but the girl made passes at ny wife at a party, when i tried to kiss my wife she backed away, i said isnt that wrong she doesnt want to kiss me(jokingly) the girl blutrs out" thats because she wants to kiss me" my wife said nothing . and the next week my wife baked a cake for my birthday the girl was over just us three were there my wife asked from the kitchen if i wanted any cake, i said no ill just lick some off of you later , that sounds good doesnt it(jokingly i love to joke and laugh) this time the girl said that does sound good licking cake off of her, then i started to get suspicious

anyway i confronted her about it she got upset and denied it(very upset)then ppl that worked with them, mutual friends said comments like"we thought something was going on between them" they had no idea this was an issue between me and my wife, so that added fuel to the fire, we argued about it alot since

and the girl stopped coming around or calling i was going to finally asked the girl so i called her and left a couple of mesages thati wanted to talk to her( she knew nothing of our arguments about this or even that it was a issue) then a week later her phone # was changed to an unpublished #hmmmmmmmm????? interesting i thought

now this has been a while ago, i threw out the movies and my wife said she wouldnt do it anymore (masturbate) but she ordered ppv and does it and still does it saying that i have a problem because it shouldnt be a big deal, HELLO I GET NO SATISFACTION id rather have a human touch as opposed to doing it myself, and she still denies anything ever happned with that girl,theres so much more to tell but i have to make this shorter dont want anyone to get tired of reading my story but she lies about watching the movies still( just recently caught her after months of her saying she didnt) then she confessed she still does,

ive always tried to give her what she wants, i do laundry dishes and cook, i do help out as well as work over 40hrs a week,and the short time we did seem we were working it out she watched a couple of movies with me she really gets turned on by the mff OR FFF threesomes but when i ask if shes bi she says shes disgusted of the thought of another woman,GET REAL LMAO WHAT A JOKE

SO ANY INPUT WOULD BE HELPFUL AND IM OPEN TO ANY ?S ANYONE HAS

IM I WRONG TO BE UPSET THAT SHE GETS PLEASURE WITH A MOVIE AND NOT AT ALL WITH ME ( I NEVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS B4) IF WE HAD A" NORMAL SEX LIFE" I WOULDNT CARE IF SHE DID IT, BUT SHE ALWAYS DENIES ME SEX