In Process of Divorce - Having a Hard Time

ValeriaM

Hi, I recently filed for divorce last week. It wasn't what I wanted but my husband sees things his way or no way at all. I could never connect with him emotionally - he never wanted to understand my feelings. All I wanted was a best friend, someone I could trust and who would treat me as an equal. He wanted a maid and a sex partner.

I felt totally alone being married to him. No connection emotionally because the world revolved around him. I wasn't important - I was there just to be a "wife".

I love him and it hurts but I can't be in a marriage that I don't feel I'm treated as an equal and a "best friend". When we had problems he'd call up his family and tell them everything. I felt like an outsider.

Anyway - I know it's best that I leave this marriage because he's just too into himself. He will be served divorce papers this week and it breaks my heart because I still love him but can no longer be treated like someone who isn't important and whose feelings do not matter. My self esteem was eroding.

I am sad and it's difficult - I feel like such a failure - we were so close before we got married - he treated me so much better before I became his wife. Once we got married he treated me totally different - all respect went out the window and I was to conform to his standards of what a wife should be. He didn't marry me as a person - he married me to have a body in his house cleaning and cooking and performing sex acts.

I tried talking to him about my feelings but he laughed at me. This hurt me a great deal. We had big arguments - I could never get a word in so I gave up.

I'm sad - going thru the motions. Is this feeling normal? I miss what we had before we got married.