[MadMonkD27]

Folks:

I have no idea where to start. My brother, 24, and his girlfriend, 21, have just recently announced their engagement to both families. Now this wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that they just also announced that she is pregnant. They have only known each other for less than a year and have been living together for 10 months. But you are probably wondering, what is so bad about this?

For starters, I am starting to have my doubts. When she mentioned the news, she mentioned this isn't to entrap him or something like that and that. (?) At one point in time before she announced this (about a few months back) she mentioned to me that due to her condition (some type of cancer that runs in the family), she couldn't have any children. That statement right now is no longer true. But that's just it because she told me that her family was at their apartment having dinner when they made this announcement. Granted she explained that she found out on Friday. But also I am concerned that my brother is being forced to get married because of this. And, get this they want to have this wedding in JUNE.

The other issue is that my mother seems very dissapointed in my little brother because she has sacrificed herself to make sure that all three (me, my brother, and my sister) had a good education, good economic backing and good place to start. But now she feels that by getting her pregnant, he is not thinking straight and he was probably being forced by her and her family. But at the same time feel that he is jumping too soon. Its not like he doesn't have a job or anything like that. But at the same time, he wants to get his bar exam taken care of, but with a child on the way, will he have time to study, will he have time for himself? And I don't think he even realizes what he has gotten himself into. I just hope that he realizes soon what he is getting himself to. I mean he has a job, but its not what he studied for. And I hope that he doesn't stay at that job for ever. but I'm trying to be reasonable here and not choose sides, I will tell you that something here isn't right.

The other part is that her family isn't exactly what you call average, but then again what is average? But I ve always been told that when you marry someone you marry their family and quite frankly I'm not too sure if I would marry into this family myself. Also you want to marry someone who is at your level and someone you don't have to carry. But that's just one part of it. The other parts are: The father of the girlfriend is an alcoholic, the mom is very distant, at least the sisters and brothers are close, but are unmarried and have children with the exception of the older sister. Not that I'm complaining that they are not good people (with the exception of the dad who is difficult to deal with), But both my mother and my brother made a lot of sacrifices to get far in life only for this to happen. Now was this unplanned, yea, but I think the girlfriend had this planned all along (Now I may be wrong and hopefully I will be proven wrong as time goes)

Personally, and I will let him know as soon as I get a chance, is that he is nuts, he should wait for some time before getting married and wait until he passes the bar exam. After all he has been through, I think he deserves better.
But maybe its just because of how we were raised. Right now I did tell him I will support him and that I still love him and I congratulated him on his engagement, but at the same time I STILL think he's nuts for getting engaged, but then again with the pregnancy it is understandable. But I think that something isn't right here. What do you folks think? And Thank you in advance.