[klind1970]

My wife has been in love with another man for six months now. He is a guy who helps her lead a church youth group. She has pretty much made herself be obsessed with this guy and it is driving me crazy. He is 7 years younger than her and has no idea that my wife has feelings for him. I of course know about the situation, because my wife told me last week. I told her she either needed to tell him how she feels or she needs to stop feeling this way about him. It literally drives her crazy, because she thinks about him so much... She tells me that she could never tell him about her feelings for him, because she says it would never work.

So anyways, that leaves me in quite a bad situation. I love her to death and have really been trying to overcome a really bad past with her. mostly bad because of me.. We are both going to counseling and we are both on medication for depression. The hard part for me is that I really need her love and affection, and have been told by her to give her some space.

I am so lonely and sad that it is making me go mad!!!! Am I doing the right thing by being patient and staying with her or should I try a different approach. If someone out there could give me some advice, I would really appreciate it.....

Oh, by the way, the secret man.... no one else even knows about him except for me and her best friend who doesn't really have any advice for her because her husband is cheating on her....

I have really been trying to be a good husband. I cook dinner, wash clothes, clean the house, take care of the kids and I also work at a very demanding job. I just don't know if all the effort is getting me anywhere. I am becoming very frustrated, and I don't know how much more I can take...

My wife says that she is happy in every other aspect of her life except for her marriage right now!!!! She says that I drag her down because I am always in the dumps and I don't make her feel happy and make her laugh. This other guy does these things for her, even though she only sees him once a week. How does she expect me to feel when the only thing that would make me happy right now is for come back to me and be my wife....

I have one other question..... My wife will take her wedding band off and not wear it for weeks at a time, whereas before she would never take it off. Does this mean in her mind that she thinks our marriage is over or what? I don't know myself... sometimes I just want to take it and hide it to see if she even bothers to ask me where it is......

well enough rambling, I hope that someone out there in the shack will be able to help me......