20 year marriage - unhappy and want out, but scared.

guest

I am not happy. I've been married almos t20 years. I want to tell him to leave but I can't afford it. If he leaves I won't be able to afford the house and my invalid sister lives iwth me, and I have a bunch of dogs and cats. even if i had a regular job (i work temporary jobs because ican't find a perment one) i couldn't afford to keep my house and i lov emy house. I would have to get rid of my dogs and cats and try to find a place for my sister and I to live and I don't want to lose them--they are all that I still love int he world.

I also don't want to be alone. He does help a lot and he doesn't mind my sister living with us at all --she's no problem and does't interfere or require anything of him and she gives us $250 a month from her disability as rent and we need that. But I don't love him and havne't loved him in many years. We only have one car and its in bad shape--even together we can't afford another car now. we are house-poor and when he lost his good job a few years ago and our income was cut in half we had to file bankruptcy so we wouldn't lose the house. It will be very hard to buy even a small house with that on our credit and apartment rents are higher than what we are paying for our house. With the bankruptcy it will beimpossible to get a loan for acar -- especially since I don't have a regular job and am on umemployment at least 3 months out of every year. I couldn't afford a car payment now.

How do I get out of this marriage? I'm not looking for another man -- in fact I wouldn't date anyone anyway--I don't want to. I don't know if I should tell him I want a divorce now or just keep things the way they are. When your young its easy to say "let go" and find happiness somewhere else, but at my age it just doesn't seem like a very good idea. I don't think I would be any happier without him as apposed to being with him, I don't think I would be any unhappier either.

I guess I've answerd my own question. Stick with the known even if its not much. but, Maybe I could try to find a roommate who would pay enough each month to keep the house? They would have their own bedroom and bathroom and I can even give them a separate den. But my pets would have to accept him or her. How can I find someone I would trust? Some of my animals need some special care and they need to be kept separate. I'm not asking someone to tellme what to do, but I'd like to hear you ropinions on what you think you would do. It might help me make up my mind. Thank you.