[gilmore]

My husband and I have been together for 5 years and my life is hell. He won't work - by choice, has been content with me working my behind off to support the family all along, has trashed my credit, depleted my savings, has stolen from me, and will not go away. We have a young child together. He says that he wants to leave as soon as he finds a job, but won't put much effort into finding one. By law, I cannot have him removed from the home without physical abuse (he doesn't hit), and cannot afford to walk away from a lease that is in my name. I can file for divorce while he is in the house, they won't grant it until he is out.

He is verbally abusive in front of our child, and anything I ask our daughter to do - he tells her it's okay. He has destroyed my effectiveness as a parent in trying to teach our daughter what's okay and what isn't. He teaches her foul language and laughs when she repeats it.
He has no sense of responsibility - doesn't believe in wasting the time to file taxes (I do it anyway), has lost checking accounts in his name by living beyond his means, doesn't care whether or not bills get paid, has never kept a job for more than a year, and states that he will not "lower himself" to perform jobs that he feels are beneath him.

Nobody has to tell me about my part in this - I realize it and just want to fix things. He doesn't listen to reason, and has no respect for me or any other female.
My friends all have advice that has a higher price tag than I can come up with i.e. rent a place for him, walk away from the lease, etc. They also tell me they would throw him out - you can't if he won't leave. Telling him daily that you want him out, changing the locks, taking away the money, and making life difficult are all things that do not work with everyone. I have tried this.