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Devastated
Hi Everyone,
I found my way here while I was searching the web for info on seperation/loss support. I don't know how I ended up here, but it's been really nice to read the honest opinions and responses of everyone that has posted to another's problems.
I fear I am going to get nailed for my post, but here goes:
I majorly screwed up - I'm getting what I deserve and trust me, let me save you all the typing, I KNOW THIS. The situation is that I became friends with a married man. The wife is out of state and has been for 5 months, (he transferred and she is finally able to leave her job and join him). Anyway, during this time, he and I became great friends. He had no marital problems and we were sincerely just friends. We ended up spending a lot of time together, as I was showing him around the new area. We developed a terrific friendship and then,,,one day,,,something clicked, and it passed the point of "just friends", we basically fell in love with eachother. I know it was wrong, he knows it was wrong, and we have had several very honest (and painful) conversations about the mistakes we've made. The bottom line is that I wish him well with his marriage which he is committed to, and things have ended. It is a relief, but extremely painful. Prior to him, I had pretty much no social life and had spent many years (4) very lonely and isolated due to my job. It was hard to meet people and develop a stable relationship due to my work and, I think, the fact that an incredible person walked into my life and woke my heart up again, well, I really fell for it, and I fell for him. It's over and I am moving away. I know I am getting what I deserve, but after being so lonely for so many years, I am completely devastated and at a real loss as to how to deal WITH this loss. He so affected me. We laughed, listened, talked; it was an incredible feeling with him.
In the future, we will have no contact, which is both of our wishes, but I am still and literally grieving this companionship. I am devastated. Do any of you have any advice to help me cope with this? I know some of you may slam me, and feel free, but your words can not hurt me more than I have hurt myself, him, and his unknowing wife. So please, I just really need some advice on how to deal with this loss.......I have no tears left to cry,,,,,,,,,
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