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It was a disaster


sevensisters

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sevensisters

After many years my wife finally agreed to have a threesome with another man. We have both fantasized about this for as long as we have been together and although she didn't want to act it out she finaly agreed. We decided to put an add on a swingers site and received hundreds of replies from single men (most of whom were married and wanted no strings attached fun) and finally agreed to meet one good looking guy in a pub for a drink to see where it lead.

The drink went well and we agreed to go back to our home. We were both really turned on in anticipation and after another glass or two of wine our guest followed my lead when I started stroking my wifes leg and breast.

Eventually we all ended up naked and, as in our fantasy, I was watching this other guy having sex with my wife. She was loving it and I was that turned on watching him and her enjoying it that I started involuntarily ejaculated and lost my erection.

As soon as I did the fun was over for me and I had to watch my wife continue to have sex with another man until he finished, as agreed between us before , by pulling out, removing his condom and masturbating over her breast.

It was not a nice experience and as I know that this is a common fantasy, particularly for men, I am sharing this experience so that other will think very hard before following it through. I am not sure it would have been different if it had all gone to plan and I had had sex with my wife after he had finished but I do wish that I had not persuaded her to go through with it.

Be warned.

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american-woman
After many years my wife finally agreed to have a threesome with another man. We have both fantasized about this for as long as we have been together and although she didn't want to act it out she finaly agreed. We decided to put an add on a swingers site and received hundreds of replies from single men (most of whom were married and wanted no strings attached fun) and finally agreed to meet one good looking guy in a pub for a drink to see where it lead.

The drink went well and we agreed to go back to our home. We were both really turned on in anticipation and after another glass or two of wine our guest followed my lead when I started stroking my wifes leg and breast.

Eventually we all ended up naked and, as in our fantasy, I was watching this other guy having sex with my wife. She was loving it and I was that turned on watching him and her enjoying it that I started involuntarily ejaculated and lost my erection.

As soon as I did the fun was over for me and I had to watch my wife continue to have sex with another man until he finished, as agreed between us before , by pulling out, removing his condom and masturbating over her breast.

It was not a nice experience and as I know that this is a common fantasy, particularly for men, I am sharing this experience so that other will think very hard before following it through. I am not sure it would have been different if it had all gone to plan and I had had sex with my wife after he had finished but I do wish that I had not persuaded her to go through with it.

Be warned.

Sometimes a fantasy should just remain that

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What has been her reaction to all of this after the event. Does she wish to continue in this activity? You may have bigger problems down the line from all of this.

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whichwayisup

Well, don't do it again...There are reasons why 3-somes do not work out! On paper and talking about it - It sounds HOT and fun, but from what I've read on LS and just in general, reality is much different than fantasy......

 

Talk to your wife, and bond with her. Do everything possible to re-connect and make your sex life fun and hot WITHOUT involving other people.

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MarriedLife

I've been the "the other guy" with the wife while hubby watched. My last encounter didn't end well. The wife and I ended up having strong feelings for one another. Their marriage ended in divorce.

 

For anyone looking to swing, be happy in your relationship first, don't pressure your spouse, and don't proceed if there are any doubts.

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Whoa! how come I didnt get that lucky!

 

They say it is a door that once you open you can't close!! the art of swinging! something that has made me somewhat wealthy!

I own a swinger's community affair in NYC, but have never actually acted out the part of being involved in a 3 some.

 

Married for a long time... I introduced my stbxH to this lifestyle. He always suggested that we set one up. I wanted the 2 men, and of course he refused and wanted the 2 females, so I refused!

I know a lot of people that have actually left their spouse for the 3rd leg. Usually the W has left the H for the OW. LOL!

sorry that it didn't work out for you and that this perhaps has put a dent on your relationship.

As someone said before... fantasies should be left at that... fantasies!

Not everyone is equiped or mentally de-attached to be able to bear a 3 some. TO some it is just sex and pleasure, to others could be a blow to intimacy.

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lawl, so you pressured your wife into doing it, now your bitching about how you hate what happened? funny stuff.

 

wtf, people need to think before they act.

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She was loving it and I was that turned on watching him and her enjoying it that I started involuntarily ejaculated and lost my erection.

As soon as I did the fun was over for me and I had to watch my wife continue to have sex with another man until he finished, as agreed between us before , by pulling out, removing his condom and masturbating over her breast.

It sounds like, had you not popped your cork prematurely, you would have been OK with the whole thing. Your basis for concern seems a little flawed...

 

Mr. Lucky

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I've always wondered if those things end up biting you in the ass. My H has always wanted a 3-some (of course the 2 women scenerio for him, :rolleyes:)

 

Sorry it didn't work out for you, but like the previous poster, if you hadn't popped early, would you have considered it a success?

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OP, next time try doing a costume fantasy and video taping you and your wife. Then watch it with her and imagine it's some other guy if that works for you. I have a feeling it's a typical male thing, that you want to watch, and that's hard to do when you're in the middle of it. Males are visual.

 

Of course, I may be completely wrong :D

 

BTW, I assume you're aware that a second erection is possible (and could've been); your wife could've helped with that :) Then the other guy could've watched you all.

 

I have no interest in this sexual behavior but just wanted to point out the possibilities. Hope your relationship is OK.

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sevensisters

Thanks to those who have left comments and after a period of reflection and thought, now that the immediate moment has passed, there is a possibility that we may do the same again. My wife and I have a very strong relationship and it has not suffered as a result of my disappointment and initial feelings immediately following the event.

Turning to one or two of the specific points and pieces of possible advice offered, which we are grateful for. Regaining my erection and orgasming twice is not an option for me, although I wish it was. At 53 I find I need several hours to recover, at the minimum, and in a normal week twice is an average.

Does my wife wish to continue? Surprisingly she enjoyed it more than she expected and although she was also disappointed that I wasn't able to finish with her she did enjoy the experience. She also admits that her previous reluctance was more from worrying about getting some wierdo than not wanting to do it. We have agreed, however, that rather than seek out potential partners and organise the event as we had done before, we would try and orchestrate situations where the time and moment may be right; particularly while on holiday once or twice a year - if it happens. She does not want another female involved as she has no lesbian tendancies and she wants to be sexually satisfied afterwards and we need to be in control of when things should stop and not agree an action plan with our guest before hand and we should both work on the third party together, which we have both also fantasised about.

To sum up:

1) If you don't have a strong relationship with your wife/partner, fantasise but don't go through with it.

2) If you are the jealous type or insecure, forget it.

3) Whatever happens discuss it afterwards and only if you both want to continue do it again.

4) We both agree that it is better with people that we will not meet again.

Finally, if 1 - 3 are a yes for you we would both encourge couples to give it ago if their fantasies are as strong as ours. We have been together for many, many years and sex can become a routine which ultimately can destroy a marriage. We now appreciate that any infidelity will be painful but would rather be present when it takes place thus removing the deceipt.

I am sure many will think that this is nothing more than distorted thinking but our love making over the weekend was more intense than it has been for years as we verbally shared the sexual experience that we had shared with a stranger just two days earlier.

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Darth Vader

I find it funny that your wife would allow another man in her, but she doesn't want you to be in another woman, doesn't that sound really off to you? It sounds really selfish of her if you ask me! And double standard! I'm not for any of this IMO, but, run this by her and see what she says and thinks! Now I'm gonna leave this alone!

Edited by Darth Vader
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I find it funny that your wife would allow another man in her, but she doesn't want you to be in another woman, doesn't that sound really off to you? It sounds really selfish of her if you ask me! And double standard! I'm not for any of this IMO, but, run this by her and see what she says and thinks! Now I'm gonna leave this alone!

 

It is possible that jealousy and insecurity, on her part, could play a bigger role than she's willing to acknowledge. But she does make a good point in that in a FMF threesome, the tendency is for the OW to engage in sex with the wife. If the wife has an aversion towards lesbian sex, then her position is totally understandable.

 

 

Seven,

 

It's good that you and your wife had a good talk afterwards about rules for any future threesomes. But please don't be naive into believing that an open marriage is immune to infidelity. While there are many wives who do cheat on their husbands because they are in a sexless marriages, the truth is that for most women, affairs are seldom about sex. An emotionally well fed wife is less likely to have an affair even if sex with her husband could stand for some much needed improvement.

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It is possible that jealousy and insecurity, on her part, could play a bigger role than she's willing to acknowledge. But she does make a good point in that in a FMF threesome, the tendency is for the OW to engage in sex with the wife. If the wife has an aversion towards lesbian sex, then her position is totally understandable.

 

Isn't it a "double standard" that in a FMF threesome, the assumption is pretty much always that the two women will get it on together as well as with the guy, whereas MFM threesomes almost never feater male-on-male action? In fact, is it not a "double standard" that BOTH versions USUALLY involve some measure of the M watching his W get it on with the third party (M or W) before he steps in and asserts his "ownership" over his W? It's probably out there (Rule 34) but I've not seen scenarios where two guys get it on before the W steps in and takes her man, leaving the other guy to pleasure her on the side, or the W watches her M and the other W before shoving the OW out of the way to have her wicked way with her M.

 

Physiologically, unless the W is into Ws too, it makes sense for a threesome to be MFM because while one W can sustain many guys, more than one W with a guy (where there's no W-on-W action) will usually leave at least one (if not both) of the W unsatisfied and the M with a bad case of performance anxiety.

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The common theme is "guys like to watch"...

 

FMF can work fine too if the guy likes cunnilingus/rim jobs, etc. Similar stimulation pattern to 69 and, if the ladies are into each other, some opportunity for shared intimacy whilst on him.

 

Not that I've ever tried it :D

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MarriedLife
An emotionally well fed wife is less likely to have an affair even if sex with her husband could stand for some much needed improvement.

 

I agree!

 

Give the wife romance, support, security, stabilty. Isn't that ultimately what a woman is looking for?

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Darth Vader
The common theme is "guys like to watch"...

 

FMF can work fine too if the guy likes cunnilingus/rim jobs, etc. Similar stimulation pattern to 69 and, if the ladies are into each other, some opportunity for shared intimacy whilst on him.

 

Not that I've ever tried it :D

 

 

If guys like to watch, he could have just "watched her have sex with him" That's what woman on top is fo- well, I think you get the point.;)

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Darth Vader
I agree!

 

Give the wife romance, support, security, stabilty. Isn't that ultimately what a woman is looking for?

 

 

Well, women these days want sex too!;)

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Author
sevensisters

Thanks to all those who took an interest in our experience and posted advice, comments and opinions. Almost a month has past and I am pleased to say that our agreed strategy paid of last night. We decided to visit a mixed swingers sauna in a neighbouring town which we had not been to before. There were several guys on their own who we chatted to and one in particular was very polite and we got on with him fine. We shared a bottle of wine and invited him into a private room. Once there both he and I began arousing my wife and brought her to orgasm on several occasions until she was satisfied. As the mere sight of her being f*cked by the another guy made me ejaculate before, we had agreed that she would m*sturbate him and as soon as he started to cum I would enter her. It didn't take him long and I followed suite within seconds of starting to copulate with her. We had another glass of wine and then left.

Once again we discussed what had happened afterwards and we both agreed that we enjoyed the experience. She prefered having me involved in arousing her as the thrill of some new hands on her mixed with my knowing exactly where she is in her build up to an orgasm and what does it for her brought her to new hights of excitement. On my part watching her masturbate someone else and seeing him ejaculate while I was doing the same inside her was a fantastic experience. We both feel as though we have moved on and found a happy balance as for the first time for a long time I was able to achieve orgasm the same night on returning home.

There is no doubt in my mind that our new experience has strengthened our relationship as sex has always been very important to both of us and this side of our life was going very stale. We will continue to embark on similar encouters and my wife has suggested that I involve myself in helping her sexually satisfying the 'other man' during foreplay, which I have no objections to, as the though turns her on and we believe that our new found interest is as much about pleasing each other as ourselves.

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I.

 

Cannot.

 

Believe.

 

How.

 

People.

 

Live.

 

 

I often think I am on Planet Coo-Coo.

 

 

And the original poster, so scientific and precise in all the gory detail. What a writer. I had to stop reading.

 

Mr. "53" year old Swinger....You are so in for a bad end to all of this, it is just a matter of time.

 

OE

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Thanks to those who have left comments and after a period of reflection and thought, now that the immediate moment has passed, there is a possibility that we may do the same again. My wife and I have a very strong relationship and it has not suffered as a result of my disappointment and initial feelings immediately following the event.

Turning to one or two of the specific points and pieces of possible advice offered, which we are grateful for. Regaining my erection and orgasming twice is not an option for me, although I wish it was. At 53 I find I need several hours to recover, at the minimum, and in a normal week twice is an average.

Does my wife wish to continue? Surprisingly she enjoyed it more than she expected and although she was also disappointed that I wasn't able to finish with her she did enjoy the experience. She also admits that her previous reluctance was more from worrying about getting some wierdo than not wanting to do it. We have agreed, however, that rather than seek out potential partners and organise the event as we had done before, we would try and orchestrate situations where the time and moment may be right; particularly while on holiday once or twice a year - if it happens. She does not want another female involved as she has no lesbian tendancies and she wants to be sexually satisfied afterwards and we need to be in control of when things should stop and not agree an action plan with our guest before hand and we should both work on the third party together, which we have both also fantasised about.

To sum up:

1) If you don't have a strong relationship with your wife/partner, fantasise but don't go through with it.

2) If you are the jealous type or insecure, forget it.

3) Whatever happens discuss it afterwards and only if you both want to continue do it again.

4) We both agree that it is better with people that we will not meet again.

Finally, if 1 - 3 are a yes for you we would both encourge couples to give it ago if their fantasies are as strong as ours. We have been together for many, many years and sex can become a routine which ultimately can destroy a marriage. We now appreciate that any infidelity will be painful but would rather be present when it takes place thus removing the deceipt.

I am sure many will think that this is nothing more than distorted thinking but our love making over the weekend was more intense than it has been for years as we verbally shared the sexual experience that we had shared with a stranger just two days earlier.

 

 

Sorry to break this to you fella...You're going to end up divorced and your wife is going to end up boning whichever 3-some partner she finds the most compelling.

 

Dumb move on your part.:rolleyes:

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After many years my wife finally agreed to have a threesome with another man. We have both fantasized about this for as long as we have been together and although she didn't want to act it out she finaly agreed. We decided to put an add on a swingers site and received hundreds of replies from single men (most of whom were married and wanted no strings attached fun) and finally agreed to meet one good looking guy in a pub for a drink to see where it lead.

The drink went well and we agreed to go back to our home. We were both really turned on in anticipation and after another glass or two of wine our guest followed my lead when I started stroking my wifes leg and breast.

Eventually we all ended up naked and, as in our fantasy, I was watching this other guy having sex with my wife. She was loving it and I was that turned on watching him and her enjoying it that I started involuntarily ejaculated and lost my erection.

As soon as I did the fun was over for me and I had to watch my wife continue to have sex with another man until he finished, as agreed between us before , by pulling out, removing his condom and masturbating over her breast.

It was not a nice experience and as I know that this is a common fantasy, particularly for men, I am sharing this experience so that other will think very hard before following it through. I am not sure it would have been different if it had all gone to plan and I had had sex with my wife after he had finished but I do wish that I had not persuaded her to go through with it.

Be warned.

 

Yup, now you have a wife that you now knows likes to have sex with other men.

 

Thats why if I ever was in a relationship with a woman that told me she had often fantasized about me, her and another man/woman, I'd have to stand up and say, "its been nice knowing ya", and simply walk out the door.

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Whoa! how come I didnt get that lucky!

 

They say it is a door that once you open you can't close!! the art of swinging! something that has made me somewhat wealthy!

I own a swinger's community affair in NYC, but have never actually acted out the part of being involved in a 3 some.

 

Married for a long time... I introduced my stbxH to this lifestyle. He always suggested that we set one up. I wanted the 2 men, and of course he refused and wanted the 2 females, so I refused! .

 

 

Whoa, hold up here a minute. Minime, you have been on here as if you are a jilted ex-wife whose husband cheated on you.

 

Yet now you are admitting you wanted to have sex with other men during your marriage?

 

I don't want to ever hear you complain about cheaters again.

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Whoa, hold up here a minute. Minime, you have been on here as if you are a jilted ex-wife whose husband cheated on you.

 

Yet now you are admitting you wanted to have sex with other men during your marriage?

 

I don't want to ever hear you complain about cheaters again.

 

Its not cheating if both partners agree to do this. It will always be a situation that leaves the relationship at risk for cheating, but cheating is something you do behind your partner's back.

OP and his wife agreed to swing TOGETHER.

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Its not cheating if both partners agree to do this. It will always be a situation that leaves the relationship at risk for cheating, but cheating is something you do behind your partner's back.

OP and his wife agreed to swing TOGETHER.

 

The point was, she wanted sex with another man besides her husband, but obviously didn't want him to have it with someone else.

 

She was more than willing to have another guy inside her, but when the shoe was on the other foot, she didn't think it was right?

 

So she wanted her husband to "agree" to let another guy f##k her, but she didn't want to agree to let her husband f##k another woman.

 

Either way, I'm sorry I backed her in her rants against cheaters. And cheating or no cheating, she portrayed herself as the innocent victim. Well just by what she posted here, she aint innocent of a damn thing.

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