[xyz_212]

i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. the last 4 month sof our relationship were tough and i finally couldnt take it anymore. he wanted space. we took one or two week breaks and when we would see each other again after the break things would be ok for a day or two and he would get back into his distant ways and i would feel neglected.

it was as if he wanted to go backwards... he was saying things like lets see less of each othere right now.. why do we have to be so serious. etc etc. so i moved from chicago to ny. we were discussing moving together before things went sour so i did it on my own. i felt devastated and lost and so i knew leaving was best for me.

throughout our dragged out desicion to break up he was admiate about keeping in touch and said that he know i was perfect for him and that he wanted to live together in the future, have a family etc etc. he said that he just needed space right now to be on his own to not have to worry about anyone but himself for a while. he said he felt like every descion he made lately had me involved and he just wasnt ready for that.

so as hard as it was for me i had to respect that because im in love with him and so i figured that could work. i have been in ny for one month and we have been keeping in touch. (emails every other day and a phone call once a week) anyways... i was ending up crying on the phone everytime we talked and reading too deep into emails he was sending etc etc..

so you kknow. his emails always included i miss you and ended with 'i love you'/

how am i supposed to read that>? i was getting confused and felt like we were still together//

so he suggested we see each other for christmas to keep up our friendship etc etc and talk about the future and so i thought it would be a good idea.. he said that we would spend new years eve together and well,,, i was thrilled.

yesterday when we talked i asked him for definite date on seeing each other over xmas break and 1st he said he couldnt see me on new years only for a few days after xmas because he didnt have enough vacation time or $$.. then after a few minutes the conversation/story changed... and he then said he wanted to go off on his own because we are <quote> "not together"

then and there i realized that hes right we arent and i have been fooling myself. so i asked him not to contact me ... i said we couldnt talk anymore because it hurts too much.. while it may be easy for him its NOT for me.. simply because its on his terms..


i told him he could only contact me if he wa ready and seriously deciding to move to ny.

why is he doing this.. how could he email and talk all of the time telling me he loves me and misses me.. is he just crazy?

i know i need to move on for now and live my life and not wait..


i guess im looking for opinions, hope, realistic advise.

thanks. these boards are great!