[bchlvr]

My ex and I belong to the same organization. I hoped I could maintain my involvement behind the scenes, but even that may be too painful.

The past 6 months I've had no contact and have tried to avoid her in every way. Last week, I saw her with a group in passing. I did not make eye contact with her, just said a generic "hello" to everyone in the group.

The week before, I bumped into her at a meeting.

I simply could not engage in any conversation or eye contact because I knew I would break down and did not want that to happen in front of her. I also knew that if I engaged with her in any way it would just make what is already very painful all the more acute.

Though she tried to get my attention by giving me some paperwork, I simply couldn't bring myself to have an exchange of pleasantries. I just said thank you and kept very busy.

It would be nice to nod, smile and keep going. But what if you can't even smile?

So, if you in effect ignore the ex who dumped you, who treated you unkind....is that (albeit not justified) rude? Must we be nice at all costs?