I feel like I am going a bit crazy lately regarding the trust I have with my wife. My wife and I are going through some rough times lately (see previous posts). But I find myself not trusting her. I’m starting to think that I am going a bit crazy trying to figure things out. She doesn’t think our relationship can continue but when I mention moving out she feels it’s a bit hasty. She has asked that we sleep in separate beds, which we now do. She will talk to me, in a nicer then normal sort of way, but doesn’t what to have any physical contact with me at all.
So I find myself starting to imagine things that I can’t realistically see her doing like wanted to be with someone else. I have checked the cell phone bills to see if there are any calls, I have looked through her emails etc., all very much paranoia. I don’t want to feel this way but once I am alone the worst keeps going through my mind.
She has sometimes lied to me in the past about smallish things because she said that I over reacted when I heard the truth. I keep wondering about what she would do with the large things. Like I said her character is such that I can’t imagine her doing anything but I don’t know how to explain her behavior lately.
I feel the same way with my wife. The physical contact is there, but I still don't have complete trust in her. I do the same things you do, but I've found some things she's lied about. Like talking to people she said she would stop talking to . Or wanting to talk to her ex. I would never cheat and she knows that, but I get the same feeling about my wife sometimes. I'm in the military too and there are a lot of wives who cheat on their husbands while on deployment. So many marines for example get divorced after deployment. So I'm in the same pickle as you man.
I'm in the military too and there are a lot of wives who cheat on their husbands while on deployment. So many marines for example get divorced after deployment.
Like we used to tell the married Marines when I was in, "Don't worry, when you get home you will find your wife just like you left her. Freshly F*cked!"
__________________
I know the difference between right and wrong, I just don't care.
____________________________________________
Shut up, I'm not done blaming everyone who isn't me.
____________________________________________
"I have done that," says my memory. "I cannot have done that," says my pride, and remains inexorable. Eventually--memory yields.--Nietzsche
Hey Guy ,
I know what you feel .. My h is in a band and i don't trust him cause he has cheated and i feel he is always hiding something maybe it has to do with the fact that he has lied to be about little things.. I check cell bills and land have looked in his emails.. I guess since he has cheated before i don't trust much of what he says anymore .. I guess when you get burnt in a relationship it is so hard to tear down that wall.. i don't understand why she is still wanting you in the house yet you are not having any physical contact with one another.. How are you suppose to work on things if you have little to no contact.. I hope everything works out for you!! Good luck
GS- In my opinion, you have a right to be distrustful and suspicious. Her actions are causing yours? Understand??
I think I told you before, that most women who do and say what she is doing and saying are under the influence of another person.
What she is doing right now is trying to have her cake and eat it too. You're in the house, you're helping her pay the bills and other things, but she's not having to have a relationship with her. Only you can decide how long you're willing to put up with that.
I still find it hard to believe that she could be doing anything like that. She has always said that I overreact. Not physically and not even yelling, just that I start to rant and rave. She said that is why she has sometimes not told me things. Now, realistically these would be classed as relatively minor, household stuff. So when she said that she didn’t love me anymore and didn’t for sometime she said that she didn’t tell me because I would overreact.
So I start wondering, what else hasn’t she told me. Am I being paranoid? I had an affair 7 years ago so maybe I’m being overly sensitive to things because I saw that it can happen to normal good people. I have no doubt that she is not sleeping around but I wonder about the whole emotional affair thing.
So my dilemma is do I say anything? I’m afraid that if I ask her and have that discussion that it will only push her farther away. She already has said that she doesn’t think we can have a normal loving relationship because of the way I am and the way she is. This would only highlight that.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Hybrid Mode
