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Friends falling in love!


Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 21st May 1999, 6:10 PM   #1
Anne
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Friends falling in love!

I have a problem with having friends of the opposite sex. They tend to fall in love with me!

At the monent I have a good friend whom I would hate to lose. I kiss a bit with him and we sleep together sometimes and occationally we have sex.

He knows that I am not in love with him but I don't want to lose his friendship and he can't just be friends with me. He wants more! I am his first real love, apparently.

I know for a fact that he would rather not see me at all than just be friends. And it's not all about sex. I don't know! I've never been in love so it's hard for me to understand. But I feel as if I have to be his girlfriend if I want to keep him as a friend. I could use a some good advice!
 
Old 23rd May 1999, 12:27 AM   #2
NellieBob
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Re: Friends falling in love!

You need to be carefull, some, actually many guys are so convincing that they are in it for the friendship. Almost all of my female friends have had relationships with guys that they thought would be good friends, but most of the time, they try to have sex with them, and if the girl refuses the guy leaves. Broken female hearts all over. Sometimes, I am ashamed to be part of the male population.
Quote:
I have a problem with having friends of the opposite sex. They tend to fall in love with me!

At the monent I have a good friend whom I would hate to lose. I kiss a bit with him and we sleep together sometimes and occationally we have sex. He knows that I am not in love with him but I don't want to lose his friendship and he can't just be friends with me. He wants more! I am his first real love, apparently. I know for a fact that he would rather not see me at all than just be friends. And it's not all about sex. I don't know! I've never been in love so it's hard for me to understand. But I feel as if I have to be his girlfriend if I want to keep him as a friend. I could use a some good advice!
 
Old 28th May 1999, 5:01 PM   #3
Ramon
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Re: Friends falling in love!

Silly girl, didn't anyone ever tell you that the moment a friend crosses over the line and turns into an occasional lover, the friendship has changed and will never be the same. If you don't want to lose you friends of the opposite sex, then control your sexual urges and don't become intimate with them. Why do they fall in love with you? Are you leading them to believe that you are interested in pursuing a relationship because you are kissing and having sex with them?

Subconsciuosly, if you were not interested in them, then you would not sleep with them. The fact that you stated that you have never been in love makes me wonder if you think that sex equals love and the only way you feel loved and special is by having sex with these male friends of yours. You could be putting yourself at risk for a good dose of STD's.

He can't be friends with you because he has feelings for you and you showed some feelings in return by consumating your "Non-relationship" relationship with your friend. I know this sounds harsh, but I could understand this maybe happening once, kissing a bit, slepping together, and having occassional sex makes this guy believe that there possibly is a relationship. If you have sexual urges for your male friends, masturbate instead and DON't jeapordize the friendship. If you lose this person as a friend, there is no one to blame except yourself. Cuidado y Buenas Suerte! (Be carefull and Good Luck!)
Quote:
I have a problem with having friends of the opposite sex. They tend to fall in love with me!

At the monent I have a good friend whom I would hate to lose. I kiss a bit with him and we sleep together sometimes and occationally we have sex. He knows that I am not in love with him but I don't want to lose his friendship and he can't just be friends with me. He wants more! I am his first real love, apparently. I know for a fact that he would rather not see me at all than just be friends. And it's not all about sex. I don't know! I've never been in love so it's hard for me to understand. But I feel as if I have to be his girlfriend if I want to keep him as a friend. I could use a some good advice!
 
 

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