Karis Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I posted this in another thread I was reading because my name was mentioned about being a success story. You're right, I don't check in as much as I did before... My MM did leave his wife. We are together now and she is suing the crap out of him. He has lost everything he ever owned and worked for. Barely has gas to come and see me. Most of his family won't speak to him and he will probably lose his kids as he can't afford the lawyer due to still being in their house (she moved out) and paying all the bills. I feel for him but he doesn't regret a thing. We plan to marry and both know it's for good. Weird thing is I knew it when I met him, he was the one. I'm 39 and never married. Things are tough for us, got lots of things against us, but we're ok. Things between us are good. If we can do this well with all this against us, it will be flying colours when we can just live a normal, peaceful life. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind Illusion Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I'm glad you got a happy ending, even if there are some obstacles. (what relationship lacks those?) Hopefully his family will eventually see that he just was taking steps to insure his happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Karis, Good for you both! Yes, things are difficult now and probably will be for a while, but you are right; if you are going through all this c**p and you're still happy together, imagine what you could be like when everything has settled and sorted itself out???? :bunny: Keep minding each other and check in now and again to let us know how you are!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I responded to you on the other thread Karis, but I'll write here too: I hope you have many, many happy days together :) Link to post Share on other sites
Spiderman Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 All the best to you Karis - With love and patience, nothing is impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 What is meant to be will be. And, yes, Karis, I agree. People DO move mountains to be with the ones that they love. Much luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
LakeGirl Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 If he left his first wife, what makes you think another woman might not come along and interest him more just like you did? Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 You may take this however you wish, and I'm not bashing you, its just my opinon. So you suceeded in getting another womans man? Let me guess they were already having problems and you were there in his time of need? He lost just about everything he ever owned and possibly might lose his kids? Thats not a sucess story. Of course it is for you, he got busted or found out so he probably does deserve to lose those things, and you don't even care because you got what you wanted. Brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 He lost just about everything he ever owned and possibly might lose his kids? Thats not a sucess story. Of course it is for you, he got busted or found out so he probably does deserve to lose those things, and you don't even care because you got what you wanted. Brilliant. Well if the (now) exMM is not complaining, then why are you? Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Well if the (now) exMM is not complaining, then why are you? I'm not complaing at all. I said it was my opinon, never said it was right or wrong. I gave my 2 cents just as others did. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 JackJack, Yes of course you are entitled to have your opinion, but I wonder if you have actually read any of Karis posts before you expressed your opinion? I have read them. I admit that I don't know all the details, but I always thought that Karis now BF decided for himself that he wanted to leave. He was aware of the fact that he would stand to lose financially, that there would be a fallout with family and friends, and (Karis, please correct me if I am wrong!!!) I don't think he was "busted" before he decided to leave. I can only conclude that he chose to do this because HE thought it was the best decision for him in the circumstances, i.e a "success story" of some sort for him. As for Karis, I have always thought that she seems like a good human being. She did care about what happened, in fact she left him to decide for himself. She was in NC for a while before HE decided to leave. I think that is a way of caring and being non-interfering, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 You know, this is kind of along the same lines as my post in Torn Ups thread. When people don't know the whole story. People jump in here sometimes and just read one short thread, and make presumptions when they don't know the whole story. Most times, IT MATTERS when you know the whole story before you say something! that's why I always like to go back into a person's story to gather up some prior facts before just throwing something out there. Personally, I think its more productive! Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Once again it was based on my opinon. If this is a sucess story for her and him, thats great! I wish them all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I wish them all the best. Well JackJack, I certainly agree with you on this one!!! And good luck to you too, by the way! Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Well JackJack, I certainly agree with you on this one!!! And good luck to you too, by the way! Well it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you didn't agree, but since you do, great! You wish me luck? Good we all need luck sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I'm not gonna go tit for tat over this one, but it was more like an assumptive comment laced with sarcasm than an opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I posted this in another thread I was reading because my name was mentioned about being a success story. You're right, I don't check in as much as I did before... My MM did leave his wife. We are together now and she is suing the crap out of him. He has lost everything he ever owned and worked for. Barely has gas to come and see me. Most of his family won't speak to him and he will probably lose his kids as he can't afford the lawyer due to still being in their house (she moved out) and paying all the bills. I feel for him but he doesn't regret a thing. We plan to marry and both know it's for good. Weird thing is I knew it when I met him, he was the one. I'm 39 and never married. Things are tough for us, got lots of things against us, but we're ok. Things between us are good. If we can do this well with all this against us, it will be flying colours when we can just live a normal, peaceful life. I wish you lots of luck on your situation. I was once the OW so I can relate some what. I didn't have the best sucess story though. I thought I did in the beginning. My OM lost everything to, even his son. He gave up all that just to be with me. About 6 months into our relationship after he lost everything, he started to have regrets. He to told me he didn't regret nothing, but he later on did. He started to miss his ex wife and son. He later on regretted he gave up all that, his family life, and even his materail things just to be with me. I began to feel awful. I had a hand in ruining this mans life. Of course it was his choice to leave them, but I still had a hand in it being that I was the OW. I begged and pleaded for him to stay with me, becasue I was needy and clingy and he was my everything. He told me he would stay. Things seemed ok for awhile. Then I later on found out that he was talking to someone else on the side. Not his ex wife either. This was someone completely different. He eventually came clean with me that he had feelings for another woman. I was hurt terribly. I let him go. I realized I made a huge mistake being with this man. Of course I loved him and enjoyed the time we had together. But I finally saw if he can do this to his wife and kid, he can do it to me and he did. He was selfish and so was I. I so hope that things work out for the best for you though. Sometimes there are sucess stories and sometimes not. Best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karis Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 If he left his first wife, what makes you think another woman might not come along and interest him more just like you did? I can't guarantee that won't happen. But I can't guarantee that won't happen with any other man either.... Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 You know what? This can happen to anyone. There are no guarantees in life. You go into a R with all good intents and you really never know what might happen in the future. But if we all waited for guarantees, no one would ever take a chance or even get married! You can't live like that!! It comes down to a leap of faith. JMHO. I do wish you luck again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karis Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 You may take this however you wish, and I'm not bashing you, its just my opinon. So you suceeded in getting another womans man? Let me guess they were already having problems and you were there in his time of need? He lost just about everything he ever owned and possibly might lose his kids? Thats not a sucess story. Of course it is for you, he got busted or found out so he probably does deserve to lose those things, and you don't even care because you got what you wanted. Brilliant. JackJack, I don't think I succeeded in anything and I wasn't trying to get another woman's man. He is the one who decided to leave. I was under the impression that his circumstances were different in the beginning. When I thought that maybe they weren't - I left him and the situation. He was aware of the fact that he would stand to lose financially, and it was something he thought long and hard about. He knew there would be fallout with family and friends, and he decided it was worth it. He was not "busted" before he decided to leave. He just decided to leave because he thought it was the best decision for himself and his kids as they were living with 2 parents who were not happy. Actually, one thing you don't know is that he did try one last time to see if he could work it out. They went to a few counselling sessions and also to a priest and the church. He went through his old wedding album to try and remember why they married in the first place. His wife called me when it was over between them and told me this. As did he. She is the one who told me that it was obvious the more he tried to stay and work it out with her, the unhappier he got. SHE noticed that. SHE called me to tell me that. I asked his wife if she wanted me to step aside. She said no...she told me the marraige was over. I cared about what happened. Yes, the situation stank with the facts of him being a married man when I met him. But I don't feel guilty because I didn't steal anyone's man or husband. He left her and in the end she and I resolved things between each other. I can live with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karis Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 JackJack, Yes of course you are entitled to have your opinion, but I wonder if you have actually read any of Karis posts before you expressed your opinion? I have read them. I admit that I don't know all the details, but I always thought that Karis now BF decided for himself that he wanted to leave. He was aware of the fact that he would stand to lose financially, that there would be a fallout with family and friends, and (Karis, please correct me if I am wrong!!!) I don't think he was "busted" before he decided to leave. I can only conclude that he chose to do this because HE thought it was the best decision for him in the circumstances, i.e a "success story" of some sort for him. As for Karis, I have always thought that she seems like a good human being. She did care about what happened, in fact she left him to decide for himself. She was in NC for a while before HE decided to leave. I think that is a way of caring and being non-interfering, don't you? Thanks for the support! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karis Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 You know, this is kind of along the same lines as my post in Torn Ups thread. When people don't know the whole story. People jump in here sometimes and just read one short thread, and make presumptions when they don't know the whole story. Most times, IT MATTERS when you know the whole story before you say something! that's why I always like to go back into a person's story to gather up some prior facts before just throwing something out there. Personally, I think its more productive! Me too!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Thanks for the support! Karis, Anytime, girl!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I notice alot of OW stick together and bash others that have a different opinon on the matter. Which usually means its somthing they don't want to hear, its called reality. And yes some ppl will not be supportive of others who are OW/OM. Its fantastic to see so many women in the same boat stick together of course they are going to support each other. They are are pretty much share the same interests. You all should be proud of sticking up for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karis Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 I notice alot of OW stick together and bash others that have a different opinon on the matter. Which usually means its somthing they don't want to hear, its called reality. And yes some ppl will not be supportive of others who are OW/OM. Its fantastic to see so many women in the same boat stick together of course they are going to support each other. They are are pretty much share the same interests. You all should be proud of sticking up for each other. 1. What I notice is that when people do have a different opinion that is unsupportive of the OW - it's usually not presented very nicely. It is usually presented as criticism. 2. What I notice is that we are still people feeling the need to defend ourselves against that criticism. We all know there are exceptions to the rule, but in general, this is what I notice... An opinion is one thing, critical harsh words are another. 3. What I notice is that a lot of the time people giving such "opinions" are jumping in as a guest. Why is that? Link to post Share on other sites
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