audrie Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Been knowing this MM for 5 months and in the beginning he told me that he wanted to leave his marriage with or without me (I found out later that it is rubbish but by then it was too late, i am already falling to him) He has tried to end up this relationship for few times but we ended up together again. this past week, i have been so pissed off with him and we havent talked for almost a week. SOmetimes I think I deserve better life than being a third party. But another voice in my head told me that I love him so much Been pondering whether I should tell his wife about our affair too. Link to post Share on other sites
anotherguy Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 well your halfway there if you haven't talked to him in a week , make it another week, then another, drop ever thought of your so called "realationship and movve on, there's thousand of fish in the sea and chances are he's just useing you for sex , sorry Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Thats up to you wheather you tell the wife or not. My guess is you want to tell her because things are not going your way with him as far as him ending things with her. I highly doubt he will leave her, but I may be wrong. There are people who will eventually leave their spouse for another but most don't. I would say cut your ties with this man. He sounds wishy washy and besides he has a wife, and you on the side, he sees it as having both worlds. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Totally agree with what Jade says about the wife thing you are just mad and want to get back at him thinking if you tell the wife he will leave her!! Some men use the other women for an outlet because with a wife you have baggage with a OW you don't it is all new and exciting !! No bills, kids nothing just the enjoyment of the two if you and there is no commitment either!! MM can come and go and know you will give them a booty call when needed!! I personally wouldn't feel good about myself !! I would think i would deserve more!! If this is enough with you and you are ok with it then go for it!! I bet he will never leave her if he has told you would and has yet to do it!! Look at the Joey Budafoko story did he admit the affair after what happen? He denied it and played that young girl !! Look what she did and she went to prison trying to kill his wife !! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 B Been pondering whether I should tell his wife about our affair too. Hello audrie. What's the idea about telling his W..? Just to get back at him? What happens most times when the W finds out is that the MM ditches the OW and blames her for everything. So if you decide to tell, be aware that that may happen. Best of luck. And yes, you do deserve better than someone who lies and strings you along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrie Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 Hello audrie. What's the idea about telling his W..? Just to get back at him? What happens most times when the W finds out is that the MM ditches the OW and blames her for everything. So if you decide to tell, be aware that that may happen. Best of luck. And yes, you do deserve better than someone who lies and strings you along. Yeah you are right. I want to tell the wife just to get back to him. And i will tell her at the time when I turn my back against him. I suppose I am just being selfish and want her to suffer emotionally as much as i suffered Link to post Share on other sites
damwinston Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 No, you want to make him suffer - not her. Don't try and hurt her anymore than he already does. She will learn what an a**h*** he is if she does not already know. dammy Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 "I suposse I am just wanting to be selfish, and want her to suffer emotionally." You became "selfish" when you enterted into the relationhip with a married man. I'm sure you're aware of that, I mean no disrespect, but the best thing to do is let the whole situation go. Let him stay with his wife because chances are he will not leave, and you always play second fiddle to her. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrie Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 We are in Not Talking ("NT") Stage now. No more phone call, no email whatsoever. I am coping pretty well, I dont cry over him anymore but I do feel the anger. Before this, he said he feel trapped living with his wife but he has to pretend to be happy with her because of his young daughter. I just want the wife find out that he has other woman and if he decides to blame everything on me, Fine, because i am ready to walk away. But at least she knows whats an a**h*** he is and I am happy that I may ""ruin" his life the way he ruined my peaceful life before he entered into my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted December 24, 2005 Share Posted December 24, 2005 Audrie, I fully understand how you feel. I am wondering... if he really did try to end his M, then perhaps he wasn't lying so much? Is he staying with her because he can't make a decision, or he was just testing the water or something bad enough, but not setting out cold-bloodedly to deceive you? If he really misled you and had NO intention of ever leaving... then why not tell her? Perhaps she does need to know what kind of man she's married to. Maybe he does deserve a kick up the a**. Never mind the people telling you you've been 'selfish' for getting involved with him. A relationship is between two people. If one of those is lying or mis-representing themselves or their situation, then it's THEM being selfish, not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrie Posted December 25, 2005 Author Share Posted December 25, 2005 Sami He said he stays in his marriage for the sake of his idaughter. I broke the NC today by answering his message I was very hostile to him today and he told me he wont be bothering me anymore as he knows which path that I want him to choose. He told me he wish i will go halfway. Sammy, do u mind to add me your buddy? i read your thread about your MM and it is very similar to me. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 He told me he wish i will go halfway. what does that mean? no tongue? I can't figure out why you're torn. You clearly need to find someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author audrie Posted December 26, 2005 Author Share Posted December 26, 2005 He wish I will be happy to be unofficial second wife. I will probably do it if I dont have my reputation to be protected. Thats why i am torn. Sometimes I want to do it and sometimes i think i have too much in stake to sacrifice and he is not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
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