It is a complete nonsense

[ww]

Dear OWs.

 

It is such nonsense waste your time on MM. It is so useless crying over someone that does not give a s*** for you.

I wish all of you could stop suffering and open your hearts to someone who is maybe out there and adores you.

 

Good Luck to all of you

WW

[TUDOR]

Dear OWs.

 

It is such nonsense waste your time on MM. It is so useless crying over someone that does not give a s*** for you.

I wish all of you could stop suffering and open your hearts to someone who is maybe out there and adores you.

 

Good Luck to all of you

WW

 

Does this mean you are leaving us WW?

[ww]

no. i am checking from time to time posts here.

it simply means I found my happiness.

And I really wish the rest of you could do so. Life is so beautiful after all

[TUDOR]

no. i am checking from time to time posts here.

it simply means I found my happiness.

And I really wish the rest of you could do so. Life is so beautiful after all

 

Good for you WW.

[whichwayisup]

Well, good luck WW and I'm glad you're happier now.

 

Sadly, I think any words of putting off women who get involved (aussie-mandy in particular right now) with MM isn't going to happen. People will make mistakes, even if they are warned...It seems even if warned of the pain and outcome of the situation isn't going to stop many from doing it anyway. Because "their" situation is different and "special." Some have to learn the hard way.

[goingforgold]

whichwayisup - what u said is all so true.

 

Love is all about or should i say life is all about taking risks. Love might be a mistake with a MM but its worth taking.

 

He may just be the one(even though the chance of it working out may be so small) I will learn and grow from the experience either way.

 

I dont want to live life with all the what if he's not for me? what if i get hurt? what if what if?

[whichwayisup]

whichwayisup - what u said is all so true.

 

Love is all about or should i say life is all about taking risks. Love might be a mistake with a MM but its worth taking.

 

He may just be the one(even though the chance of it working out may be so small) I will learn and grow from the experience either way.

 

I dont want to live life with all the what if he's not for me? what if i get hurt? what if what if?

 

MANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS NOT YOUR MAN UP FOR GRABS!!!!!! HE HAS A WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

It isn't worth gaining an experience with this man. For so many reasons! I am not going to say it all again, i feel like I'm smacking my head against a brick wall!

 

All I will say now is - Maybe in 6 months or a year we'll be seeing you posting about your broken heart, filled with SO much regret.

 

I'm absolutely SHOCKED that your parents have not said ONE word to you about this MM. WHO is your dentist. WTF is that?

 

Mandy, I'm frustrated and you don't get it at all...You don't and refuse to see the whole picture here...You're so caught up in the damn connection and fantasy to see what is the right thing to do.

 

DO you know HOW MANY single men are out there?? All this means is you've not met the right one for you. THough, in your mind, this DENTIST/MM is it. He isn't.

 

I dont want to live life with all the what if he's not for me? what if i get hurt? what if what if?

 

Selfishly!

 

What about HIS WIFE...HIS CHILDREN. Is your happiness and experimentation worth THEIR pain? DO you want a willing partner in ruining a family? And probably have a hand in him losing his practice? IS it worth it Mandy? Do you have a conscious about what you're about to do? HE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. HE WILL NEVER leave his WIFE. DO you get that yet! Sorry, I don't mean to yell, it's just right now you have so much control - To say no...You don't know it though. Nor do you want to.

 

OK, rant done.

[goingforgold]

whichwayisup - I get the whole "he's not up for grabs" BUT I am not the one chasing him here, he is the one coming over, fair enough, i asked him over, he is a grown mature man that can make choices for himself, he could've said "no" if he thought he was getting involved in a sticky situation.

 

Besides, he isnt happy at home or else he wouldn't be looking at me. If he was so loyal to his marriage, no matter what i do or say, it shouldnt change the fact that he should be happily married and loyal to his wife and marriage. But he's not. So he is making himself up for grabs.

 

I just want to tell u something as well - there is a lady i run my business with and her current husband cheated on his then wife to be with her, they snuck around for 3 years and he eventually left his then wife and married this lady i run my business with.

 

They have 3 kids together and a few months ago celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary.

 

They both dont agree with cheating but they were just meant to be together, if they never took that chance they would never have the life they have today.

[goingforgold]

I dont want him to leave his wife for me, i just want some harmless fun with the guy, if it turns into something more thats great if not thats great also.

 

I never miss an opportunity to have a good time!! Even if he's married.

 

He has made the decision to cheat NOT me.

 

whichwayisup - ur going on about how bad i am for making the decision to pursue him, but what about him?? He's the married one REMEMBER?

[whichwayisup]

whichwayisup - I get the whole "he's not up for grabs" BUT I am not the one chasing him here, he is the one coming over, fair enough, i asked him over, he is a grown mature man that can make choices for himself, he could've said "no" if he thought he was getting involved in a sticky situation.

YOU CAN SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what if he is the one chasing you. Don't play into his game. Don't just blame him for this, you are allowing it to happen. Trust me, if a man flirts and you want NO part in it, all you have to do is react and set boundries up SO IT WILL NOT happen again. You're allowing him COMPLETE control here and that is scary! DO you know why? Because you've shown him you're a pushover and will do what he wants...He can manipulate you and have his way with you! I'm not only talking about sex. I'm talking power trip.

 

Besides, he isnt happy at home or else he wouldn't be looking at me. If he was so loyal to his marriage, no matter what i do or say, it shouldnt change the fact that he should be happily married and loyal to his wife and marriage. But he's not. So he is making himself up for grabs.

 

OH MY GOD. DO you know how messed up that sounds...Sadly, you believe it. Again, YOU have the power to say NO! NO - You are a married man with children. I respect myself wayyyy too much to be with you. And to cause pain wife/kids. See my point? Yet...? ...

 

I just want to tell u something as well - there is a lady i run my business with and her current husband cheated on his then wife to be with her, they snuck around for 3 years and he eventually left his then wife and married this lady i run my business with.

 

Good for them. That has no bearing on your situation...All that does is give you a false hope.

 

They have 3 kids together and a few months ago celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary.

 

They both dont agree with cheating but they were just meant to be together, if they never took that chance they would never have the life they have today.

 

I can't put down my thoughts on that right now...Better left unsaid...

 

All I know is, if two people meet up and feel they are the "one" but each are married...DO end the marriages and THEN get together. Don't go about it behind the backs of the spouses. Though, most will never do that because there is no safety net to fall back into when the cheaters break up.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[whichwayisup]

whichwayisup - ur going on about how bad i am for making the decision to pursue him, but what about him?? He's the married one REMEMBER?

 

He's a s*** for even trying it on you. You are not a bad person...You're just about to make a very bad mistake, a bad choice in life...With many bad and painful consquences. You couldn't give a crap about the wife and the kids...All you want is some fun and screw everybody else...Right??? think about it.

 

Question...WHAT have your parents said about this situation Mandy? I would really like to know. Are they happy their daughter is about to make a horrible mistake?

[goingforgold]

Thanks for your input whichwayisup - i know you're trying to help but i am a bit thick and like to live life dangerously and learn the hard way...its just me.

 

About my parents, funny u mention it, the very first time i ever saw that particular dentist my Mum came with me for support, and when we came out of there she looked at me and said "he has the hots for you big time"

 

Not something my mum says often.......

 

I havent told her i like him, and she has never said anything more, apart from he is a nice person who is trying all he can to help, and he would make a good friend and support person for me.

[goingforgold]

She also gives me time alone with him, like when i had to go on the sunday to have my teeth fixed, she waited in the car for him, despite me asking her to come in and the dentist also asked if she wanted to come in....and last night she nudged my dad and said let them to be alone to chat with what they want.

[whichwayisup]

So, both of your parents are CHOOSING not to really see what their daughter is doing. Just like you are choosing to pursue and allow his advances towards you.

 

Mandy, you're on the rollercoaster now so enjoy the ride while it's on the up and up. Can guarantee you one thing...The down won't be as exciting as the up. I think many others will agree with me.

 

Another question. Have you read other posts by OW? Really read them. I don't believe that you fully understand the conquences of what the fallout will be.

 

You said it, not me..."i am a bit thick and like to live life dangerously and learn the hard way...its just me."

 

Good luck and enjoy the ride while it lasts. Me saying that IS NOT encouraging you to act upon your feelings...Obviously you are going to do what you're gonna do with this MM no matter what anybody else says to discourage you. I'm getting tired of banging my head against the wall...Time for a smoke break...

[goingforgold]

My parents have always been oblivious as to what i do, they always say "no matter what we say, you're going to do it anway"

 

It will be a rollercoaster late, when i have finished with him hopefully we can end it mutually if not, maybe we can continue having sex together whenever we find time.

[Enema]

GL, I just hope the family you have an equal part in ruining pulls through ok.

 

3 kids exposed to a cheating father and his mistress: You're helping to perpetuate a whole new generation of cheating men and women that cheat with them.

 

You can say all you want that it's his choice, his decision, but it is equally yours. Whatever happens is half your fault.

[Art_Critic]

3 kids exposed to a cheating father and his mistress: You're helping to perpetuate a whole new generation of cheating men and women that cheat with them.

 

I don't agree with this... Just because the father cheats doesn't mean the kids will cheat..

 

My dad was a serial cheater.. he cheated on his mistress's .. but I would NEVER cheat and neither would any of my siblings..

[Enema]

Did I say ALL kids exposed to this will also become cheaters?

 

However, it without a shadow of a doubt increases the chance that they will end up this way.

 

I'm glad you didn't and congrats on that, but you are the minority.

[whichwayisup]

That expression "Do as I say, not as I do" comes into play here...

 

A_C is right. That doesn't mean those kids will become what their father is. More than likely they will resent him and also resent their mother for putting up with it for so many years..Not walking away from his crap and cheating. Either way...It's really sad.

 

Mandy. I can't do this anymore tonight...I'm glad you're thanking me for my efforts to help you, but to tell you the truth it's exhausting! I am wasting my energy on someone who really doesn't care about what pain they will cause others due to their selfishness. You are so caught up in pleasing yourself and letting your heart rule you, you have NO clue what is around the corner...

 

With that being said...That man will turn around and BLAME YOU for when it falls apart. When his wife finds out and he more than likely will lose his practice. The wife could come after you too. Yes, I'm trying to scare you and I hope it is working.

 

I don't know how old you are but one day you will regret your actions.

[Art_Critic]

That doesn't mean those kids will become what their father is. More than likely they will resent him and also resent their mother for putting up with it for so many years

 

absolutly.. one of the things that rings true in my head is the amount of pain that one man caused so many people.. 2 moms, several mistress, 6 kids and his friends..

The kids don't want to repeat the cycle..

 

If anything a cheater raises children that have a distaste for dishonesty and cheating..

[whichwayisup]

I agree. I think most of us normally pick out the bad faults in our parents and try our best NOT to be like them. That doesn't always have to mean one parent cheated...Could be just about anything. I mean, I love my mom, but she has some very annoying traits and sadly for me, I SEE afew of them in myself!! But I try my damn hardest never to let that show or let it rule my emotions. lol.

[Enema]

Ok, after speaking with someone in my workplace that also has been through this situation and agrees with you two that being exposed to such pain caused by adultery raises children to resent that parent and do their utmost not to follow in their footsteps I'm going to have to change my views on that.

 

Learn something new everyday I guess

 

Here's an interesting article that speaks of the effects of Adultery on children, do you think it has any semblance of truth?

 

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_lesson.html

[Art_Critic]

"These experiences were only the beginning for Julie. In the months to come mom and dad would unknowingly teach Julie more lessons about life. "

 

Is so true..

 

My feeling though is that what the child learns has a lot to do with the age of the child..

 

Ie: in the marriage builders sight one of the lessons learned is how to lie.

I think that only holds true with young kids.. whose morals are not all

formed yet so they are more impressionable.. but with older kids or teenagers , they have their morals set and are not as impressionable.

 

 

With me.. my father cheated thru my whole life.. when I became a teenager I was able to see him for what he was.. In fact I gave him up to my step mother at 15 years old..

 

I will say that I don't feel I was ever subjected to his cheating at a younger age.. Even thoough he was doing it. my mother protected me from it till I was about 12/13

[erika2610]

whichwayisup - what u said is all so true.

 

Love is all about or should i say life is all about taking risks. Love might be a mistake with a MM but its worth taking.

 

He may just be the one(even though the chance of it working out may be so small) I will learn and grow from the experience either way.

 

I dont want to live life with all the what if he's not for me? what if i get hurt? what if what if?

 

I'm sorry, I wasn't gonna reply and try to warn you anymore, but I just can't help it. IT'S NOT LOVE! It's him looking for a piece of meat on the side. And it's not completely harmless fun.. you're hurting his family! Not to mention what if she finds out? My ex-MM's W found out.. I had close to $1000 worth of damage done to my key.. it was keyed from front to back, and the windshield ruined. Honestly.. you're 22 years old. You know better. We're all here trying to warn you about how hurt you're going to get. It's not worth it. He's not the one for you! I'm sure that's what his wife thinks. That's he's the one for her. Go out & find a decent single man. It's ridiculous to me that you're bragging about trying to nab a single man. That on another thread, you're giving the play by play of your visits. And nobody saying he's innocent, obviously.. but you can choose not to get sucked in. I was with my MM for over a year.. and he chased me for a year before that. When we broke up, I felt like my heart had been ripped out and thrown on the floor and stomped on. It was HORRIBLE. But ya know what the worst part was? Looking back on it and realizing what a fool I was to believe it all. No matter what he tells you, it's a lie. MM are masters when it comes to lying. That's all they do. And Whichwayisup is right.. when the W finds out, he'll blame you and then never speak to you again. It'll be all your fault, you lured him in. I wish you would rethink this all. Keep your self respect in tact and just walk away. Don't you think you're worth more than a MM?

[newbby]

mandy, i am not thinking of the things the others are talking about here. what im thinking of is alot simpler and easier to grasp. not that i think youre thick, i dont, but the whole family thing doesnt work really, i know. because you are correct, it is he who is choosing to cheat on his family.

what i am talking about is, that awful sinking feeling you get when you realise you have been used for sex, that, feeling that you have given yourself away too easily.