My MW is my boss's daughter, need advice...Badly...

[Phily]

Hi

 

I am 27 and have been romantically involved with a 30yo MW with whom I work with. We've had a pretty hot and heavy relationship for the last 6 months, but because of "family" reasons she cannot leave her husband at this time. I love this woman very much but I want to date other women because I don't want to waste my time with her only to find out she'll never leave him.

 

The problem is that we work VERY close and she is my boss's daughter which makes this whole situation ten times worse. I love my job as well but I think I'll just be too uncomfortable working with her... I know that I probably deserve anything that I have coming to me but I just wanted to see if anyone had any advice for me.

 

Thanks much!

[Art_Critic]

Boy .. You talk about commiting suicide on the biblical proportion.

 

I see that you really have more than one problem .

 

The first problem and how you handle it will make your second problem better or worse.

 

You need to let her go ..

 

Hopefully at this time she will just let things lie and won't mess with YOUR INCOME.

 

If she wasn't the bosses daughter then I would give you a little different advice. but she needs to deal with her failing marriage and you need to stay out of it .. for more than one reason.. You are employed by HER FATHER

 

Worry about your job .. Not a piece of pus*y .

 

End it.. YOUR INCOME IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN THIS CASE

[johan]

This is what I call a "learning experience". I can't see you getting out of this one pain free unless you find a different job before you break things off with her. Otherwise there are about 10 different ways this one could sting you:

 

Husband finds out.

Father finds out.

You get pounded by one or both.

You get fired.

You find it hard to get another job, because a lot of companies automatically check with your last employer for a reference.

You break up a marriage.

You hurt a family.

You hurt your reputation.

You live with the guilt when you find out her husband is maybe not such a bad guy.

You don't get her in the end.

You find out she wasn't even worth it, because once a cheater, always a cheater.

You realize that no matter what you do for the rest of your life, you've branded yourself an adulterer and revealed a weakness in your character.

 

Guess that's 12. The last five happened to me. Except I didn't want to have a relationship with her, and that made it even less worth it. I lost respect for her though.

 

Cheating married women bring back all my bitter cynicism.

[Phily]

Thanks Art_Critic! I totally appreciate your advice! I know that she won't create problems for me leaving, I think that she would be just as nervous as I am fearing getting caught... I guess I just have to suck it up...

[Phily]

We were very good friends for years before we began anything... What do I do about that?

[bluechocolate]

The problem is that we work VERY close and she is my boss's daughter which makes this whole situation ten times worse.

 

Guess it wouldn't make much difference now to say, "DON'T GO THERE!!". An affair with a married woman at work is bad enough, but the bosses daughter!

 

You have to end it and if I were you I would start looking for another job as an insurance policy.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Your friendship was over the second it took a step further.

 

Your very best bet is to dust off your resume and start looking for another job. Hopefully you can find one, force yourself to go 'no contact' with this MW and move forward with your life.

 

If you stay - be forewarned... there is no happy ending to this, and it will end very, very badly. That is a guarantee.

 

You know where the emergency exit is, and you know what you need to do to get out. The choice to stay in the burning building, or leave it is entirely up to you.

[Phily]

Thanks. You know, in the back of my head I saw this coming the first day we stepped over that line. I just didn't heed to my own intuitions. It's just that I would hate to not have her in my life.

[RecordProducer]

How things will develop in the fiture doesn't only depend on what you do but also what you say.

 

If you tell her that you dearly love her, but for her own sake want to let her solve her problems without external interference that only complicates her situation additionally, you will sound compassionate rather than selfish.

 

Let her know that you will always be her friend, but you're not equal in this relationship as she is committed to another person while you are single. It's not fair to you that you spend years waiting for her to leave her husband with no clue if she is going to. .

 

Don't bring other girls in front of her face until she is over you. The uncomfortable situation won't last forever anyway. Time cures everything. Hopefully in a year or two you can be friends with no romantic feelings for each other and everything will go back to normal.

[Art_Critic]

It's just that I would hate to not have her in my life.

 

 

She isn't really in your life now .. At least not in the proper way. and most likely never will be.

 

you allowed this women to affect your whole life including your income.

 

Try to stop thinking like this..If you do you won't have any trouble moving on.

[HokeyReligions]

Hi

 

I love this woman very much but I want to date other women because I don't want to waste my time with her only to find out she'll never leave him.

 

 

I don't think you will have any problem getting over her. Focus on finding a new job and then NC will be easy.