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I did it...i ended it


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 8th February 2018, 4:15 PM   #16
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Well I was feeling ok, it seems he is working in my area today. Not his choice, they assign him . I am taking my lunch in my break room, he comes in with his lunch. I ignore him. He throws his lunch in fridge, storms back out and slams the door. He's not a angry person. Very in control of himself normally. What is he mad about. He has been hinting for is to break up for weeks. Maybe I didn't respond the way he wants. Maybe I look ok and I'm not crying and falling apart like he expected. Like the other times we broke up. Maybe I didn't beg ....i was feeling ok until I saw him. Was feeling strong.
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Old 8th February 2018, 4:30 PM   #17
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I have been lurking in this forum for months now. I was in an EA with a man I work with for 3 years. 11 mos ago it became a PA. I was in a 23 year relationship with my children's father at the time. He is married 19 yrs. My relationship was very unhealthy. A history of physical and emotional abuse. He found out about the A right after it started by checking phone records.

<snip>

He goes to do things with his family and tells me he can't bring himself to sit with her at movies or on outing because he is wishing it was me. I try to tell him he is only making it worse and he has to try to enjoy his family time . I'm so confused and have constant anxiety wondering every day if this will be the day that he tells me it's over. I don't k ow why I'm posting here. I just need to vent I guess.

This post explains a lot. How old are his children? I wish you luck and strength to continue on with NC.
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Old 8th February 2018, 6:23 PM   #18
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This post explains a lot. How old are his children? I wish you luck and strength to continue on with NC.
His children at home are 16, 10, and 7...he has an adult child also. He worships the ground his children walk on. He is a good father.

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Old 8th February 2018, 6:24 PM   #19
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He has walked by my machine a few times, I am a machine operator. He put his head down and did not look my way. I wish he wasn't working in my area. It's making it more difficult. We used to love the times they would call him over here so he could come see me.
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Old 8th February 2018, 6:31 PM   #20
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Yea, I'm sorry Lehcar, working with him is going to take a huge about of strength and determination on your part to keep NC.

I'm hoping you will stick to it though because you'll be better off moving on.
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Old 8th February 2018, 6:35 PM   #21
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Are there any other machine shops in the area where you can work?? Maybe next town over??

Personally, I'd hate to be in a hostile work environment.
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:50 PM   #22
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Are there any other machine shops in the area where you can work?? Maybe next town over??

Personally, I'd hate to be in a hostile work environment.
Him working over here is a rare occasion. He is a mechanic, and they are short 2 mechanic today which is why he's over here. It hasn't happened in months and I'm sure it won't again for months.
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:53 PM   #23
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Him working over here is a rare occasion. He is a mechanic, and they are short 2 mechanic today which is why he's over here. It hasn't happened in months and I'm sure it won't again for months.
Oh... OK, sounds like you can get through the day.
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Old 8th February 2018, 8:01 PM   #24
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Oh... OK, sounds like you can get through the day.
2 more hours..almost there.
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Old 8th February 2018, 8:05 PM   #25
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Seriously? Come on. You’re a smart woman. Stop lying to yourself.

So, I guess you haven’t blocked his texts. You need to do that.

Your mindset should be that of a person in a war. He is going to do everything in his power to keep you on his hook, and you need to do everything in your power to escape. His first moves will be to put on a full court press, texting you, calling you, “accidentally” bumping into you, following you, etc. If that doesn’t work, he’ll do a 180 and give you the cold shoulder, ignoring you and going no contact. Often times this will be coupled with an attempt to make you jealous. Perhaps he’ll flirt with another woman in front of you. Typically this strategy is more effective than the initial full court press.

If you know and recognize what he is doing in advance, you’ll be much better equipped to counter it.
We both agreed long ago if and when it ends we will not date other people at work or flirt in front of each other. He wouldn't want to play that game with me. He will start a war. And I have lots of ways to turn his life upside down. I would never do that unless he decides he wants to fight dirty.
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Old 8th February 2018, 8:08 PM   #26
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It might help you to read over your other posts on LS and write down his words/actions/behaviors that hurt you. I did this because I would think about the good times which would make me want to break no contact. When I felt that way, I read my posts here and read how I was treated. It worked to keep me focused on why the relationship needed to end. You can also rationalize a reason to break NC. Reliving the hurt and pain you experienced will reinforce NC.
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Old 8th February 2018, 10:36 PM   #27
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Today was difficult. As soon as I got in my car after work I broke down and cried the whole way home. I had to hold my emotions in the whole day and try to look happens I had to see him the whole day walking around like he didn't have a care in the world.
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:39 PM   #28
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His children at home are 16, 10, and 7...he has an adult child also. He worships the ground his children walk on. He is a good father.
In your first post you said that he spends every moment outside of work with you and only goes home to sleep. How is that a good father?
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Old 9th February 2018, 1:00 AM   #29
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No I said he did before. Then the guilt started eating at him and he started going home earlier and seeing me less. The guilt and missing his kids was killing him. And I understand that. And hence me accepting less and less because he has been spending more time at home.
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Old 9th February 2018, 2:55 AM   #30
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I finally ended it today. I have not talked to him or texted him in 5 hours. It seems like a lifetime. This is not easy. I just got home from work, it's a miracle I was able to make it through the day . Felt like I was gonna pass out as soon as I sent the break up text. No I just got home and this is the really hard part. Being in my room, in my apartment, where we spend most of our time. It smells like him, his clothes are here , his towel, toothbrush, toothpaste...so many reminders. So many memories. I am devastated but in a strange way I feel a sense of relief. I can't continue to accept less and less and less . I can't be the only one putting in effort.
Throw his things out! Those reminders will never help you get past this.

Put new scents around the place - light new candles or burn incense. Burn sage too, to cleanse the energy/space and to start anew!

I notice you haven't answered at all when folks asked if you blocked all ways he can contact you - so it's safe to assume you haven't... do that for your own sanity...and for faster healing.

Stay strong. Stay busy. Stay distracted.
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