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A shock


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 9th January 2018, 8:11 AM   #16
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Oh Poppy, that must have been such a shock to you.
The other day I had a similar experience: For about 1/2 a second I thought I saw xMM walking near the train station where I live! I realized very quickly that it wasn't him but it was something about the way the man walked (he didn't look alike or anything).

I also don't think he'll really come to see me now that I've moved but I suppose you never know........ Ugh it's hard isn't it!!! I hope you're feeling so much better by now
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Old 9th January 2018, 3:39 PM   #17
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I am glad to hear that you are feeling better, Poppy, grrrr how frustrating an experience it must have been!

How comforting it must be to know, that he is very far away and therefore not able to be in your presence.

I remember 1 year ago, when EXMM just broke up with me, I used to see him EVERYWHERE - I felt absolutely mad.
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Old 13th January 2018, 12:28 AM   #18
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I know this exact feeling. Some time ago, xMM actually did show up in a parking lot, waiting for me to come to my car. I thought my heart would pound out of my chest and my stomach would fall out. There have been other near misses and we live in quite a large area.

Maybe this was a good nudge to get you to prepare yourself in case you ever did see him...to have your reaction planned, so you donít say or do anything you end up regretting.

I wish I had done that myself, because I was so not prepared when he showed up that day.

Isnít it weird how our bodyís react? What in the world has happened to us??
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Old 7th February 2018, 5:54 PM   #19
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Late to this thread but this still happens to me...5 years later...more often than I would like to admit. It’s like my brain (heart?!) searches for xMM. That sounds pretty obnoxious and ridiculous but it is the only way I can describe it. It is obviously not my preference because, like you, my physiological reaction is just as uncomfortable as my cheesy description of the phenomenon! Considering becoming a shut-in to avoid such non-encounters in the future.

Last edited by inappfriendly; 7th February 2018 at 5:58 PM..
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:54 AM   #20
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It is comforting to hear that somebody else experiences this.

I look at crowds of people and see his head, his tshirt, his body. It causes me a sharp pain each time I see a hint of him. I am complete NC but the memories of him are burnt indelibly into my brain.

I wish it weren't so but hoping it will go away eventually.

Poppy.
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Old 8th February 2018, 3:16 AM   #21
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I thought this Ted talk is quite helpful.

https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_...a_broken_heart
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Old 8th February 2018, 3:19 PM   #22
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well poppy, since i see mine** almost everyday, i hear ya. i shake. now days when i'm alone with him before everyone arrives, i wear headphones, take off my glasses(blind as a bat without them) and as much as i can, ignore him. which is not possible since our work stations face each other. he treats me like **** and any mistake i make on work that goes to him, he announces, in a loud voice full of contempt. which i don't understand since it's been over for years???



all i can add is a line from a very old book..."nothing is worse than to pass your dead lover in the street and know he's still breathing."


**no, neither one of us is married or were married during the affair.
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Old 22nd February 2018, 3:48 PM   #23
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poppy

omg, he got fired!!

not sure how i feel. as an employee, i'm going to miss how good he was at his job. as an ex lover....

five years we were lovers, five years ago. ten years.

ten years and it's o.v.e.r.


amen, the end.

p.s. i have been driving myself crazy trying to think of what to say in a text that i'm going to send him..


wtf?? he's treated me like crap since i called it off. and i mean, crap, in front of everyone and i'm trying to think of a way to start talking to him again???

after five years??s

thanks for listening poppy. i know you understand.

e.n.
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