Louis7 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 hi ive been seeing a man who does not communicate with me i get the odd text off him does not matter how many times i text him he wont reply to me he was engaged at one time he not mentioned it in a long time i been seeing him a year now i do try with ive had enough now and tell him this but i get texts than saying been busy or poorly only time he will text me why dont he just let me go its obviously im not a priority in his life i do think hes still engaged if he is why still want to see me and when i try end it hes constantly texting again i saw him yesterday we did have sex and chatted and he went and not text me since ive sent him 4 texts between last night and today still nothing back from him hes promised help do stuff for me new house i have can i have some info whats going on i have severe anxiety too Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 So, is the man in question single or involved with someone else? That has bearing on where you would be seeking help here. This forum is for persons involved with a committed partner, usually married people. Is he married? In general, much in the same way the vast majority of MW's I've been around in my life have prefered all the talk, talk, emotional sharing and intimacy and will certainly take it without having sex (sex would certainly indicate an affair), married/LTR men, again in general, enjoy affairs for the sex and if they can get it without all the talk, talk, emotional intimacy stuff that's how they roll. Since you're having sex with this guy, he's getting what he wants and if you still have sex with him with little to no other communication or intimacy, that reinforces his pattern. If you cut him off, what do you risk? Basically him not wanting to have sex with you. Little else, presuming he's not keeping you as a mistress and supporting your lifestyle. That's a lesson I learned over decades of experience with MW's. Humans are plentiful and interchangeable. Cruel reality. Welcome to LS ..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louis7 Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 yes hes engaged just lying to me saying hes not anymore using seeing his kids as excuse i think he promised help decorate my house bought bed for me he lives with male best friend been engaged for 4 years now has no home hisself i do though i tried say im ending this as this not fair on me i deserve better but he soon texts when i say stuff like that but if i send a normal wanting talk to him he literally wont answer me why is he doing this Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 (edited) why dont he just let me go its obviously im not a priority in his life i saw him yesterday we did have sex and chatted and he went and not text me since ive sent him 4 texts between last night and today still nothing back from him You are a priority BUT ONLY when he wants sex, attention and an ego boost. Of course he's not going to let you go. Why let go of an easy thing? Once he gets it, he's done with you. When he wants more sex and attention he picks you back up. He has no investment in your for anything else. You can't be that blind to not see the reality of your situation with him. Edited January 5, 2018 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louis7 Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 You are a priority BUT ONLY when he wants sex, attention and an ego boost. Of course he's not going to let you go. Why let go of an easy thing? Once he gets it, he's done with you. When he wants more sex and attention he picks you back up. He has no investment in your for anything else. You can't be that blind to not see the reality of your situation with him. he really hurts i do love the guy he even told me he loves me now i got hospital tomorrow too i thought he least text me i just dont know what to do Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 he really hurts i do love the guy he even told me he loves me now i got hospital tomorrow too i thought he least text me i just dont know what to do People show you love through action, NOT words. You have a man that is in and out of your life, is a liar, does not communicate with you, isn't supportive, extends very little in terms of genuine love and care -- so what do you love about him? Toxic dependence and attachment isn't love. You need to figure out why you love someone that treats you badly. Chances are you don't love him -- you're just desperate to be loved. What to do? You need to end it with him -- block him and consider this dead. You're not going to get anything from this man except pain. He does not love you. He loves what he can get from you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Carhill's explanation was unfortunately most likely the truth. Your guy gives you the smallest amount of attention possible to keep you available to him for sex, including promising to "help" you with things (although he never quits get around to it). He doesn't want anything more or he would be giving you more. As long as you are available to him for easy sex he has no reason to change. And if you stop the sex you will likely see him disappear completely. Test that theory for yourself. Most of us women have a hard time understanding that because we don't usually purposely get involved in sex only relationships, we develop feelings. Most men can easily separate sex and emotion. Just read the hundreds of stories on this site. Use them to help you see the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Im not trying to sound rude. but why are you waiting for him to end it? you should walk away even it will be hard. you seem very unhappy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamwalker17 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 It’s not a ”communication problem”. And the real question here is not why is he not letting you go, but why are you holding on to him? He can’t be bothered even to text with you unless he knows he’s going to get laid. And you rewarding him for poor behavior by having sex wirh him. He is not going to end it because he got all the benefits of the relationship with none of the responsibilities. But you - what are you getting out if it? Please don’t try to fix this “communication problem”. Stop communicating with him altogether, he is using you and is not worth your time. Best wishes, D. Link to post Share on other sites
IReallyLovePuppies Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 he really hurts i do love the guy he even told me he loves me now i got hospital tomorrow too i thought he least text me i just dont know what to do First of all.. I failed to see the reason why you will not know what to do. He didn't make you happy.. He doesn't priorities you in his life and.. Did I read it wrong but you are the other woman in his life.? Why are you even wasting your time? Do you want a proper relationship with someone or are you happy to be the bench warmer? As many have written.. You'll get a text from him when he wants sex or when he's worried you've smarten up, otherwise.. You are not important to him at all. Respect yourself and end this BS. I do not understand why girls will put themselves in situation like you have and wonder why you are not happy.. Quick advise.. girls tell guys they love them to keep the guys in their lives.. Guys tell girls they love them to keep getting into their pants. He's playing you. Link to post Share on other sites
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