LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > The Other Man / Woman

Affair with cop and abusive


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

Like Tree28Likes
Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 27th December 2017, 10:09 AM   #16
Established Member
 
wmacbride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 3,188
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn83 View Post
Basically I wanted to share a story of how an affair was a nightmare. Do I condone or denounce affairs? No. Personally I would like a swinger lifestyle. I think it is ok to sleep with other people.

Unfortunately swingers tend to be pervs and serial cheaters tend to be abusive or mentally ill.

As a person who suffers from depression, and I have seen his pills, we frequently discuss our long list of past prescriptions, I tend to be more sympathetic. I know how hard struggling with mental health can be. I even got him to see a very good doctor for it that mine recommended. So....this thing is very complicated and not black and white.
You sound very angry at the world and also like you are blaming everyone else for your choices. You also sound like you have no problem visiting your issues on others.

I've read many posts by other woman and men who contact the betrayed spouse, but they usually don't do it out of malice...they derive no pleasure from the idea that he or she could be hurt. Quite frankly, I think that pleases you to think of her being hurt . You enjoy all the drama and feed off of it, then when it all blows up in your face, you blame everyone else and use depression or whatever as an excuse. You don't care who you hurt in the process,so long as you get what you feel you need and are entitled to. You also show zero ability to empathize with her.

I have a now adult daughter who has battled major depressive disorder for a long time, and been able to win ( so far). I've spent countless hours in support groups, attending information sessions about depression and working with the local mental health agency to hep others, and in all that time, I have never, ever heard of someone acting like you, unless there are other personality disorders involved. Depression doesn't make a person act the way you do. I have no idea what is making you act as your are.

I would suggest you find another therapist who can really help you and not just enable your behvaior. It really sounds like you are very unhappy, angry and also frightened, mostly of yourself.
__________________
"You don't have to be invisible to disappear"- R. McNutt
wmacbride is offline  
Old 27th December 2017, 11:28 AM   #17
Established Member
 
Popsicle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 8,166
Iíve always said that married people live in a bubble. They are sort of naive and the longer youíve been married, the more naive you become to the harsh ways of the world. Being unhappily married makes you even more vulnerable and prime for vultures. Thing is he did tell you he was married (although he witheld it for a while). One thing you have to learn now that you are single is that you ALWAYS have to ask on day one if they are married or taken. Most will not tell you if you donít ask. So ask. Better to find out early and cut ties before you become emotionally attached like you did. Once you find out, another thing you have to learn is that MM NEVER leave their wives. Never. Unlike MW do. Women leave their husbands, men do not leave their wives.
Popsicle is offline  
Old 27th December 2017, 11:29 AM   #18
Established Member
 
Popsicle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 8,166
Oh and Iíd love to date a single cop!
Popsicle is offline  
Old 27th December 2017, 11:32 AM   #19
Established Member
 
Popsicle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 8,166
Jenn83, you said in your opening post that you are divorcing your husband. Is that still true or are you backtracking now?
Popsicle is offline  
Old 28th December 2017, 7:37 AM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 57
OP, you mentioned non suicadal self harm as a way to deal with a depression.
Do you have borderline personality disorder?
It could be bipolar too.
You might want to see a psychiatrist. This board is full of wisdom, but you need to see a specialist, those are issues you need help with are way beyond what internet forum can provide.
Best wishes.
Downtown likes this.
Dreamwalker17 is offline  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
emotional affair/abusive husband learning to breathe Separation and Divorce 4 10th September 2015 3:24 PM
Double standard of abusive parents and abusive spouses Maddy Family 7 25th June 2013 9:48 PM
HELP! Emotional Affair, Abusive childhood, depression, ADHD, stone22 The Other Man / Woman 13 2nd March 2009 10:59 AM
People who've had a affair with a woman in a Abusive Marriages Confused4Now The Other Man / Woman 21 3rd October 2008 4:17 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:57 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.