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Over before it really began


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 15th December 2017, 9:18 PM   #16
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NC is like a drug so hard not to break it. for me i had to tell his wife. well he wont talk to me again and we have a son 13mths old. his wife took him back too lol
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Old 16th December 2017, 12:11 AM   #17
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What I have to wonder, Catty, is if you don't tell hubby, and keep this under wraps, what if it happens again? This time potentially a longer affair?

I've read too many posts on here to not be thinking that if it happened once, whats keeping it from happening again? Im sure thats why you posted here- to get if figured out, but if you don't tell hubby, maybe you should look into talking to a therapist? Figure out why you're ok with these actions and thoughts in the first place.. stepping outside your marriage is risking a whole lot for a whole-nothing.
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Old 21st December 2017, 3:15 PM   #18
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Have some pride! Cut him off and do not communicate with him again. Then, since you are so unhappy, get a divorce. Then after you have had some counseling to figure out why you have such a bad man picker, choose more wisely next time.
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Old 21st December 2017, 9:46 PM   #19
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He was working on how to start the affair while he was at a party with his wife and children. Think about it. This is not a good dude. Best to get clear on that and reassess the fantasy.

Fantasies are wonderful distractions from mundane day-to-day life. It's a buzz to feel that chemical attraction. This is all just the neurochemistry of the fantasy at work. In time, it will wear off. Start and maintain NC. Cut all social media ties. You do not owe him an explanation. Each day that passes will make it easier, and one day you will wake up wondering what you were ever thinking and a feeling of relief and gratitude will wash over you.
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Old 21st December 2017, 10:33 PM   #20
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A major problem with so many wayward spouses is the inability to take responsibility for thier actions. OP I noted that you said both you and this guy we're being scumbags I agree as I'm sure your husband and his wife would. Accept that as reality, because being honest is the best way to get to authentic life, Marriage and so on, but it starts with being honest with yourself.

Fizzled out? Yeah, cuz you didn't give it up. Player handbook page 26 no sex move on. However, it's very likely he hasn't put away his fishing pole because your still nibbling.
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