Nik69 Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Hi, I have a boyfriend who ive been with for over 3 years who i care about deeply. We're both 20, i cant be without him but theres no spark(well not for me anyway). I dont know if this is causing my next problem, I lust after someone else. I cant help but lust after this person, i dont know how he feels because little things he does makes me think otherwise that he likes me more then he should. The way he looks at me sometimes it can make me melt. At new year he kissed me on my cheek and held me tight against him as he cuddled me. I cant stop thinking about what could happen between us. It could ruin everything, I dont know what hes thinking and I could never talk to him about it. I cant avoid this person, because its.....my boyfriends Dad! Anyone who can help me? or anyone who has been through this? Nik69 Link to post Share on other sites
curly Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Yikes - you really know how to build up to the big bomb! Is his dad still married to his mom? If so, run, do not walk, away from this entire situation. If not, you still need to consider that this situation has giant problems all over it. If you were to end your relationship with your boyfriend and begin one with his father, do you think that it would go over well? You really need to examine what your feeling. Are you just looking for a more mature partner? You are young - if you're not feeling good in the relationship with your BF, you need to move on. There's lots of guys out there. Especially at your age. In a year, you'll be entering the bar and nightclub scene. Lots of young guys to meet there. Don't settle for a BF that does not give you the spark. But I think the feelings you have for his dad must be put aside. It's kind of creepy if he is trying to flirt with you. He may be attracted to you but would never cross the line to betray his son. If you end your relationship with the BF, and his father contacts you separately, then you can sort that out from there. But I must stress, that if his dad is married, walk away very quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
Nik69 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Hi, Thanks for replying. He is still married to his mum. I am attracted to him, he may be attracted to me, i dont know. I realize nothing could happen between us, just the thought of something happening is so exciting the thrill of it. If anything did happen there would be a lot of trouble. As for my boyfriend there is no physical spark, dont get me wrong he is good looking but doesn't make me go wow! I don't know what to do because I really care for him, i do love him but not in love with him. I feel safe with him. I can't imagine life without him to a certain extent. I've always been attracted to older men. I'm just so confused. Nik69 Link to post Share on other sites
guestww Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 """As for my boyfriend there is no physical spark, dont get me wrong he is good looking but doesn't make me go wow! I don't know what to do because I really care for him, i do love him but not in love with him. I feel safe with him. I can't imagine life without him to a certain extent. I've always been attracted to older men. I'm just so confused.""" This is the main issue right here. You love him, but not inlove with him. People change ALOT from their teens into their early twenties. Maybe it's time to end this relationship and see what else is out there. Don't settle for anybody. If your boyfriend doesn't make your heart flip and you're feeling the way you are, maybe it is time to break up, atleast so you can see how you feel without seeing him daily. Maybe those feelings will come rushing back, or not. But atleast then you'll know how you feel. There's nothing wrong about being attracted to older guys, just stay away from the married ones, especially your boyfriend's father.(that and ofcourse the fact he's married!) Good luck and keep posting! Link to post Share on other sites
Nik69 Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 I know what your saying is right. I just cant get his Dad out of my head. The past couple of days have been awful, the attraction has been stronger then ever. Again, things that he's said to me and the way he looks etc they really get to me. I want to be with him. What can I do when I feel like this? yet I cant leave his son. I get butterflies when I see him. Nik Link to post Share on other sites
Nik69 Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Hi again, I've more or less spent the day with my boyfriends Dad today and other people were around but at times it was just the two of us. We chatted about general things but there was a look between us every now and again, im sure he must want something. I felt like I had electricity running through my body everytime we looked at each other. I cant describe it, it was magical and this happened lots. I even caught him lookin at me a couple of times. With all this happening, surely i cant be imagining it, there was certainly something between us. I dont want to hurt anyone but feelings are involved. I cant eat properly, my stomach is in knots. Hes alot older then me, we're talkin 30 yrs(he doesnt look his age). I find him incredibly attractive. I crave to kiss him and hold him, just be intimate with him. Its tearing me apart, all I want to do is cry because its the worst situation possible. How can I show him I like him without being too obvious? and how can I find out if he likes me without asking? Nik Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 You know what you must do. If you have to end your relastionship with the b/f to stay away from the dad then that is what you must do. You cannot continue this obsession for him. Do you want to be the other woman? He is married. You cannot ask him how he feels about you and you need to stop flirting with him. Stop and walk away... Link to post Share on other sites
Nik69 Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I do think he feels something for me tho. Believe me i'm not obsessed with him, i really care deeply about him and we get on great. I really believe there is something between us. I dont want to split his marriage up, i really dont. I don't wanna break up with my boyfriend either. I just wanna be with him. Why can't life be simple?! i can't walk away, they're like a family to me. If anything happened between us once and it ended they wouldn't have to know. There is definately something there. I just wanna know whats happening between us. Has anyone been through this? Link to post Share on other sites
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