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The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 2nd October 2017, 1:59 PM   #16
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he told me he dont do flings or one night stands and he also said he has lot of heart for me
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Old 2nd October 2017, 2:26 PM   #17
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What a man says means a lot less than what he does. Itís been almost a year, he isnít volunteering any info about his previous serious relationship, he sees you only one day a week, and you arenít meaningfully intertwined in his life.

While thatís clearly not a one night stand, it is an uncommitted relationship, bordering on fling.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 2:33 PM   #18
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sometimes i see him twice weekly he phones me once week too and texts me everyday

i also have said to him if you want to end this than go ahead and lets move on and he says he has no intention of ending what we have
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Old 2nd October 2017, 2:37 PM   #19
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You seem to be happy with everything he is telling you so why are you asking us?
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Old 2nd October 2017, 5:46 PM   #20
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Once, sometimes twice a week visits, one call a week, texts, and the inability to ask basic relationship questions doesnít have all the bells and whistles of a full fledged relationship.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 6:03 PM   #21
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I would never trust him.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 6:05 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shelley72 View Post
sometimes i see him twice weekly he phones me once week too and texts me everyday

i also have said to him if you want to end this than go ahead and lets move on and he says he has no intention of ending what we have
Why would he end it? I mean, he sends you a few texts, keys you for dinner occasionally, stops by twice a week, and gets sex...

Why in the world would he end that? He invests very little, and gets some extra sex...
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Old 2nd October 2017, 6:06 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by shelley72 View Post
he also said he has lot of heart for me
Don't mistake that for "love"...
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Old 4th October 2017, 8:51 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by shelley72 View Post
its just im having doubts maybe i should put different question to what im asking

but if he is married and living with another even though he told me his friends house hes moved to why visit me why want help sort my new home out with furniture and diy etc

surely if hes married she wonder where hes going and notice some spending with him
Girl, you are so like me.
The married man i was with, was so comfortable lying to his wife.
In fact, he spend so much time with me, you can even think that he is single.
The wife may be a plain housewife who spend most of her time at home and when he leaves the house, he can simply says for work purposes or etc.

Last edited by ice3784; 4th October 2017 at 8:53 PM.. Reason: Havent done typing but accidently post
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Old 4th October 2017, 8:54 PM   #25
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Don't mistake that for "love"...
He can say I love you to every woman he met. It just words. He can said that to anyone.
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Old 5th October 2017, 10:12 AM   #26
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Why are you asking us? You know heís a liar and a cheater. But you seem perfectly fine with that, so why are you asking us?
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Old 5th October 2017, 3:36 PM   #27
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Hi shelley72, in your first sentence, it seems you keyed into how other posters noted that he only phones once a week by responding that sometimes he does something more...

In your second sentence, you tell us you have offered him this statement as an "out" and "he says he has no intention of ending what [you two] have."

First and foremost, this response he gave you is a rejection disguised as as something else, like acceptance of you into his romantic life, but only on certain terms. The terms are daily texting, once or twice a week visits (with limitations), and once a week calling. THIS is what he's offering to you, if you want to be in his life.

I fell for it, too, until I examined what such a sentence meant: he had no intention of offering me more than what we had. He had no intention of being denied what he was already getting. That meant those wonderful nights out on the town I had dreamed of were never going to happen; he was never going to spend the night EVER; he couldn't see me in the hospital if I had an emergency; we wouldn't go walking in the park; we wouldn't progress into anything more... and, on top of that, how dare I even fix my mouth to say we couldn't talk or have sex anymore! How dare I! Who did I think I was? Some woman worthy of his actual love and affection that he had previously obligated away to someone else... Please! >note sarcasm here<

This is YOUR MM.

You'll have to search within yourself to determine if you're happy with these terms or if you want to renegotiate. You may have to tear up your verbal contract and walk away from the table with nothing or even less than you came with (like me).

Quote:
Originally Posted by shelley72 View Post
sometimes i see him twice weekly he phones me once week too and texts me everyday

i also have said to him if you want to end this than go ahead and lets move on and he says he has no intention of ending what we have
((((shelley72)))) Hugs to you, because, unfortunately, the above is par for the course. MandoGirl has advised that these examples of his effort are not indicative of a full-fledged relationship. If you are like me, and thus, more unaware than not of what a full-fledged relationship looks like, breadcrumbs of attention from the objects of our affection will seem like a loaf of bread, to be sure.

For me, xMM tied up my phone line during the entirety of our work day EVERY DAY. If I had let him, he would have been in my home every day of the work week, too. None of this meant anything.

He was still leaving me to go home to someone else - someone he was providing for, legally obligated to of his own recognizance, etc.

He was slotting me in when it did NOT infringe upon his REAL life.

I am sorry you are going through this. But I definitely agree with eye of the storm here: you found this site, registered, posted... your basic instincts are screaming at you. You know this situation is not quite right, not what you actually want or need. I believe your query is a fire starting on your path to enlightenment and that... you will be looking for a way to end this in the near future for your own sanity.

Wishing you peace and support on your journey, because this part of the journey is not fun, but it is necessary and in the long run, it is what's best FOR YOU (not him) and is what matters most. (Gosh, that was a run-on sentence...)

Last edited by Vivir; 5th October 2017 at 3:41 PM..
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Old 6th October 2017, 6:15 AM   #28
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Yes you can trust him.....100% ....... to tell you lies.
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