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Fallen to MM


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 29th September 2017, 7:20 AM   #1
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Fallen to MM

This is still related to my old post Rant / Vent / Moving On & how to let a Virgo man know you like him

I know I had been quite obvious - we rarely see each other but we have had several lunches together since, driven me around his neighborhood, talked about our kids, and a lot more, watched video of his son playing in his band, had laughs, asked me of plans whether I'd want to relocate nearer, and so on.

We had a (post-grad) school event and we have had many photos posted at fb together taken by classmates - and I was the obvious one who have fallen, I know.

Can't help it. I find him gorgeous, inside-out.

I have no plan of "destroying" his family. I just feel I love him, I want to grow old with him (yes, that song), and that the butterflies in my stomach have grown to multitude.

I need positive words because I know I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't plotted to anything wrong either.

I only know that I am happy and that's it.
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Old 29th September 2017, 7:25 AM   #2
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And, how does he feel about you?

His wife would argue the thought that you haven't done anything wrong. Your very presence means that you will destroy his family. This man is not yours to love. Sorry.

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Old 29th September 2017, 7:31 AM   #3
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BaileyB, he likes me as a friend, and I am happy with that. We spend some time together as friends would, share life stories and challenges, share insights, advice, etc.

It's worth it.
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Old 29th September 2017, 7:35 AM   #4
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His wife would argue the thought that you haven't done anything wrong. Your very presence means that you will destroy his family. This man is not yours to love. Sorry.
I don't know about the wife... She have an FB (I presume) but they do not check out each other's posts...

Of course he is NOT mine. My happiness is we spend time together and share laughter, problems, challenges, and everything under the sun.
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Old 29th September 2017, 7:36 AM   #5
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BaileyB, he likes me as a friend, and I am happy with that. We spend some time together as friends would, share life stories and challenges, share insights, advice, etc.

It's worth it.
That's called an "emotional affair."
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Old 29th September 2017, 7:46 AM   #6
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That's called an "emotional affair."
Thanks.
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Old 29th September 2017, 2:17 PM   #7
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BaileyB, he likes me as a friend, and I am happy with that. We spend some time together as friends would, share life stories and challenges, share insights, advice, etc.

It's worth it.
worth it how? To let yourself love someone who is married? You want to just be his friend, let your feelings continue to grow so you get attached more and more? How are you ever going to date another man, let alone let your heart be open to someone else? As long as you're lusting after this MM NO man will ever catch your eye.

It's a waste of your precious time and energy to invest in someone who isn't going to divorce his wife and start a new life with you. I hope you see this.
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Old 29th September 2017, 7:23 PM   #8
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This guy is married. He may be a cheater, he may not, but why don't you feel you deserve more than to be a mistress?

Focus on finding hobbies or activities with your kids. Become a strong independent woman. Get a divorce if you are so sure you are done with your marriage (please don't bring the whole "divorce is so expensive" excuse...cause that is what that is, an excuse). Find out who YOU are and go live your life....and leave the married guy alone.

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Old 29th September 2017, 11:59 PM   #9
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I am still happy, so, I am ignoring the comments being thrown against.

The last time we were together, it was an exit to our course for both of us and he has in fact decided that was it.

We were exchanging opinions about studying being fun and how we ended up taking our post-grad course, how I was actually looking for another course, but it was not offered previously, but seeing our closing program, I found out it was already being offered.

On his part, he was stopping because he can't stand one of the subjects that needs to be taken to finish the master studies. He still would need to take at least 3 subjects. I will be on my last subject this next semester.

And he said, "Why don't you take the new course, and I will finish my master studies?"

For someone who wasn't expecting anything, I was elated, and this made me happy, until now. And also, he has given me his schedule for the next month, so, we could arrange to meet again.

It's just friendship, but it makes me happy... I just wonder why the bitter words out there.

Oh, and yes, I do lust for him, though I am sure it is not obvious. If ever we'll do it, it'd be hoot.
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Old 30th September 2017, 10:28 AM   #10
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If ever we'll do it, it'd be hoot.
You think that now. I'm sure a lot of us here thought the same thing. I know I did. In my case, I rationalized that a one and done would be ok to get it out of our systems. It didn't work out like that. It led to almost another year of him trying to get me to sleep with him again and me sometimes caving because I was so desperate for the attention. The whole thing wrecked me and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces after being no contact for over 3 months.

Just don't do it. Affairs cause devastation to at least one party (usually the OW) and sometimes everyone. You are waltzing into a firestorm and you don't even know it.
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Old 30th September 2017, 10:37 AM   #11
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Hi oldbutcurious,

I can totally see how your friendship is infectious but I was wondering .... if you were married to someone and your husband was conducting a friendship such as this then what would your reaction be if you found out? Would you be happy about it and welcome it?

I am just curious
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Old 30th September 2017, 2:48 PM   #12
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Going as per text book.

It is going to feel over the top for a while and soon things wont be as 'worth'. Your take.
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Old 30th September 2017, 3:09 PM   #13
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You haven't done anything wrong except waste your love on someone who doesn't love you back. It's one sided and sure you can ignore my posts and other ones that you're not ready to accept but the bottom line is, you're gonna get hurt and feel quite alone one day when he lives life with his wife, holidays and vacations away. You're setting yourself up for a big hurt. Sadly you'll have to experience it and live through it. Good luck.
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Old 30th September 2017, 8:10 PM   #14
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Hi oldbutcurious,

I can totally see how your friendship is infectious but I was wondering .... if you were married to someone and your husband was conducting a friendship such as this then what would your reaction be if you found out? Would you be happy about it and welcome it?

I am just curious
I was married. We separated amiccably, although it is not made legal yet, about more than 2 years already. Actually, I encourage him to look for another woman, date, get married if he wants to, because I feel only sympathy for him, and keep respect for the sake of the kids.

I told him several times already that I started to like another guy, although the guy does not know. He kind of shrug it off, because he knows I am not very forward with men, and hopes he'll win me back. But as of late, I told him to stop hoping.

I am transparent to him, he felt it while I was exchanging messages with MM, he even checked the messages, and saw no malice, but he felt it. He asked, "You're so happy with your chatmate."
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Old 30th September 2017, 8:19 PM   #15
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Just don't do it. Affairs cause devastation to at least one party (usually the OW) and sometimes everyone. You are waltzing into a firestorm and you don't even know it.
I haven't done it. Haven't plotted anything to progress to another level. I am enjoying our friendship, immensely.

I believe it was because he was different from the other guys. He never flirted, or maybe, it was his personality, never took advantage, extra nice, so giving and caring.

I don't know if it is the novelty. It's like a high school thing when you just love your friends and enjoy their company and be comfortable like hell, without worrying for anything... maybe, I am in my second childhood (it's just a fun thought, I know).
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