LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > The Other Man / Woman

Roommates wife


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

Like Tree5Likes
  • 2 Post By Darren Steez
  • 1 Post By Trip2TheSky
  • 1 Post By sandylee1
  • 1 Post By Bufo
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 27th September 2017, 1:32 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1
Roommates wife

New here so need advice.
6 months ago I moved in with a friend and his wife. Shortly after on a drunken night she and I began to flirt a little. Holding hands, and playing footsie. This continued for a week or 2 and then she began texting me. Was simple flirting at first and then became sexting on a few occasions. Her guilt always hit her hard after sexting, would barely look at me the next day and barely speak. Would always pick back up again. We expressed feelings for eac other many times. After a month half I suggested we stop. Expressed my strong feelings for her and my guilt. All she responded was that she agreed. Of course there was a lot of tension between us after for a few weeks. I even told her I would move out to which she refused my offer. So Iíve stayed. Over many times Iíve noticed her giving me looks and occasionally flirty. Other times very cold toward me.
Anytime weíd be alone in the apartment together she either stays in her room or leaves till her husband returns. I care for both of them as great friends and feel horrible.

We still catch each otherís looks often but this awkwardness is driving me nuts of her not wanting to be alone. (Side note, we never progressed to a physical level)


So Iím just trying to figure out if she likely canít stand the thought of being. Around me or simply doesnít trust herself or me to behave if alone together
Dawgfan99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th September 2017, 1:52 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Darren Steez's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,555
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawgfan99 View Post
Anytime weíd be alone in the apartment together she either stays in her room or leaves till her husband returns.
What can't you understand? This seems abundantly clear, how about you act a little grown up and stop all this stuff? You say you care for them both and yet you want to start a situation which will only end badly for everyone involved especially since the man trusts you to be in his house with his wife.

Unless of course you want a situation where he finds out you've been flirting and sexting his wife?
Darren Steez is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th September 2017, 2:33 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 17
Cool

Good for the wife in avoiding you while you two are alone, to be honest.

The deal is that she loves her Husband and is not willing to destroy her marriage, so instead eliminates all possible factors that could induce infidelity.

If any man ever tried crossing boundaries like that, my Husband would be notified immediately and the room mate would have 7 days to find a new roof.

I love my Hubby and I wish I could high five the married women on a job well done for standing by her man.

Stick to the single ladies, my friend.

I decided to ghost all guy friends I ever had and it was the best decision I ever made for my marriage.
Trip2TheSky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th September 2017, 3:03 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,277
If you care for both of them as friends, don't rely on only asking her whether you should move out.

Do you think that her husband would want you to stay there, if he knew?

I'm not saying you have to confess but you do need to take him into account.

You need to get some distance here before disaster happens.
somanymistakes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th September 2017, 3:21 PM   #5
Established Member
 
sandylee1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,864
She's avoiding temptation. I think you should move out. You don't need her blessing or permission to do so.
anika99 likes this.
__________________
'Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to'

'If a man wants a woman to be an angel, he must first create a heaven for her. Angels do not live in hell'
sandylee1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th September 2017, 7:13 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 565
Look at it another way. What is the benefit/detriment ratio to YOU of
staying in this living situation? You are either uncomfortable with it or you get pleasure from knowing she's attracted to you knowing she is committed to your friend and third roommate.

Is the benefit worth it? If you are comfortable with the status quo then ask yourself what sort of friend you are to either. She's uncomfortable and probably feels like a prisoner in her own home. Why don't you lock yourself in your
Own room instead?

Too many strike outs on the single scene? (Not looking for your answer, just asking you to ask yourself the question).



Yourself
Bufo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th September 2017, 6:22 AM   #7
Established Member
 
oldbutcurious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: in an island somewhere in the Pacific
Posts: 102
You and the wife are both in a trip - you are both needing attention. Get it from a lady who is free.
oldbutcurious is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Roommates with your ex? JTwelve Breaks and Breaking Up 8 3rd December 2015 3:32 AM
the new roommates whatwhit Long-Distance Relationships 1 5th April 2010 3:39 PM
Roommates RogueAC General Relationship Discussion 4 12th November 2008 12:00 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:49 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.