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MM's Soon to be Ex unblocked me on Facebook


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Old 20th September 2017, 9:50 PM   #1
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MM's Soon to be Ex unblocked me on Facebook

so here is the back store.

So it's been almost a year since my MM told his wife that he wanted a divorce. They have been going back and forth trying to reach an agreement via mediation. She tried different tactics and did everything she could to stall/prolong the process. and hinted multiple types, she didn't want a divorce, but MM had made very clear to her that it is over and there is nothing she could do to make him change his mind.

She blocked me on facebook soon after the Dday which is about three years ago, which I found funny since she was the one that had been stalking me on social media, checking out my Linkedin, Pinterests facebook etc. I know this is because MM told me she took screen shots of my social media pictures and sent to him.

Anyway, yesterday, I noticed when I check my facebook. Facebook sent me a notification asking me is I know MM's soon-to-be ex (you darmn facebook), so I clicked on it and obviously, she has unblocked me. It must have happened recently.

I know it shouldn't matter, but i can't help thinking why she decided unblocked me now.

Has anything like this happened to you. Any thoughts?
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Old 20th September 2017, 9:56 PM   #2
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She'd have to unblock you to check out your page, right?
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Old 20th September 2017, 9:58 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by LGBJUNHAO View Post
so here is the back store.

So it's been almost a year since my MM told his wife that he wanted a divorce. They have been going back and forth trying to reach an agreement via mediation. She tried different tactics and did everything she could to stall/prolong the process. and hinted multiple types, she didn't want a divorce, but MM had made very clear to her that it is over and there is nothing she could do to make him change his mind.

She blocked me on facebook soon after the Dday which is about three years ago, which I found funny since she was the one that had been stalking me on social media, checking out my Linkedin, Pinterests facebook etc. I know this is because MM told me she took screen shots of my social media pictures and sent to him.

Anyway, yesterday, I noticed when I check my facebook. Facebook sent me a notification asking me is I know MM's soon-to-be ex (you darmn facebook), so I clicked on it and obviously, she has unblocked me. It must have happened recently.

I know it shouldn't matter, but i can't help thinking why she decided unblocked me now.

Has anything like this happened to you. Any thoughts?
Clearly she wants to keep an eye on you and se if you and MM are together. Maybe harass you too, but probably just stalk.

For your sanity, I would definitely block her. You don't want her creeping in on your life. (Insert statement here about obvious hyoricisy of that, given your intrusion into HER life.) And it would likely speed up her healing process if she can't cyber stalk you and pain shop. So, win-win.

I was in a similar situation and turned all my accounts super private. I didn't want her watching over me, I want her out of my life.
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:09 PM   #4
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Block her ASAP! If she's popping up on "people you may know", she's been creeping on your page a lot. Make sure all your posts are private, friends only. Go through your friends list and make sure they're all YOUR friends and not random people or people who know her. She's clearly interested in knowing what you and your guy are up to and you want her as far out of your life as possible.
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:13 PM   #5
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Do they have children? IF so, you need to let go of your hate and resentment towards her and just find a bit of compassion for her. IF you are going to be step mom to their kids she WILL be in your lives forever because of their kids (if they have any..If not then obviously you can disregard the above) though for your own sanity and peace of mind you should stop focusing on her since you and him are together now. If you and him have any chance (change up the dynamic and rid of the affair dynamic and the drama) you need to stop checking to see if she is checking up on you. You can always block her.
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:20 PM   #6
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Thank you for your response

My facebook is private. only my friends can All posts/pictures. I set my friend list private so even my friends can't see my friend list. They can only see mutual friends. I also removed the picture tag of my in any of the pictures my friends posted with public setting.

I am a little scared of what she is going to do next. They are not officially divorced yet.
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:30 PM   #7
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Do they have children? IF so, you need to let go of your hate and resentment towards her and just find a bit of compassion for her. IF you are going to be step mom to their kids she WILL be in your lives forever because of their kids (if they have any..If not then obviously you can disregard the above) though for your own sanity and peace of mind you should stop focusing on her since you and him are together now. If you and him have any chance (change up the dynamic and rid of the affair dynamic and the drama) you need to stop checking to see if she is checking up on you. You can always block her.
They have a 3 years old years old son from IVF. I have no issue to be a good step mom, but I don't think she can let this go. In her mind, I am the person that steal her husband. The reality is that the marriage had been dead years before he met me.

I didn't really check her on social media for over an year. I feel quite secure with MM. especially I know he is making progress to finally divorce her. Although slowly but surely.

I just want this to be done and we can all move on with our life. I just hope as time goes by, she would come to realization that it would be beneficial that she and I have a civil relationship since they have a kid together. I don't need and don't want to be her friends. I am ok to be a step mom, if she doesn't like it, I would be her son's father's GF. I will treat him kindly.

I just hope we can all move on with our life and be in a better place soon.
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:36 PM   #8
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They have a 3 years old years old son from IVF. I have no issue to be a good step mom, but I don't think she can let this go. In her mind, I am the person that steal her husband. The reality is that the marriage had been dead years before he met me.

I didn't really check her on social media for over an year. I feel quite secure with MM. especially I know he is making progress to finally divorce her. Although slowly but surely.

I just want this to be done and we can all move on with our life. I just hope as time goes by, she would come to realization that it would be beneficial that she and I have a civil relationship since they have a kid together. I don't need and don't want to be her friends. I am ok to be a step mom, if she doesn't like it, I would be her son's father's GF. I will treat him kindly.

I just hope we can all move on with our life and be in a better place soon.
I wouldn't hold your breath. You had an affair with someone who was having a child with someone else---their wife. I'm glad you are willing to be a good step mom....but you and MM ruined this woman's family which I'm sure she was happy to start since they were doing IVF. Jeesh I don't get it. Of course she hates you. I'd just keep your distance and be the best person you can be around that child
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:53 PM   #9
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I wouldn't hold your breath. You had an affair with someone who was having a child with someone else---their wife. I'm glad you are willing to be a good step mom....but you and MM ruined this woman's family which I'm sure she was happy to start since they were doing IVF. Jeesh I don't get it. Of course she hates you. I'd just keep your distance and be the best person you can be around that child
He didn't want the kid but she threaten to kill herself if he didn't agree to go through the IVF for the 8th times. Anyway she got what she always wanted. he also felt that he gave her what she wanted and now he doesn't feel he owes anything to her anymore.

She wanted the kid to save the marriage, but it didn't work. It just made him become more and more resentful toward her. That's what he told me.

anyway, I didn't plan to get involved with a married man, it just happened. I can change what had happened. I just hope everybody can be civil. No more dramas.

I am really scared she is going to do what she did to me after Dday. I almost filed a restraining order against her. UGH
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Old 21st September 2017, 12:16 AM   #10
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I am really scared she is going to do what she did to me after Dday. I almost filed a restraining order against her. UGH
What did she do?
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Old 21st September 2017, 1:45 AM   #11
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The reality is that the marriage had been dead years before he met me.
Dead for what? 4 years? IVF is expensive surely bringing a child into this world through that method means there was something there so there's the IVF then there's the pregnancy so 2 years dead?

You as a woman can imagine trying for a baby and not being able to, then having to go through that only for your husband to leave and another woman to come and co-parent the child they worked so hard to bring into this world.

As good as your intentions may be, there's an extra level of attachment and thus resentment she will feel for you.
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Old 21st September 2017, 6:03 AM   #12
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My facebook is private. only my friends can All posts/pictures. I set my friend list private so even my friends can't see my friend list. They can only see mutual friends. I also removed the picture tag of my in any of the pictures my friends posted with public setting.

I am a little scared of what she is going to do next. They are not officially divorced yet.
So her possibly looking at your Facebook equals stalking, but you looking at hers doesn't?

I think you should calm down a bit and let it go.
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Old 21st September 2017, 6:06 AM   #13
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He didn't want the kid but she threaten to kill herself if he didn't agree to go through the IVF for the 8th times. Anyway she got what she always wanted. he also felt that he gave her what she wanted and now he doesn't feel he owes anything to her anymore.

She wanted the kid to save the marriage, but it didn't work. It just made him become more and more resentful toward her. That's what he told me.

anyway, I didn't plan to get involved with a married man, it just happened. I can change what had happened. I just hope everybody can be civil. No more dramas.

I am really scared she is going to do what she did to me after Dday. I almost filed a restraining order against her. UGH
So a guy who has a clearly unstable wife, goes through the whole rigamarole of IVF because his wife threatens to kill herself if he doesn't.

he felt okay bringing a child into that situation on purpose?

That's really mixed up.
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Old 21st September 2017, 6:18 AM   #14
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So a guy who has a clearly unstable wife, goes through the whole rigamarole of IVF because his wife threatens to kill herself if he doesn't.

he felt okay bringing a child into that situation on purpose?

That's really mixed up.
I know right? And who wants to give a baby to a suicidal woman?
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Old 21st September 2017, 6:23 AM   #15
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So a guy who has a clearly unstable wife, goes through the whole rigamarole of IVF because his wife threatens to kill herself if he doesn't.
he felt okay bringing a child into that situation on purpose?
That's really mixed up.
Yes that doesn't really make sense.
Not only is IVF seriously expensive (I guess if it was their 8th try they were paying for it themselves), but he is now also financially liable for a kid for the next few decades... a kid he had to an "unstable" woman.

Surely if he had really wanted out he could have just left BEFORE she got pregnant, and he could have let some other guy pick up the tab for the IVF and child support, and deal forever with the "unstable" mother...
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