HeartbrokenDec29 Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 So its been about 8 months since the time exMM and I went our seperate ways and i cant help but thank God this happened. My life has changed and im more opened to understanding life isnt black and white but our choices helps define us. First 3 months wasnt easy but it was worth it! Every single day helps me realise my part and helps me acknowledge the pain i caused myself which could have been avoided if i had just followed my heart in the beginning not to enter this relationship. Entering into a new relatonship still feels like a blur to me as i cant fully see myself loving or committing fully/having lovy dovy feelings for any man. It feels like my heart is no longer present in this body when it comes to love but im simply just enjoying the freedom of being single and happy. While i have been moving on,getting healthy,getting in shape, looking fabulous and hitch hiking the world!! whooaaaahuuuu!!!! i have been getting strange fone calls over the months. The first significant call was in April. A number called and i heard people saying in the background for a lady to speak to me and pray against certain things. when the person finally got to the fone it,the person didnt leave a name and all she said was "May God not let my enemies rejoice over me" and some other rants. This person sounded panicked and in distress. I was a bit confused and panicked and kept asking who it is but said nothing. I thought something was wrong, so i called back. The person will pick but wont say a word. Finally, i left a message telling the person, i wasnt their enemy and that whatever issues they had should be dealt with in prayers and in their family and should desist from scaring me in such a way. The voice sounded like that of xMM wife, I am 90% sure of this. On checking the number from truecaller, i realised it was a family member of hers, her brother cos the name on truecaller was similar. I recall conversations where xMM had mentioned his name a couple of times on how her family wanted him to employ her brother. Over time i have gotten strange numbers calling me, when i pick up they say nothing. The last time was early in August where the person was on the phone for close to 30 seconds while i kept asking who it was. I called later on that day and the number was switched off and remained that way during the week. Out of curiosity, I later called a week later and a woman picked it up and again sounded like xMMs wife and stated i was returning a call from the number. Immediately, the person hung up. I sent a text msg to find out who it was but the person ended up asking and texting back to ask who i am. I responded and stated she called but if she didnt want to disclose her identity then she shouldnt call me anymore. I blocked xMM since the beginning of time,so i dont know and dont care if he has called. i get the feeling that something awful might have happened in their family around April maybe to him/her baby (as she would have delivered her child by then) and she thought i was behind it. (Im African, people are pretty supersticious in this part of the world). I also think she probably thinks we are still communicating which we arent. Maybe he is cheating again( i dont know, i dont care). I have never been so happy....to have gotten out of this toxic relationship. I do not miss him, iv not cried in months, im happy he is with her and i do not have to deal with his lies. I'm happy that i'm happy again. Has this happened to any other woman? Do you think she is the one calling cos it sounded so much like her? Has any BS here done this before i.e. stalk the Xother woman months down the line? How do i prepare myself for any other strange phone calls? Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 So its been about 8 months since the time exMM and I went our seperate ways and i cant help but thank God this happened. My life has changed and im more opened to understanding life isnt black and white but our choices helps define us. First 3 months wasnt easy but it was worth it! Every single day helps me realise my part and helps me acknowledge the pain i caused myself which could have been avoided if i had just followed my heart in the beginning not to enter this relationship. Entering into a new relatonship still feels like a blur to me as i cant fully see myself loving or committing fully/having lovy dovy feelings for any man. It feels like my heart is no longer present in this body when it comes to love but im simply just enjoying the freedom of being single and happy. While i have been moving on,getting healthy,getting in shape, looking fabulous and hitch hiking the world!! whooaaaahuuuu!!!! i have been getting strange fone calls over the months. The first significant call was in April. A number called and i heard people saying in the background for a lady to speak to me and pray against certain things. when the person finally got to the fone it,the person didnt leave a name and all she said was "May God not let my enemies rejoice over me" and some other rants. This person sounded panicked and in distress. I was a bit confused and panicked and kept asking who it is but said nothing. I thought something was wrong, so i called back. The person will pick but wont say a word. Finally, i left a message telling the person, i wasnt their enemy and that whatever issues they had should be dealt with in prayers and in their family and should desist from scaring me in such a way. The voice sounded like that of xMM wife, I am 90% sure of this. On checking the number from truecaller, i realised it was a family member of hers, her brother cos the name on truecaller was similar. I recall conversations where xMM had mentioned his name a couple of times on how her family wanted him to employ her brother. Over time i have gotten strange numbers calling me, when i pick up they say nothing. The last time was early in August where the person was on the phone for close to 30 seconds while i kept asking who it was. I called later on that day and the number was switched off and remained that way during the week. Out of curiosity, I later called a week later and a woman picked it up and again sounded like xMMs wife and stated i was returning a call from the number. Immediately, the person hung up. I sent a text msg to find out who it was but the person ended up asking and texting back to ask who i am. I responded and stated she called but if she didnt want to disclose her identity then she shouldnt call me anymore. I blocked xMM since the beginning of time,so i dont know and dont care if he has called. i get the feeling that something awful might have happened in their family around April maybe to him/her baby (as she would have delivered her child by then) and she thought i was behind it. (Im African, people are pretty supersticious in this part of the world). I also think she probably thinks we are still communicating which we arent. Maybe he is cheating again( i dont know, i dont care). I have never been so happy....to have gotten out of this toxic relationship. I do not miss him, iv not cried in months, im happy he is with her and i do not have to deal with his lies. I'm happy that i'm happy again. Has this happened to any other woman? Do you think she is the one calling cos it sounded so much like her? Has any BS here done this before i.e. stalk the Xother woman months down the line? How do i prepare myself for any other strange phone calls? Honestly, if this is the extent of the phone calls, I would ignore it. If it escalates to something more, contact the police. As it stands right now, the calls are annoying, but they don't seem to be something that's building up to anything. For now, use voice mail and call display to screen the calls. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 (edited) Just ignore it and don't be so curious to call and text back. Or change your number. [] Edited September 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content 2 Link to post Share on other sites
InvisiBlonde Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Good for you for blocking the MM and for being NC with him. I don't want to sound snarky or unsympathetic, but it sounds to me like a part of you is still hanging on. Believe me, I do get your curiosity and the wanting to know who's making these calls (I had a similar experience many years ago), but you found that out pretty much right at the start, so. . ? Let's assume you get the validation you seek: You all get together in a room and they freely admit that yes, it was us; yes, we do blame you for what happened in April. Okay; then what? Why haven't you blocked those other numbers? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Block the number. You do still seem invested, to call and text that number so much isn't helping your healing process. i get the feeling that something awful might have happened in their family around April maybe to him/her baby (as she would have delivered her child by then) and she thought i was behind it. You're not in his life anymore so if something bad happened, what could you do anyway? Let it go and continue to push forward and put exMM and his wife out of your head. Link to post Share on other sites
Demons Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 (edited) You should call that number back and tell his wife you'll notify the police if she keeps trying to contact you. This is becoming harrasment and she has no right. You've done nothing wrong! Edited September 1, 2017 by Demons Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartbrokenDec29 Posted September 1, 2017 Author Share Posted September 1, 2017 Good for you for blocking the MM and for being NC with him. I don't want to sound snarky or unsympathetic, but it sounds to me like a part of you is still hanging on. Believe me, I do get your curiosity and the wanting to know who's making these calls (I had a similar experience many years ago), but you found that out pretty much right at the start, so. . ? Let's assume you get the validation you seek: You all get together in a room and they freely admit that yes, it was us; yes, we do blame you for what happened in April. Okay; then what? Why haven't you blocked those other numbers? Oh it's okay to have your opinion. That's urs not the reality of things. Quite the opposite I am not hanginging on to anything. Don't you think getting about 12 strange calls over the months is enough to wake up anyones awareness. If I was vested I will have been up here writing about it immediately it happened. The thought just crossed my mind and thought to ask people of their experience with instances like that. I get different numbers calling me, all of which I block right after Nothing is said. I am not changing my number because my business contacts know this number, Iv had it for years and I refuse to let any part of my life change bcos of this. All I want is to know how to handle any of such calls if it comes in again! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartbrokenDec29 Posted September 1, 2017 Author Share Posted September 1, 2017 Block the number. You do still seem invested, to call and text that number so much isn't helping your healing process. You're not in his life anymore so if something bad happened, what could you do anyway? Let it go and continue to push forward and put exMM and his wife out of your head. I do not think trying to find out who has been calling you is the definition of being invested in a relationship that ended 8months ago. It's a bit worrisome and I'm sure u cud have done the same after getting strange fone calls for months. Even tho I think it was her cos of the voice , I'm not 100% sure I just generally believe people find it difficult to understand and accept that an xOW can really move on. Anyways, I will take ur advise and every other persons and just ignore till per chance the person admits who she really is. Then I cud be certain. Thank u 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Oh it's okay to have your opinion. That's urs not the reality of things. Quite the opposite I am not hanginging on to anything. Don't you think getting about 12 strange calls over the months is enough to wake up anyones awareness. If I was vested I will have been up here writing about it immediately it happened. The thought just crossed my mind and thought to ask people of their experience with instances like that. I get different numbers calling me, all of which I block right after Nothing is said. I am not changing my number because my business contacts know this number, Iv had it for years and I refuse to let any part of my life change bcos of this. All I want is to know how to handle any of such calls if it comes in again! Don't engage. I know the calls are annoying, but calling back or even answering them both invites them into your life ( whoever it is)and feeds your sense that it's the same person. Don't do that to yourself, it's just not worth the irritation. Try and let it go. If whoever s calling gets nothing out of it they'll likley stop. There is a small chance this could escalate. If it does, call the police immediately. they will be able to sort it out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
InvisiBlonde Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Okay. I hope you work it out / they leave you alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Doublegold Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 (edited) Sorry to hear this is happening to you as you strive to move forward and make an exciting, new life for yourself. Hopefully the bunny boiler will digest her soup and you will get some peace. Keep moving forward and embracing the world that awaits you. Take Care. Edited September 2, 2017 by Doublegold Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Simple solution. Any time you get a call from an unfamiliar number let it go to voicemail. Legit callers will leave a message including who they are. Call back and do your business. Put that name and number into your contacts. The next call will be affiliated with the name you know. If no message is left block the number. You have no need to be in contact with these people. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 We blow a whistle down the phone when scammers call us. :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Is there any chance his wife/family would have your address? If so, I would report the calls to the police. Anyone who rants about religion while on the phone to you is not in their right mind. I would be concerned about such a person knowing my address. While this could just be annoying phone calls, if someone is mentally disturbed and knows how to find you, it could turn into more. If you ask the police to subtly find out who is calling you and monitor it, they might do. They do not need to reveal to the caller that they are monitoring. In fact that would be a bad idea as, if they are disturbed, it could make matters worse. Making sure the police are aware would have several benefits: - monitor the calls and keep a record of how often they are happening - find out who is calling you - check to see if caller is disturbed or dangerous - keep you safe The police may not do anything, of course, but it might be an idea to alert them just in case this does not go away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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