BlueSprinkles Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 I've been involved with a MM in long distance, online relationship for a few months now. When we began the relationship he was separated and my own marriage had grown quite stale and tedious. Since beginning this online relationship, my marriage has changed. I've used the cyber chats I've had online as a real life spark with my husband. I've also started communicating better with my spouse, after having been encouraged to do so by my online relationship. He's reconciled with his wife now and, at first, we'd decided on NC. We'd remain friendly but on a platonic level. Obviously that didn't last. We are still communicating via chat, text, and skype. We both admit to having strong feelings for each other. We can talk for hours, have tons of sexual chemistry, and enjoy each other's company. If we were closer in physical location we'd have to make a decision-continue the affair and move it into a physical realm or stop altogether. But we're separated by an entire country and a physical affair or legitimate relationship just isn't possible. Has anyone found themselves in this position, where there is no real chance of moving beyond a virtual affair? Does it just eventually fizzle out? Is it possible to maintain what basically is a friendship with inappropriate sexual conduct? Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 It's not possible to just be friends with a former affair partner. Firstly, it's disrespectful to your marriage to do so. Secondly, it never really goes back to just friends. Thirdly, that emotional energy should be spent on your spouse. A true friend would know your spouse and engage with him. How would you explain that? Make a decision: marriage or affair. Then cut the one you don't choose out of your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 It wont frizzle out just like that unless one loses interest because its an LDR and this pissing other off. I was exactly where you were but he was my school mate. EA started long distance, I was into it like mad but he always used to say 'it would be different if we actually saw each other or we stayed close'...I wasnt there looking for sex par se so I was happy in the set up until he got bored of waiting for my arrival which I wasnt sure of. He became indifferent and it killed me... giving one word texts and having no interest in what i used to say...I was already feeling guilty on what I was doing and now the guilt added up because I was the one trying harder to keep him.. I decided to stop and luckily had a d day too... It was really a pain for me moving away from him to where I am now but NC helped. Better now than late, why pile up hurt and overload yourself?.. End now while you could still carry the hurt you piled... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Would your spouse be okay with you flirting with someone as long as there was no chance of it going anywhere? It may eventually fizzle out, but probably only when one of you gets fed up or distracted by something in the real world and fails to respond quickly enough, and the other one sulks. With that in mind, it might be tidier to make a conscious choice to end it rather than have it hanging around forever, waiting to see which one of you moves on first and which one of you feels left behind. Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 How, exactly, can you seriously say you have great sexual chemistry with some guy you've never met or had sex with? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zolatola Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Why wait for it to fizzle out? Why not be a grown up and end it? Link to post Share on other sites
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