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We starting seeing each other.. then I found out he is engaged...


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So a month ago I met a guy who I really liked and we clicked really well sexually and emotionally (like I haven't felt this connected with someone for a while). Then I found out him and his boyfriend have been on the rocks since December and that he rarely mentions him.. I confronted him about the boyfriend part and I told him I couldn't deal with him having someone already... but then he cried (which made me all soft) so I stuck with him (with the expectation that they are almost finished(. Well.. earlier today I found his boyfriend's facebook profile and that they are actually engaged. I don't want to be the one to wreck someone's relationship, so I feel so bad, I shouldn't have hope that it will work out between us.. but at the same time I am finding it hard to let go... what would you do in this case?

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You're only a month or so in? GET OUT NOW. If things were that bad they would've broken up by now. You're in for a world of hurt and will be taken on a long, heartbreaking ride.

 

Let him know that if he decides to do things right- break up with the fiancé and date you, then ok, you can try and give it a shot. But don't get involved any further while he's engaged.

 

If you find it even somewhat difficult to end it now after only a month, imagine how impossible it'll feel in a year or later.

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I don't want to be the one to wreck someone's relationship

 

So don't be. You had no fault in anything up until the second you found out he's not single.

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whichwayisup

You barely know him and he's lied to you from day one. It's been 1 month so as much as you 'like' him and feel attracted to him, dump him! you haven't invested that much so best to walk away now, especially since he does have a boyfriend and you don't want to help him ruin his relationship.

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I don't want to be the one to wreck someone's relationship, what would you do in this case?

 

So don't. Why would you ever want to date someone who has lied to you about this? He may not respect the boundaries of his relationship, but you certainly should.

 

It's only been a month. Surely, you are not that attached and heartbroken. Find something else to do, go out with friends, plan a little trip... Let him go.

 

Someone else will come along. They always do...

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You can't stay with a cheating liar. Whether you disclose what happened between you to his FI is up to you but you deserve better then somebody who can't be honest.

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