misspalmy Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 how long did it take you? Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 I had a fairly brief 3-4 month mostly emotional affair. I'm just getting over him (and the many consequences of the affair). I'm at 8 months NC. It took almost a complete change of circumstances (job, housing, city) to get here. Too many memories, and it didn't help that I chose (for various reasons) to stay in contact with a mutual friend. Time heals, but it does take considerable time and distance to get there. Link to post Share on other sites
MidnightBlue1980 Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 how long did it take you? I have an interesting perspective. My A ended late 12/15 and I was beyond grief stricken. Due to various factors you can read about in my 1700 posts, I continued to have weekly contact with him till the end of 11/16. The PA never started again but without typing a novel, I never got over it one little bit. My life was hell. Pure hell. 12/1/16 he was gone and now its 6/11/17 and I can honestly tell you that I don't miss him, love him, think about him. I don't wonder what he's doing. I know he used me but whatever, I don't really care. My bad. I saw recently he and his wife looked at me on Linked In and again, eh, whatever, I don't really care. It's like a story that happened to someone else, it seems nuts now that I was so emotionally involved over someone I really barely knew. When he left, my H said - 6 months - June 17 and you will feel better. So NC for 6 months (except one chance meeting) and I'm alright. Honestly. I don't have his baby though. I believe you do, right? That would make it harder. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 I haven't. I'm not trying to forget him. xMM and I had a long affair of 8 years. I still love him and think of him every day. He was a big part of my life for a significant amount of time and I don't want to forget his existence. He is just another person in my past. Poppy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 Even though things are much better in my life and I have moved forward from how things ended between us, it has been 10 months and only had contact because of a legal settlement that was needed between us about three months ago which as for legal purpose only, I still am not "over" him. I was with him for 4.5 years and we talked and texted every single day. I think maybe it just takes more time depending on how strong your feeling were. I was very in love with him and for me, I loved him more than I could have ever imagined loving someone. I still love him... however, he hates me and loves his wife. Everyone has different time frames in how long it takes to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 almost there.. almost there.. * streches desperately* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
titern Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 like 2 years i think Link to post Share on other sites
FlemishSwanSong Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 I've found the moving on period extremely slow and progress hasn't been continuous. My EA and PA ended 8 months ago. I think I see things more clearly, I know he used me, I don't cry anymore, but I still miss him and have thought about him every day. There has been NC and I think this is best. I suppose the answer is it will take a while, especially if you thought you were in love and didn't orchestrate the ending. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Onlywhenitrains Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 I'm still not over him. He comes to mind every day. It was 18+ months PA, and it's been complete NC since Dec 2016. I'm better. I don't cry any more, once a month maybe, mostly because I feel lonely, not because we are no longer together. I don't miss him or long for him as I used to. I see it more clearly for what it was as the time goes by. I had a lot of anger towards myself mostly and him for what we did. I must say that anger was the worst thing to deal with in the aftermath. It's fading away now. I mostly feel like him and the A we had is something that is slowly disappearing in the rear view mirror, and will eventually disappear completely. I'm not working towards forgetting him, because quite likely I never will. Just indifference you know...being able to say those words of wisdom I read here on LS - "We are not friends, we are not enemies, just strangers with memories". Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted June 15, 2017 Author Share Posted June 15, 2017 I have an interesting perspective. My A ended late 12/15 and I was beyond grief stricken. Due to various factors you can read about in my 1700 posts, I continued to have weekly contact with him till the end of 11/16. The PA never started again but without typing a novel, I never got over it one little bit. My life was hell. Pure hell. 12/1/16 he was gone and now its 6/11/17 and I can honestly tell you that I don't miss him, love him, think about him. I don't wonder what he's doing. I know he used me but whatever, I don't really care. My bad. I saw recently he and his wife looked at me on Linked In and again, eh, whatever, I don't really care. It's like a story that happened to someone else, it seems nuts now that I was so emotionally involved over someone I really barely knew. When he left, my H said - 6 months - June 17 and you will feel better. So NC for 6 months (except one chance meeting) and I'm alright. Honestly. I don't have his baby though. I believe you do, right? That would make it harder. I did text me yesterday about paying for a dna test, his wifes idea. I told him get lost and let the court deal with it, im not ready to see him or his fish wife. by the time its ready go count i will be stonger to deal with thoses two Link to post Share on other sites
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