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Have you, your spouses or your affair partner, or either spouse had a health crisis during the affair ?

How did you deal?

 

I'm genuinely worried and upset so just looking for anyone to relate, or to distract myself maybe.

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Yes we both did.

 

We were able to visit each other in hospital. Don't know how we did but we did.

 

Last January I had surgery and xMM took care of me for a week when I was completely immobile.

 

What's up Autumn?

 

Poppy.

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I am ok. My husband is away so I was just alone with my thoughts last night. .

 

MM got hurt at work last week, it was an awful day. I'm listed as an emergency contact (please no judgement there, it turned out to be a smart choice since his wife was unable to be reached) he was rushed to hospital I ended up having to pick up their kids and mine from school and had really barely any idea what was going on for about 3 hours other than he was stable but might lose a limb!

It was honestly one of the most horrible few hours. I couldnt reach my husband or his wife and when I finally did she of course went to the hospital and I kept the kids overnight.

I was able to go see him the next day and he was let out fairly quickly but then infection set in. Hoping things will be ok but he's still in a lot of pain.

She took the morning off the day after the accident but then went right back to work. He's home but basically bedridden and goes to the hospital every 6 hours for iv antibiotics.

 

It's just been a really emotional week. You really learn what's important to you when something scary happens. Still not completely out of the woods and he could still have a big recovery ahead. I needed someone to hug me. I had 7 kids here, all young enough that they were not able to see me upset really so I stayed as upbeat as I could and just kept thinking I really needed someone! I needed to see him and make sure he was ok, I couldn't cry as much as my body was trying to force me to, I couldn't say all the things I wanted to when I finally talked to him, or his wife and my husband I was just a mess.

 

And sitting here now just thinking what if he hadn't made it which was a very real possibility.

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Maddieandtae

Autumn this is what happens when a person is in a affair, the affair person cannot express to others their true feelings of worry or grief about the one who is hurt or died. I imagine it's a horrible spot to be in.

 

I do hope all will be well with the married mans health and I hope you are feeling calmer.

 

Maybe you can call a crisis line when you are alone to get a human voice on this? A message board isn't going to cut it for the deeper emotions that are buried on this situation:(

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somanymistakes

I'm glad you were able to be there for them as much as possible, wish I could provide more helpful support for what you need as well. It's very scary.

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Well, here's hoping the truth of your affair comes out during this time. I feel bad for MM's wife, fussing over her husband having no idea that you and he have been betraying her all this time, his heart going to another woman!

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whichwayisup
Well, here's hoping the truth of your affair comes out during this time. I feel bad for MM's wife, fussing over her husband having no idea that you and he have been betraying her all this time, his heart going to another woman!

 

Not only that but when (not if, WHEN) she finds out the truth about you and her husband, she is going to be whacked with awful emotions knowing you were around their children so much. Doesn't she wonder why you are listed as an emergency contact?

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Have you, your spouses or your affair partner, or either spouse had a health crisis during the affair ?

 

 

Yes, usually they'd (MW's) disappear and I'd find out about it later.

 

How did you deal?

 

I generally consider[ed] health matters to be confidential and limited to close family and/or selected others and it didn't bother me. Sure, I was concerned about lingering silences but life is like that. It's full of uncertainty. Relationships of any sort are never guaranteed.

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Doesn't she wonder why you are listed as an emergency contact?

 

i assume the OP knows the wife & is some kind of acquaintance or a friend of hers, seeing how she kept the kids overnight.

 

OP - what you're feeling is temporary. you're a wreck now, you'll feel better in a couple of weeks when you'll forget about this. stop overreacting.

Edited by minimariah
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Well, here's hoping the truth of your affair comes out during this time. I feel bad for MM's wife, fussing over her husband having no idea that you and he have been betraying her all this time, his heart going to another woman!

 

Don't worry, she has not been fussing over him. At all. I've been the one driving him to all of his antibiotic treatments, taking care of their kids and cooking for them and him. She does not need anyone's pity, she's doing fine.

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Not only that but when (not if, WHEN) she finds out the truth about you and her husband, she is going to be whacked with awful emotions knowing you were around their children so much. Doesn't she wonder why you are listed as an emergency contact?

 

It was her idea to list me as a emergency contact, I am much easier to get a hold of. She calls me his second wife all of the time. It is her that gets me to watch the kids it's not something I've ever asked to do .. we are close I love her kids like my own of course they have a second home here, our living situation is a little different than most peoples. we share our yard, I work from home.

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GorillaTheater
It was her idea to list me as a emergency contact, I am much easier to get a hold of. She calls me his second wife all of the time. It is her that gets me to watch the kids it's not something I've ever asked to do .. we are close

 

 

Little does she know how close.

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i assume the OP knows the wife & is some kind of acquaintance or a friend of hers, seeing how she kept the kids overnight.

 

OP - what you're feeling is temporary. you're a wreck now, you'll feel better in a couple of weeks when you'll forget about this. stop overreacting.

 

What exactly am I overreacting about ?

At this point he's still at risk to lost his leg, of course I'm worried, I have people I can talk to about it but nobody who actually understands or could even come close to understanding the conflicting feelings about it .

I don't think everybody here has to agree with me but if you're not offering something constructive maybe just move past the post.

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I had a miscarriage during my husband first affair.

 

What's going on? You ok?

 

I'm sorry that happened to you.

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You've been at this affair for over three years and you haven't been busted yet? Wow.

 

Almost 5 years since it's been a physical affair. I'd say it started as something else but I didn't know how deep I was in for the first year at least. I lied to myself and told myself it was something less than it was.

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It started out as friendship me and him were friends first .. his wife wanted very much to get close to me I avoided it at first. She continued to try and they ended up moving very close by .. and then moving again so we now share a yard. It started out as friendship between our families I have no idea how I let it get so emotional I tried very hard to keep it physical at first because I was lonely and screwed up from my past, I somehow told myself that was OK , it got crazy fast.

 

We have never even almost been caught .

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whichwayisup
It was her idea to list me as a emergency contact, I am much easier to get a hold of. She calls me his second wife all of the time. It is her that gets me to watch the kids it's not something I've ever asked to do .. we are close I love her kids like my own of course they have a second home here, our living situation is a little different than most peoples. we share our yard, I work from home.

 

I don't like that you're making yourself and him to be victims and his wife is the bad guy in all this. You two are shaming her and of course the trust she has in you, looking after her kids and family yet all the meanwhile you're sleeping with her husband, having an affair. This situation is has the potential to turn into a crime of passion when she figures out what's been going on right under her nose.

 

Bolded, yet you do it willingly and happily knowing full well that she hasn't a clue of the 'truth'. And of course there's your husband in all this. Another clueless victim.

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I don't like that you're making yourself and him to be victims and his wife is the bad guy in all this. You two are shaming her and of course the trust she has in you, looking after her kids and family yet all the meanwhile you're sleeping with her husband, having an affair. This situation is has the potential to turn into a crime of passion when she figures out what's been going on right under her nose.

 

Bolded, yet you do it willingly and happily knowing full well that she hasn't a clue of the 'truth'. And of course there's your husband in all this. Another clueless victim.

 

Yes, OP: you sound very entitled. And where is your hubby in all this?

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How would you feel if your H had an A for this long?

 

Would that bother you at all?

 

You could be with the OM now. Just tell your H and his wife.

 

No more hiding behind the walls that you build to hide yourself from your H.

 

Set your H free and be with your true love the OM! Tell him now. You could be free in a few months when the D is final.

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I'm sorry for your the fear and pain that you are feeling this week. I hope his injury heals well with no further complications.

 

But, as I'm sure you are aware, it's hard to believe that you are having an affair with your neighbour and close family friend. It's hard to imagine that this woman would unknowingly entrust the care of her children to the woman who is sleeping with her husband. The breach of trust is almost too much to comprehend. I grew up in a small town, I know that it happens. It's still disturbing to hear because the implications for your spouses and your children if you are ever caught, will be devastating. And I say that, with experience.

 

Not to say more, because you are hurting and very vulnerable right now. Best wishes.

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