dogloverof2 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I had posted here a while back that I found myself attracted to a man other than my husband. I am past it all for the most part. There has been complete and total no contact between us..... One thing tho that for some reason I can't or won't let go of, is something he told me one time. He told me that "my husband was a lucky man".. I took it initially as a compliment, and was flattered but the more I thought and think about it, I wonder..... was he trying to catch me at a vulnerable moment or testing me to see if my response would be negative against my marriage or husband and gonna use it to get what he wanted from me?? I don't understand why I am letting this bug me. It shouldn't matter one single bit to me now.... Maybe you can tell me how you see it and I can finally put it to rest. :p Link to post Share on other sites
HeCantBreakMe Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I had posted here a while back that I found myself attracted to a man other than my husband. I am past it all for the most part. There has been complete and total no contact between us..... One thing tho that for some reason I can't or won't let go of, is something he told me one time. He told me that "my husband was a lucky man".. I took it initially as a compliment, and was flattered but the more I thought and think about it, I wonder..... was he trying to catch me at a vulnerable moment or testing me to see if my response would be negative against my marriage or husband and gonna use it to get what he wanted from me?? I don't understand why I am letting this bug me. It shouldn't matter one single bit to me now.... Maybe you can tell me how you see it and I can finally put it to rest. :p Your Husband is a Lucky Man- or in MM speak "Let's have sex" 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Your Husband is a Lucky Man- or in MM speak "Let's have sex" 100% correct. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
brigitte 1 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I had posted here a while back that I found myself attracted to a man other than my husband. I am past it all for the most part. There has been complete and total no contact between us..... One thing tho that for some reason I can't or won't let go of, is something he told me one time. He told me that "my husband was a lucky man".. I took it initially as a compliment, and was flattered but the more I thought and think about it, I wonder..... was he trying to catch me at a vulnerable moment or testing me to see if my response would be negative against my marriage or husband and gonna use it to get what he wanted from me?? I don't understand why I am letting this bug me. It shouldn't matter one single bit to me now.... Maybe you can tell me how you see it and I can finally put it to rest. :p "my husband was a lucky man".. That is a famous worn out line that men use to see if you want to mess up your marriage and have some fun, no strings attached (don't call me when you're not feeling well) sexy time with them. It's the gateway line to cheating. At this point (if you are a very smart woman) you'll pat yourself on the back and say "Yeah, I'm hot" to yourself and steer clear of this guy. However, Since you are creating this post it leads me to believe that you won't do the smart thing. But I could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 "my husband was a lucky man".. That is a famous worn out line that men use to see if you want to mess up your marriage and have some fun, no strings attached (don't call me when you're not feeling well) sexy time with them. It's the gateway line to cheating. At this point (if you are a very smart woman) you'll pat yourself on the back and say "Yeah, I'm hot" to yourself and steer clear of this guy. However, Since you are creating this post it leads me to believe that you won't do the smart thing. But I could be wrong. I walked away from the MM and even rearranged my life to avoid him and any future contact. I did do the smart thing. I have a man in my life that loves and appreciates me just like I do him.. That man is my husband! I just had this memory, if you will, bugging me.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I took it initially as a compliment, and was flattered but the more I thought and think about it, I wonder..... was he trying to catch me at a vulnerable moment or testing me to see if my response would be negative against my marriage or husband and gonna use it to get what he wanted from me?? It's both. He was complimenting you on some combination of your qualities, physical or otherwise. He also was gauging your reaction. A woman who responds positively, perhaps flirting back or returning the compliment, tells him you might be game to start an affair. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brigitte 1 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I walked away from the MM and even rearranged my life to avoid him and any future contact. I did do the smart thing. I have a man in my life that loves and appreciates me just like I do him.. That man is my husband! I just had this memory, if you will, bugging me.... I hear you. You are thinking about something that made you feel good. That's normal. But if it is "bugging" you then it sounds like you want to "figure out" what he REALLY meant by it. In other words "you're looking for trouble." I can say these things cause I've been where you are and have become wiser from all the useless nonsense I've let myself ponder. If you have a man that loves and appreciates you then you are the lucky one. Don't make your luck change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 I hear you. You are thinking about something that made you feel good. That's normal. But if it is "bugging" you then it sounds like you want to "figure out" what he REALLY meant by it. In other words "you're looking for trouble." I can say these things cause I've been where you are and have become wiser from all the useless nonsense I've let myself ponder. If you have a man that loves and appreciates you then you are the lucky one. Don't make your luck change. I am where I want and need to be. I am the lucky woman for having a good man. My husband is amazing.... He treats me like his queen. I feel bad for even letting that sentence of few words still lay on my mind, especially after all this time. One thing I have learned....an affair whether emotional or physical or both sure does leave an impact on a person. No matter how hard one tries to change that. It will always be that sore that healed but leaves a scar that never goes away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brigitte 1 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I am where I want and need to be. I am the lucky woman for having a good man. My husband is amazing.... He treats me like his queen. I feel bad for even letting that sentence of few words still lay on my mind, especially after all this time. One thing I have learned....an affair whether emotional or physical or both sure does leave an impact on a person. No matter how hard one tries to change that. It will always be that sore that healed but leaves a scar that never goes away. Living with scars are fine. Real life can be horrible at times. It can be frustrating and scary and hateful. Thinking about what that guy said to you is your way of escaping real life. I use plenty of things to escape real life. Social networking is also an escape. If you want to think about this dude and what he said to you then your brain will think about it. Marriage is a choice one has to do repeatedly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Share Posted February 15, 2017 Living with scars are fine. Real life can be horrible at times. It can be frustrating and scary and hateful. Thinking about what that guy said to you is your way of escaping real life. I use plenty of things to escape real life. Social networking is also an escape. If you want to think about this dude and what he said to you then your brain will think about it. Marriage is a choice one has to do repeatedly. I noticed you haven't been a member here long. I am assuming you are still feeling the effects of an affair that has ended.... You have come to a good place to look for support if that is the case. Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 (edited) well, looks like his wife is running out of it thou. Its a phrase as old as a dinosaur. Dont entertain. Edited February 15, 2017 by freengreen Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 "my husband is a lucky man" Men tell my husband that all the time and it means he has a good wife; I guess. It really is just a compliment and nothing more. Don't grasp at straws. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I get stuff from men like that all they time. I take it as a compliment and as 'I wish I had a shot with you'. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfromcali Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Men say that to me all the time. My MM never said that, though. However, in general that line is super common. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Isn't it amazing that such a small compliment can be taken and twisted enough to haunt you? His motivation was to have sex with you. You see something further in such simple words used cavalierly. Can you ask your husband to compliment you more often? Maybe that's what you're searching for...let it be from hubby. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 "Your husband is a lucky man." What he wanted you to say: "oh thanks, and he doesn't appreciate me!" Then oh yes there's an opening! "Why doesn't he appreciate you? Ohh you need attention, how's the sex? Oh let me me make you feel good and show you good sex" Blah. Don't read too much into it. Your husband IS a lucky man because his wife caught herself before she ruined their marriage 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bigman1 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I don't know your story, so I am not sure if OM was reciprocating your interests. I take the phrase as generally a benign phrase. It is said often enough. I heard it. I treat it like a smile or at worst a minor flirt, not intended to result in an affair. If he had returned your interests and you were in EA territory then this was an outright come on. A pick up line that meant, He's lucky but he does not know what he has and I do, so let me show you. If he was not returning your interest, then I take it as I said earlier. The bigger issue is that you are wondering about it. I know that you are NC and all of that, but it is really more in the line of "the one that got away" on your part. Put it this way, if he had said that he wanted to spend the night with you, would you still be ruminating over the comment? Let it go, or don't. If you don't then in your heart, you are still open. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 View the statement in it's entirety "Your husband is a LUCKY man" It's a loaded compliment because it appeals directly to you and at the same time downplaying your husband's role in a) Winning your love and b) Managing to keep the attention of such a beautiful woman because he's lucky The statement wouldn't make sense if it was said say to a playboy who bagged a lot of women "Hey you're lucky you get so many women" or dealmaker who constantly keeps negotiating mega million deals "Hey you're so lucky you keep getting these negotiators to go up against you" see if you shot back and said no we met at such and such and we courted and we fell in love that would have killed that dead. Yet instead he insinuates luck had something to do with your husband winning your affections..so much to the point even now you're running over this one well worn out line..aka your boyfriend doesn't know how lucky he is or your husband is lucky but what I'm about to do to you doesn't have anything to do with luck.. When you think about that line, think about how you and your husband met and the good times you had and how you felt..then decide whether luck had anything to do with it and whether it's also you that is fortunate to have a spouse that has your back and isn't willing to cheat or entertain other women in his head as you are with this man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) Isn't it amazing that such a small compliment can be taken and twisted enough to haunt you? His motivation was to have sex with you. You see something further in such simple words used cavalierly. Can you ask your husband to compliment you more often? Maybe that's what you're searching for...let it be from hubby. Yes, it is sad and I hate it.. I kinda feel like me being haunted by it, is my punishment... Edited February 16, 2017 by dogloverof2 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 It depends on who I was saying it to. Saying to a male friend? It means 'don't be a dumbass and ruin something good'. Saying it to a married female that isn't my grandmother's age? It means 'I'd like to stick my thing in you and wiggle it around some.'. Saying it to an older woman? Just a compliment. At least that's my take as a dude. Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Sorry I wasn't thinking.... there'd be exceptions to that mind frame if say a woman just won the lotto or something of that nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 It depends on who I was saying it to. Saying to a male friend? It means 'don't be a dumbass and ruin something good'. Saying it to a married female that isn't my grandmother's age? It means 'I'd like to stick my thing in you and wiggle it around some.'. Saying it to an older woman? Just a compliment. At least that's my take as a dude. Depending on your age....... your grandmother's age and an older woman could be about the same... Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Mine told me about a conversation with his next potential victim in which he said something similar. This girl told him she had turned down a date with some guy. He took this as an indication to him that she was available, and he said "unlucky guy". After reading the comments on here I think that was his signal to her. She apparently didn't reciprocate but ugh I feel so stupid now for breaking NC and talking to this douche. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sampson Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) Through the heart break of being a betrayed husband. I can tell you that in multiple conversations with my wayward wife the OM (x3) all used this exact line, or you look good for having kids, or other we can just call them "tests". Long talks have lead me to believe that OM/OW can say these things without any real emotion and/or thought. Call it no real skin in the game and because both are disposable to each other. That they are looking for those proverbial buttons to push to attack the low self image, low self worth, and overall ****ty self esteem and inject that attention/validation drug to hook the addict within. TL/DR A disguised flirt with a married woman in which an OM tries to portray respect for her husband and call him lucky. Is just an attempt to hit on said woman without any real respect for her, her marriage, her life, her family, or really anything but himself. Count your blessings, find out why this OM had such a impact on your emotions, read "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Glass. Cheers Edited February 16, 2017 by Sampson 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Mine told me about a conversation with his next potential victim in which he said something similar. This girl told him she had turned down a date with some guy. He took this as an indication to him that she was available, and he said "unlucky guy". After reading the comments on here I think that was his signal to her. She apparently didn't reciprocate but ugh I feel so stupid now for breaking NC and talking to this douche. I like pretending I'm younger than I am lol. Though really I was using that as a metaphor to mean a woman I'm not attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
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