Jemima1234 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Just thinking with it being Christmas how is everyone? If you are in an affair - how are you handling it? Will you see your AP? Will you have contact? If you are out the affair - how do you feel about it? How were previous Christmases? Me - I am still at that newly out affair stage- hurts like hell right now but focusing on the kids and making sure they have best Christmas ever! Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 It's my first Christmas in 6 years without my MM. Every day I come home expecting a package and every day there is nothing there. I am both glad he is respecting my wishes and sad that I am at this point. I keep reminding myself that this may be tough now but in time I will be in a better place. Focus on what is important. Happy holidays Link to post Share on other sites
Lady2163 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I'm no longer having sex with MM. We are phone friends. We already exchanged Christmas presents through the mail. He like liked his, I liked mine. We've texted a bit this month. We are planning to call each other next week. You know, I'm okay. I've kind of convinced myself that Christmas is more about kids and I don't have any of those. The holidays are always lonely. I've really got to think about figuring a nice, fun trip for myself this time of year next year. It's just, I'm not an outdoors, snow type of person. So, any nice trip is,probably $1500-2000 and I've done well for myself by NOT being frivolous. There are better uses for that money. So, if I can suck it up, it will pay off in the long run. But, right now, I wish I was at Disneyland rather than thinking about which rooms I will paint next year. Link to post Share on other sites
Gemlove Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 This is actually our first Christmas together :-) the past 3 Christmas we were of course apart, but I understood at the time and i spend my holidays with family. I'm Technically still an OW but we've been living together for 8 months now, his D is in process. So this year was our first Thanksgiving and now Christmas together, we'll be together in the morning with my family and then he'll spend the afternoon with the kids Happy Holidays everyone! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
buglet78 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I'm 2 months out of my A, and it is tough (we were supposed to be living together now, and having our first Christmas together). It is still easier than being in the A, and exchanging wishes via text. My A was not even a year long, so really, this Christmas is going to be the same as any other Christmas. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 We traded Christmas cards, completely normal friendly cards in the mail, to and from him and his wife. Having her signature on a card does make me feel awkward, and much more like what we're doing really is an affair, even though we're not seeing each other in person at all or sexting or anything like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 It will be 36 weeks NC on Christmas Day. It's good to be out of the A now and I will never go back. It's especially a relief not to have to endure another Christmas. xMM always turned into the upright citizen and family man at Christmas. He would barely contact me and never gave a gift in the whole 8 years. I found it very upsetting as it was unlike the way he behaved for the rest of the year. Jemima, I wish you and your children the best time ever. Enjoy them while you still can. Poppy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
AutumnMoon Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I'm hosting. So him, him his family, and a few other friends and family will be here. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Usually, we meet up on Christmas Eve while he is out running errands and may or may not exchange token gifts. This year, we have scaled back and are just friends, so it will depend if he is out. I am on the bottom of his list. I didn't get him anything this year, and may decline his call if he is out since he wouldn't make a plan for it. He was in his usual depressed mood when we spoke last, so I'm not counting on hearing from him. It would be the best gift of all if I could wake up on Christmas Day and not love him anymore. This man gives me nothing, yet I live for the crumbs and will jump when he finds time. Link to post Share on other sites
Chica80 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 We already exchanged gifts. He gave me mine a couple weeks ago I gave him his last week. I have my kids, I drop them off. Christmas night. It's ok since I drove up to see my family and get to be with them. If I couldn't be with my family I would be upset. Debating on sending text on Christmas or not. lady you only live once. Why work so hard and not enjoy your hard wrk? I would for sure be planning a trip the next holiday. Merry Christmas everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Onlywhenitrains Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 12/25 as Christmas has never been my thing as in my church we celebrate it on a different day. I'm agnostic, so really not much into it. I like festive atmosphere and quietness and serenity about it. I've been spending 12/25 with my family here in the US who observe it on that day. Always have a blast, as time spent with them is precious and means world to me. xMM...I don't know where he is, but I can speculate and assume. Doesn't really matter. I like New Year...it's probably my favorite holiday. Would've wanted to spend it with him when we were together, but of course that was impossible. Right now, I'm just very lonely. I know he couldn't or would never be able to be with me on the New Year's Eve. So, no point thinking about it. I still think of him a lot, and miss him. But, I have my life. And, it's mine. Link to post Share on other sites
LGBJUNHAO Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 We have been together for almost four years It is the third Christmas since I met him. We didn't spend time together the first two Christmas. But this year He will come over around noon on Christmas day, Unwrapping the gifts and spending some time together. He is in the middle of getting divorced. Hopefully, they can reach a settlement through mediation soon. I am cautiously optimistic Link to post Share on other sites
BabyDont Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 Christmas will be without him I will be going to see family . It will be our fifth Christmas involved together and he usually is fairly quiet over the holidays other than wishing me a merry Christmas and happy new year and then we talk a lot after it's over . Link to post Share on other sites
Blu72 Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 6 years on/off. We don't exchange gifts around this time of year and we are spotty with communication thru the holidays. His bday is a few days before xmas so its hectic. Last year we were on the outs for a couple months till we started talking more around his bday/xmas so it was hard. This year he has been rather attentive for him around this time. I did not plan on getting him a gift, but tonight he told me he had a gift for me. It was rather sweet what he said, but I try not to make much of it. We plan on seeing each other after the New Year. Link to post Share on other sites
spideywoman Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 (edited) would have been our second xmas but a is over; and we were on a break during xmas last year. this thread brought up interesting feelings and thoughts. xmas is my favorite time of the year and also the most emotional. my father died on xmas eve (today!) , which is the day my family always celebrates xmas, so for two decades now xmas night has been about my dad _ lots of people gathered around the table being merry and once in a while reminiscing and telling stories. of course xmm knows this so even when we were on a break last year he called me to mark the occasion and to exchange pleasantries. i thought it was a nice gesture. but not once, not even now, did i want him to be with me at xmas. never thought of getting him a gift. it's like there's a line in my mind that's not meant to be crossed and that's xmas. sure, he'd have fit in really well had he been my true partner but not like this. this is my and my mother's day and for those who share our lives completely. full disclosure, even though i'm almost five months out of the affair and in pretty good shape emotionally, part of me does want him to call again today. i won't pick up, but i still want him to call. i think in my mind it would cement the thought that he's not a horses ar$e. and if he doesn't that's fine, too. i'm far enough along in the healing process that it wouldn't affect me much and i would remain with the fond memories as i have been and continue to move on. and one note to Lady2163: get on that plane, sister. a ended and xh moved out (at my request) within days of each last summer. i was going through one of the most difficult times in my life. and had a two-week vacation coming up. you know what i did? i went to a tropical resort far, far away. a place where i had always wanted to go. by myself. ten days. planned the trip in about one hour. i never thought i could afford it but it was well within reach and within my budget. like you i work like a donkey and what good is it if i can't enjoy life once in a while? so, just do it. it was the best gift i ever gave myself. me, sunshine, white sand, beach, silence, kindle and lots of fruity drinks. my soul is still thanking me for that amazing getaway. Merry Christmas everyone! And Jemima, enjoy your kids Edited December 24, 2016 by spideywoman 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jennifernyc84 Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 4 year affair on and off. I ended things right before thanksgiving. Been trying NC for a few weeks. We're usually off around Christmas, so this years no different. But it still hurts. Spending time with family helps. I am single and don't have any kids but mom, dad, brother, sister, nieces and nephews. Just trying to fill that hole that he left. Link to post Share on other sites
Messy Lady Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 Our affair started almost ten months ago and is on/off and supposedly "sex only" (not the case for me) and we work together. No gifts exchanged and no "personal" cards either. Though we spent yesterday together at work at his doing and we then had some time alone together. I won't see him now until after the New Year and won't hear from him either. He goes NC at weekends and holidays which I find hard. Maybe I'll come to my senses spending time with my husband over Christmas. I am feeling very guilty at the moment and I know I let thoughts of MM take up too much of my time. Link to post Share on other sites
Babsinhealing Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 (edited) Our A has almost been 3 years. This is our 3rd Christmas and New Years. We are both M so seeing each other is impossible but right before the holidays we both take a day off and spend the entire day together... we do the same for our birthdays. I usually get a nice text or email on the actual holiday but we both know it's less about us and more about spending time with our families. Once the craziness ends, we go back to "normal". To actually see him...Christmas would be very difficult as I'm out of state with my family - but 2 out of 3 past New Year's Eves we spent texting right up til midnight as we watched the ball drop in New York City on the tv "together" ... we had to settle on an "air" kiss lol Edited December 24, 2016 by Babsinhealing Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 It will be 36 weeks NC on Christmas Day. It's good to be out of the A now and I will never go back. It's especially a relief not to have to endure another Christmas. xMM always turned into the upright citizen and family man at Christmas. He would barely contact me and never gave a gift in the whole 8 years. I found it very upsetting as it was unlike the way he behaved for the rest of the year. Jemima, I wish you and your children the best time ever. Enjoy them while you still can. Poppy. cuz, he's cheap.lol Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 Just thinking with it being Christmas how is everyone? If you are in an affair - how are you handling it? Will you see your AP? Will you have contact? If you are out the affair - how do you feel about it? How were previous Christmases? Me - I am still at that newly out affair stage- hurts like hell right now but focusing on the kids and making sure they have best Christmas ever! my first christmas following dday, some of us from the boards set up a chat room and hung out. it was fun, and it made it the evening less boring. someone finds a chat site and poasts on a new thread where it is and what time to stop by. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 cuz, he's cheap.lol NO Miss C, he was by no means a cheap arse. All through the year he would buy gifts but Christmas was for "family only !" Just a hyopcite. SEasons greeting from Australia. Poppy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeCantBreakMe Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 I am in such a better place than I was this time last Christmas. Last year we had broken up over the holidays and I was so depressed and hurt I couldn't enjoy my time with my kids ... this year xmm is is just that .. x .. and I know it will stay that way and I am not sad.. I am surrounded my family, on a beach, enjoying my life .. living it for my family and myself.. I am also mentally present and smiling. I don't want him to contact me nor will I contact him.. why?? There is no purpose for me in his life or vice versa.. I am where I want to be with who I want to be with.. Merry Christmas LS.. live your life and enjoy it... you can stop the pain. It is a choice.. choose life.. choose happiness. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidnightBlue1980 Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 I am in such a better place than I was this time last Christmas. Last year we had broken up over the holidays and I was so depressed and hurt I couldn't enjoy my time with my kids ... this year xmm is is just that .. x .. and I know it will stay that way and I am not sad.. I am surrounded my family, on a beach, enjoying my life .. living it for my family and myself.. I am also mentally present and smiling. I don't want him to contact me nor will I contact him.. why?? There is no purpose for me in his life or vice versa.. I am where I want to be with who I want to be with.. Merry Christmas LS.. live your life and enjoy it... you can stop the pain. It is a choice.. choose life.. choose happiness. I wasn't going to post this but I was in the same place. I had also just broken up with xMM, he threw me under the bus with his wife and I was dealing with the fallout in my own marriage. My kids and husband also had the stomach flu. It was a really bad holiday season. Terrible. A year later he's finally completely gone, my marriage is much better and life is just better. My husband and I were just talking about this yesterday, it's been a pretty bad 2015 and 2016, it's pretty amazing we are still married and it's definitely changed our whole view of commitment and marriage. We've certainly seen a lot of divorces over less things the past few years. Merry Christmas and here is to a brighter 2017 without any self-inflicted pain and drama. PS Oh and I am not on a beach. I'm so cold, I'm in my robe over my clothes working. I wish I was on a beach! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 (edited) Almost 3 months since I've heard from xMM. This holiday season is kicking my butt...feeling melancholy with plenty of tears. Doesn't help that it's the first one I haven't spent with family. Feeling sad and telling myself I'll get through it, it's just one holiday season, things will be better soon. Take care LS friends! Edited December 24, 2016 by HadMeOverABarrel 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 (edited) NO Miss C, he was by no means a cheap arse. All through the year he would buy gifts but Christmas was for "family only !" Just a hyopcite. SEasons greeting from Australia. Poppy. merry christmas from the southern united states where it's a 80 degrees at seven a.m. orphans sleeping, stocking stuffed. i'm off to eat ice cream, for breakfast. Edited December 25, 2016 by Miss Clavel 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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