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-   -   Crush on Doctor - Does he feel the same? [Update: doctor is married] (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/603465-crush-doctor-does-he-feel-same-update-doctor-married)

ja123 20th November 2016 9:53 PM

Crush on Doctor - Does he feel the same? [Update: doctor is married]
 
I moved and had to find a new family doctor.


Found one! And he's foreign, and tall, dark, and handsome.


I'm tall and dark, too. And we both stand out in a our white-bred small community.


As it so happens, I knew how to say "How are you?" in his language. He thanked me.


Anyhow, my healthcare card hadn't come though when I needed to see him and he insisted on not charging me ... saying he loves his job.


That was a lovely gesture.


So, I got to see him 3 times for free.


He's very nice and friendly, but I get that he's kind to everyone.


So, when I was last in, I brought some books to show him what I'm working on and I had a second copy of one and asked if he'd like to have it. He said yes without missing a beat.


Then, he said he has a book for me. It's called "Conscious Uncoupling". There's a section called becoming a Love Alchemist and the dust jacket flap was tucked in that section.


I feel silly for having such a crush ... but jazz was playing as I was heading out, I named the song and asked if he knew it, he said yes. Then he rubbed my arm by way of saying goodbye.


Could there be anything to this? :love:


Silly and hopeful me.

ja123 22nd November 2016 6:10 AM

I just want to add that I feel there's a spark ... but the man is a professional so he has to keep his boundaries.


He doesn't wear a wedding ring, but when I mentioned I had left over Hallowe'en candy, he said "same with us." Us, wife? Us, just kids ... IDK.


Also when I mentioned that I have a friend in visiting me from away, he said "well, she or {pause} HE ... blah blah" So, I clarified it was a HE. But it seemed he really wanted to know....


Am I being ridiculous?


How can this man give me a gynie exam in future. haha Maybe I'd better ask to see a female gynecologist or something.


Anyhow ... forgive me I'm just waking up. :D

jen1447 22nd November 2016 10:02 AM

Sounds like he's def interested but I'd be careful about why and what for - the marriage possibility looms large.

Ppl also sometimes just push out feelers while reserving the right to withdraw them w/out notice, so keep that in mind too.

He's a gyno? Yeah that could be awkward ....or opportunistic depending on how you look at it. ;)

(Actually in all seriousness I don't know of any gyno who doesn't maintain absolute strict professionalism bc there's pretty much no more sensitive category than that and they could go down big time at the slightest impropriety.)

Leigh 87 22nd November 2016 5:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ja123 (Post 7134136)
I just want to add that I feel there's a spark ... but the man is a professional so he has to keep his boundaries.


He doesn't wear a wedding ring, but when I mentioned I had left over Hallowe'en candy, he said "same with us." Us, wife? Us, just kids ... IDK.


Also when I mentioned that I have a friend in visiting me from away, he said "well, she or {pause} HE ... blah blah" So, I clarified it was a HE. But it seemed he really wanted to know....


Am I being ridiculous?


How can this man give me a gynie exam in future. haha Maybe I'd better ask to see a female gynecologist or something.


Anyhow ... forgive me I'm just waking up. :D

Hs has a wife.

When be said "us" he was referring to his family.

He probably did feel a spark but won't act on it.

preraph 22nd November 2016 9:00 PM

You need to look around his office for photos of his family. Nearly all doctors have them in their office somewhere. Find out if he's taken. Remember there are ethics conflicts here too. So if you find out he's single, you'd need a new doctor.

thecrucible 22nd November 2016 9:34 PM

haha I've thought about this because there is a dentist in town I think is kind of cute. I sometimes see him when he's not at work so maybe I should try and find out if he is single then? Anyway I wonder if there is a way you can find out more about him and do some digging. I like someone's idea about looking around his office. Then again he could be married so you'll have to do your digging carefully.

ja123 23rd November 2016 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen1447 (Post 7134306)
the marriage possibility looms large.

Ppl also sometimes just push out feelers while reserving the right to withdraw them w/out notice, so keep that in mind too.

I think you're right. He's seems to be putting out feelers. The way he looks directly into eyes, it's like he's piercing through me.


He's a gp but has and interest in psychology. I'm actually seeing him because of depression (which is controlled, I might add) and am in major transition right now. As a gp, he can do my pap smear, but I'm not due to have it 'till the beginning of next year.


Every time I see him, he sets me up with a new goal. He's incredibly proactive. He got me to join a gym. I told him I was going to go with a friend, but he said "no, you'll go by yourself". He's a dominant man. I told him he's Pygmalian, and he's softened up a bit since then. He knows about some of my past (i.e. having been in an abusive relationship), and he told me the past doesn't matter and to leave all negativity in his office.


He doesn't know about my sexual life (i.e. dabbling in swinging and BDSM), but I'm tempted to mention it. I don't want him to see me as some type of pure, little girl, and I'm curious as to what his reaction would be. But, I'm leaning toward not doing it. But, I'm very attracted to him, so I'm frightened of crossing the line.


I also think you're right in saying he reserves the right to withdraw at any time. I'm vulnerable right now, and he's a sophisticated man.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Leigh 87 (Post 7134852)

He probably did feel a spark but won't act on it.

Yes, I'm sure he knows he cannot act on it.


Quote:

Originally Posted by preraph (Post 7135058)
You need to look around his office for photos of his family. Nearly all doctors have them in their office somewhere. Find out if he's taken. Remember there are ethics conflicts here too. So if you find out he's single, you'd need a new doctor.

Hahaha I've already had fantasies about announcing to him that I'd be finding a new doctor so I can go have a coffee or a glass of wine with him. In his examination room, there aren't any photos. But his private stuff is behind with the secretaries, there's no way I could see it, as it's blocked off from patients.


Quote:

Originally Posted by thecrucible (Post 7135096)
haha I've thought about this because there is a dentist in town I think is kind of cute. I sometimes see him when he's not at work so maybe I should try and find out if he is single then? Anyway I wonder if there is a way you can find out more about him and do some digging. I like someone's idea about looking around his office. Then again he could be married so you'll have to do your digging carefully.

Find out more about the dentist! You never know.


As for me, I worked in pharmaceutical marketing and met a lot of doctors. There was one cardiologist who offered me food off his own plate while I was waiting with him to be interviewed. Later, when I HAD to interview him at his office, I actually asked him to dinner to a fancy restaurant to share a gift certificate from one of the companies. He said yes, then called to cancel. I could never look at him again. Ended up inviting a girlfriend to dinner which was maybe what I should've done in the first place. Anyhow, my point is is that after that experience, I'm not going to make the first move with a doctor.


I just can't get THIS DOCTOR out of my head. I see him regularly. He set it up so I see him every 2 weeks and said I could call him anytime. I've stepped backed and booked an appointment in a month (not two weeks) as my head is spinning right now and I get the impression he'd like to see me more often.

ja123 23rd November 2016 12:45 PM

A gynie exam ...


Quote:

Originally Posted by jen1447 (Post 7134306)
could be awkward ....or opportunistic depending on how you look at it. ;)

Hahaha This cracked me up! It would definitely be not clinical on my end ... I'd feel terribly guilty, like I'm the one taking advantage.


haha I should have him do it just for the hell of it. It makes a story! :D I'm soooooooo bad ....

jen1447 23rd November 2016 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ja123 (Post 7135852)
A gynie exam ...




Hahaha This cracked me up! It would definitely be not clinical on my end ... I'd feel terribly guilty, like I'm the one taking advantage.


haha I should have him do it just for the hell of it. It makes a story! :D I'm soooooooo bad ....

Sure sounds like it. ;)

preraph 23rd November 2016 3:07 PM

Well, JA, if he's not taking you to his office, then you'll just have to ask him if he's married. Most people who have kids will eventually mention them just in conversation, so a good easy way to find out is ask him before a holiday what he's doing for the holiday. Then he will say "We're going to my wife's mom's house" or "We're staying at home," and you say, "How many kids do y'all have." Or he says "I think I'm going to my parents' house." And that sounds more like it's just him. Anyway, try that.

ja123 23rd November 2016 3:26 PM

That's a great innocent way to bring it up into conversation, preraph!! Thanks for the tip, I'll try it!

GunslingerRoland 23rd November 2016 5:20 PM

A good doctor is way harder to find than a good lover.

Don't ruin a good thing.

mikeylo 24th November 2016 10:26 AM

Doctors are the biggest flirts. They have power and are in a dominating position. You can try but I doubt he will take anything further. I would suggest to pay his fees. Not a good sign,if you want to get the gist!

whichwayisup 24th November 2016 2:52 PM

So, let's say since you are crushing on him so badly, he makes a move on you IN his office. You're flirting with him, giving him signals - He will be putting his professional reputation as risk. In his office he's giving you an internal (does he have a 3rd party, usually a nurse or an office worker who is a woman join during the exam down there?) if he doesn't bring someone in, what if he starts doing more than just an internal? You still be crushing on him or would you feel used and taken advantage of? BE CAREFUL for what you wish for. Fantasy and crushes are one thing, actually acting upon it in these types of situations is dangerous and ..sorry to say, stupid.

Find another Dr, already it's weird and you're analyzing everything he says and making it personal like he's a true friend. He's your Dr not a friend.

Shanex 24th November 2016 7:29 PM

Most doctors I have known are clever (obviously they spent ten years studying), witty, funny and charming so if you add to the equation that says doctor is also handsome, odds are that he's very very pursued. Women like ambitious men, and I'll add a controversial point here: they love wealthy men and every doctor has his sh*t together. Think about it.

If he's married forget it.

Doctor was never my ''dream profession'', sure they make a **** load of bucks, but they work their asses off too. Anyway, I wish you well, OP, but your chance of dating a doctor are slim.


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