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Crush on Doctor - Does he feel the same? [Update: doctor is married]


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Old 5th March 2017, 1:06 PM   #61
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PrettyEmily77:

Great post! I saw from your posting history that you are a physician yourself. My apologies if I am mistaken. So I guess your educated guess may come from your interactions with other medical professionals? Putting yourself in the shoes of the OP's doctor, would you refer the OP to a psych instead of taking her issues (depression in addition to substance addiction) upon yourself? Also, is it common for physicians to waive fees continuously for no particular reason?

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Originally Posted by PrettyEmily77 View Post
Not sure you should be jumping to the bad doc taking advantage of the situation scenario straight away.

My (educated) guess would be that you remind him of a patient with a similar history of denial with alcohol addiction he felt he let down somehow in the past, and he's trying to keep a close eye on you to ease his conscience. Or maybe he just wants to help make you see sense.

Actually calling you would have been crossing the line, which he didn't.

I agree that you should stop seeing him however, especially if it's going to affect how you deal with your addiction.
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Old 5th March 2017, 1:48 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
would you refer the OP to a psych instead of taking her issues (depression in addition to substance addiction) upon yourself? Also, is it common for physicians to waive fees continuously for no particular reason?
There are no fees to be waived here so I guess I overlooked that part - OP did mention her card hadn't arrived yet, so maybe that explains it?

In any case, my first reaction is to consider the facts at hand - correct me if I'm wrong OP, but it looks like she has a crush on her married doc, and she also is getting to grips with her alcohol addiction. It has been mentioned upthread that the doc did in fact refer her to a psychologist, and it is standard procedure to review patients who have been subscribed anti-depressants on a monthly basis, especially as a psychologist is not normally allowed to prescribe medication - on that front, no foul play. It would probably be even more important to keep an eye on the patient given the bad antidepressants + alcohol combo.


You may not agree with me, but unless she wants that doctor sacked, I believe dealing with the alcohol addiction would be more beneficial for her health than focusing on the doctor's ethics, which may or may not be out of line (neither of us know that for sure, which is why I was offering the OP another perspective - that doctor may very well have been overzealous rather than unprofessional, for instance - yes, that happens in real life).

Sorry about the thread-jack, ja.
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Last edited by PrettyEmily77; 5th March 2017 at 1:53 PM..
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Old 5th March 2017, 1:56 PM   #63
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Thanks for responding. I didn't disagree with what you said at all I was just curious to see things from a physician's perspectives (as I'm sure there are a lot of gray areas). Btw, I think her "psych" is a psychiatrist.


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Originally Posted by PrettyEmily77 View Post
There are no fees to be waived here so I guess I overlooked that part - OP did mention her card hadn't arrived yet, so maybe that explains it?

In any case, my first reaction is to consider the facts at hand - correct me if I'm wrong OP, but it looks like she has a crush on her married doc, and she also is getting to grips with her alcohol addiction. It has been mentioned upthread that the doc did in fact refer her to a psychologist, and it is standard procedure to review patients who have been subscribed anti-depressants on a monthly basis, especially as a psychologist is not normally allowed to prescribe medication - on that front, no foul play.

You may not agree with me, but unless she wants that doctor sacked, I believe dealing with the alcohol addiction would be more beneficial for her health than focusing on the doctor's ethics, which may or may not be out of line (neither of us know that for sure, which is why I was offering the OP another perspective - that doctor may very well have been overzealous rather than unprofessional, for instance - yes, that happens in real life).

Sorry about the thread-jack, ja.
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Old 5th March 2017, 2:28 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
Thanks for responding. I didn't disagree with what you said at all I was just curious to see things from a physician's perspectives (as I'm sure there are a lot of gray areas). Btw, I think her "psych" is a psychiatrist.
Either way, the GP did the referral so evidently he had no intention of dealing with it all by himself. I guess I don't really understand why the guy's professionalism is being questioned so easily, especially under the circumstances.

Anyway, I hope you take matters into your own hands in order to tackle the real issue with a new GP, ja.
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Old 6th March 2017, 1:11 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
I doubt he's going to think anything. He has tons of other patients and to think that his thoughts revolve around you and you think he thinks of you as much as you think of him just shows how warped things are right now.

I'm in Canada too and it shouldn't take you 6 months to a year to find a new family DR.


Thank you, but I still didn't get an answer to my question about should I call his office (but I'm not going to) and it DOES take a long time to get a GP where I live.


The situation IS warped, I agree. That's why I'm confused.


Why would he even say he WOULD call on his days off if he didn't mean to keep his word?


He's always pushing me to make promises to HIM! But I guess he doesn't see that he has a responsibility to me, too, if he suggested calling.


He was very specific about calling me on Friday and Saturday in the afternoon, but not being available to call me on Sunday. THEN, he said, he wanted me to call his office on Monday.


Especially in my state, he shouldn't have suggested that if he didn't intend on following through ...


Listen, maybe he isn't thinking about me! Actually knowing that FOR SURE would be a relief, but the whole situation is confusing because I've received mixed messages.


By the way, I go to his office not wearing makeup or dressing special or anything ... I've not gone in giving him the message but wearing a low-cut top.


Regarding the booze, I'm drinking again ... but I've looked up AA and there's a meeting just for women this week. I still don't know whether I'm an alcoholic, but it would be nice to have someone I could call like a sponsor (a woman with whom there'll be no risk for hanky-panky), as my mother is an enabler. Her later father and even her brother were drunks and I drank at her place yesterday. Now I've resume drinking in private, but I'm not drunk ...
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Old 6th March 2017, 1:22 PM   #66
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June and Emily - thanks. I'll reply later today when I have time...
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Old 6th March 2017, 1:51 PM   #67
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EDIT: post 65 ... I don't wear a low cut top.
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Old 6th March 2017, 10:35 PM   #68
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Thanks for responding, June and Emily...


Quote:
Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
Putting yourself in the shoes of the OP's doctor, would you refer the OP to a psych instead of taking her issues (depression in addition to substance addiction) upon yourself? Also, is it common for physicians to waive fees continuously for no particular reason?
It was upon my suggestion that he referred me to a psychiatrist.


He did waive the fees 3 times, as I did not have a provincial card to cover the costs, I'd just moved. He could've billed me, I'd have paid out-of-pocket, then have sent the invoices to Quebec (my former province) to have been reimbursed.


Also, there was no discussion of my being billed for the phone calls during his time off.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyEmily77 View Post
There are no fees to be waived here so I guess I overlooked that part - OP did mention her card hadn't arrived yet, so maybe that explains it?

In any case, my first reaction is to consider the facts at hand - correct me if I'm wrong OP, but it looks like she has a crush on her married doc, and she also is getting to grips with her alcohol addiction. It has been mentioned upthread that the doc did in fact refer her to a psychologist, and it is standard procedure to review patients who have been subscribed anti-depressants on a monthly basis, especially as a psychologist is not normally allowed to prescribe medication - on that front, no foul play. It would probably be even more important to keep an eye on the patient given the bad antidepressants + alcohol combo.


You may not agree with me, but unless she wants that doctor sacked, I believe dealing with the alcohol addiction would be more beneficial for her health than focusing on the doctor's ethics, which may or may not be out of line (neither of us know that for sure, which is why I was offering the OP another perspective - that doctor may very well have been overzealous rather than unprofessional, for instance - yes, that happens in real life).

Sorry about the thread-jack, ja.
Those are my 2 issues:


1- crush on doctor (and his on me)
2- depression + now alcohol consumption


I DO NOT want my doc/GP to be sacked.


But I agree that we should look at all sides instead of jumping on "the bad doctor" bandwagon. That is a very apt comment. He IS overzealous. He thinks I can get to the point where I'll be med-free if I follow his instructions, go to the gym and focus on goals. He gives good advice, but he is wrong about my going off meds. I'll have to be on a maintenance dose as it is also biological. This last point the psychiatrist said given the severity and nature of the depression and how many times I've had it in the past. For instance, if my mom were to die, I'd have to be put on a good dose of Zyprexa so as not to end up in hospital.


GP's enthusiasm and positivity is cute really, if not a little nave.


Your earlier point about his treating my case specially, as he might have had a previous case that reminded him of mine, might be behind his reaction ... but there was no alcohol consumption on my part when I first saw him and he waived the fees.


The alcohol has been since Christmas.






Quote:
Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
Thanks for responding. I didn't disagree with what you said at all I was just curious to see things from a physician's perspectives (as I'm sure there are a lot of gray areas). Btw, I think her "psych" is a psychiatrist.
Yes, the "psych" is a psychiatrist, I have really bad depression and will always need to have access to a psychiatrist in case I get into trouble.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyEmily77 View Post
Either way, the GP did the referral so evidently he had no intention of dealing with it all by himself. I guess I don't really understand why the guy's professionalism is being questioned so easily, especially under the circumstances.

Anyway, I hope you take matters into your own hands in order to tackle the real issue with a new GP, ja.

GP said he had some psych training in his country, and that he could treat me ... I was the one who insisted on getting a psych .. to which he had no qualms.


I've been on the same meds that I took in Quebec. Psych doesn't even want to consider changes until at least after a year that I've been here.


I think my GP is a good doc, though. His heart is in the right place to help his patients. I do wonder about his sense of boundaries and how he will maintain his zest for the profession when he meets all the failures he will have as he pushes people to make lifestyle changes.


What it comes down to is I like him and he likes me ... I'm not feeling angry at him any more ... He may be a doctor, but he's also a man, and a human being. We humans are so imperfect! haha


I'm thinking of keeping him as a doc... providing my feelings start to diminish. In fact they had, until he suggested calling me and then everything bubbled up again.
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Last edited by ja123; 6th March 2017 at 10:39 PM..
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Old 7th March 2017, 12:21 PM   #69
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Quote:
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I'm thinking of keeping him as a doc... providing my feelings start to diminish. In fact they had, until he suggested calling me and then everything bubbled up again.
Ultimately it's up to you, and hopefully you will tread carefully, for your sake (and health) more than for your GP's.

From an outsider's point of view, confusion + crush on a married guy who is your doctor + alcohol + depression + heavy medication = recipe for trouble...

Good luck, ja.
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Old 7th March 2017, 12:28 PM   #70
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You aren't going to get billed in another province. They always waive those fees. That is standard procedure, I think you are taking things and making something to justify your feelings.

My ex bf was from Scotland became sick here. The hospital treated him and the doc did follow ups at no cost. That is the beauty of health care in Canada.
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Old 7th March 2017, 6:05 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by PrettyEmily77 View Post
Ultimately it's up to you, and hopefully you will tread carefully, for your sake (and health) more than for your GP's.

From an outsider's point of view, confusion + crush on a married guy who is your doctor + alcohol + depression + heavy medication = recipe for trouble...

Good luck, ja.
To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.


Any suggestions as to how I should go about severing our doctor/patient relationship?


Should I ask psych whether he can take over prescribing? (Kind of hard to do without telling him about my crush)


Should I tell my GP that I'm looking for a new female doc and ask whether he can prescribe 3-6 months of renewals?


Thanks for any help/advice...

Last edited by ja123; 7th March 2017 at 6:19 PM..
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Old 7th March 2017, 6:20 PM   #72
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeveCakes View Post
Youaren't going to get billed in another province. They always waive those fees.That is standard procedure, I think you are taking things and making somethingto justify your feelings.
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]Myex bf was from Scotland became sick here. The hospital treated him and the docdid follow ups at no cost. That is the beauty of health care in Canada.
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]Gladyour BF didn't have to pay anything ... usually people from other countriesenter with travel health insurance(??)
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]Asdoc's secretary pointed out: Quebec is the only province in Canada that doesn'thave an agreement with the other provinces for coverage when moving. Ittakes 3 months to get a new healthcare card in the new province.
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
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Old 7th March 2017, 6:32 PM   #73
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To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.


Any suggestions as to how I should go about severing our doctor/patient relationship?


Should I ask psych whether he can take over prescribing? (Kind of hard to do without telling him about my crush)


Should I tell my GP that I'm looking for a new female doc and ask whether he can prescribe 3-6 months of renewals?


Thanks for any help/advice...
I would think it's quite natural for the psychiatrist to take over prescribing your antidepressants. It's one thing to have an innocent crush (you can just laugh about it with your friends), but it's another to be obsessed and consumed by it. More often than not, having an unhealthy crush on a married guy may be the result of other underlying personal issues, e.g., you don't have enough emotional support in your personal life. If it's the latter case, it might not be such a bad idea to share with your psych.
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Old 7th March 2017, 7:35 PM   #74
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To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.


Any suggestions as to how I should go about severing our doctor/patient relationship?


Should I ask psych whether he can take over prescribing? (Kind of hard to do without telling him about my crush)


Should I tell my GP that I'm looking for a new female doc and ask whether he can prescribe 3-6 months of renewals?


Thanks for any help/advice...
So sorry for your and your mother's loss, ja.

You don't really owe anyone any explanation, or need to tell your psychiatrist about your crush - no one is at fault here; it is what it is. If you feel you have to tell him anything, just say personal circumstances have made it so that you'd rather deal with one medical professional for a bit, and leave it at that until you have processed things and / or / if you are ready to talk about it some more.

Re telling your doc, is there any way you could register with a new GP before your prescription runs out?

In all honesty, I'm not sure about getting a 3-month renewal prescription for antidepressants without seeing a doctor or your psych - you need support too.

I hope you're taking care of yourself, in the meantime.
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Old 7th March 2017, 7:51 PM   #75
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To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.
I am deeply sorry about that. (((Hug)))
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Last edited by JuneL; 7th March 2017 at 8:04 PM..
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