ShootingStarlet Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Bit confused. I met a guy on tinder, much older than me, like 20 years. He was so attractive, so charming, and successful. To me though, he was just my type. Didn't think I would like him, I did. We had an amazing night, really good sex. Dawned on me to ask if he was married after sex...he said no, but he HAD a wife, but they seperated and are now best friends. I said, if you're best friends, why not just go back to her? He said, you can't force yourself to love someone you don't. I still like him, I really want to see him again, I really fancy him. I looked up his ex wife on facebook, but her facebook has 'married' on her status and her second name is still his? I think, maybe she wants his second name because she's used to it now and maybe she forgot to change her status but is that just me being stupid? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Bit confused. I met a guy on tinder, much older than me, like 20 years. He was so attractive, so charming, and successful. To me though, he was just my type. Didn't think I would like him, I did. We had an amazing night, really good sex. Dawned on me to ask if he was married after sex...he said no, but he HAD a wife, but they seperated and are now best friends. I said, if you're best friends, why not just go back to her? He said, you can't force yourself to love someone you don't. I still like him, I really want to see him again, I really fancy him. I looked up his ex wife on facebook, but her facebook has 'married' on her status and her second name is still his? I think, maybe she wants his second name because she's used to it now and maybe she forgot to change her status but is that just me being stupid? Forgive me, but that is just you being stupid, sorry! 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShootingStarlet Posted October 14, 2016 Author Share Posted October 14, 2016 Wow.... like, ok I'm pretty young, and I have my status as 'engaged' on facebook because to me it's just funny and gets rid of all the weirdo stalkers, so I looked at her status and thought maybe she has it that way too, or maybe they separated and she doesn't really do facebook well and forgot to update it. On his, it says nothing. If he cheated on his wife with me....I would be pissed. Ew. Ewwww. I don't understand men like that. Which is why I hope he didn't, so I can retain my faith haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notmyselfnow Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 He is married, and unless you want a world of hurt, go no contact immediately. Read through some of the stories on here. All morals aside, you will end up hurt if you continue the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 The rule of thumb on Tinder, if he's over 40, odds are he's looking for a side piece. You can quickly find out by messaging her. And you're right, if he's says "best friend with Ex spouse" run, don't walk. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
l8estnews Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Forgive me, but that is just you being stupid, sorry! Seconded, you're being stupid. Don't let yourself be caught in a messy heartbreak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Send his so called x wife a message in facebook saying you met him and had sex and he said he wasn't married, and you just wanted to verify. You'll find out really quick if it's a lie. Hint: it is 2 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Well I disagree....my sister has her ex husbands last name and is re married. She could be remarried...but I think thats something you can look up easily isnt it? Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Seperated doesn't mean divorced. I would also send her a message and ask. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Separated = still married. Most women with children keep their married name until they remarry. Find someone who is actually single and verify that BEFORE having sex. This will save you from a lot of messy heartbreak. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Agree with the above. Have you noticed no one things you do not need to clarify his martial status? Real simple write a polite note to her asking for clarification, show it to him, if he agrees it is a good idea for your piece of mind, send it. If he in anyway asks you to delay or not to, drop him, block or future contact and SEND IT!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
grassisorisntgreener Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 I have been separated from my husband for over a year. I am still listed as married. It just seems attention seeking to change it. I don't want the "likes" associated with it, and my husband is still struggling with the separation and I don't want to be disrespectful. It could mean they are happily married, or it could mean nothing at all. I wouldn't look into that at all. I would just get to the bottom of it so you know for your own peace of mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Bit confused. I met a guy on tinder, much older than me, like 20 years. He was so attractive, so charming, and successful. To me though, he was just my type. Didn't think I would like him, I did. We had an amazing night, really good sex. Dawned on me to ask if he was married after sex...he said no, but he HAD a wife, but they seperated and are now best friends. I said, if you're best friends, why not just go back to her? He said, you can't force yourself to love someone you don't. I still like him, I really want to see him again, I really fancy him. I looked up his ex wife on facebook, but her facebook has 'married' on her status and her second name is still his? I think, maybe she wants his second name because she's used to it now and maybe she forgot to change her status but is that just me being stupid? Yup you got played by a cheater, and I doubt you're his first time to cheat on his wife. He's not the type of man you can build a trust with, he's proved that already from the get go. Cut him off and forget about him. Don't waste anymore time on this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 OP, I'm just curious as to what you're trying to gain by now looking at his and his wife's facebook? Why so much interest in a guy you had a one night stand with and said he had no aspirations to see you again? I'm just trying to understand? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 For argument's sake, let's say that they are separated. Do you really want a guy who's ex-wife is his "best friend"? Imagine him talking to her about the two of you if your relationship had a problem. An ex who is on the peripheral of his friend group is one thing....but a cozy best friend? You're in for a world of heartbreak. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Have you heard from him again after his "evasive" text? Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Bit confused. I met a guy on tinder, much older than me, like 20 years. He was so attractive, so charming, and successful. To me though, he was just my type. Didn't think I would like him, I did. We had an amazing night, really good sex. Dawned on me to ask if he was married after sex...he said no, but he HAD a wife, but they seperated and are now best friends. I said, if you're best friends, why not just go back to her? He said, you can't force yourself to love someone you don't. I still like him, I really want to see him again, I really fancy him. I looked up his ex wife on facebook, but her facebook has 'married' on her status and her second name is still his? I think, maybe she wants his second name because she's used to it now and maybe she forgot to change her status but is that just me being stupid? I would check public records to see if they own a home together. I would definitely check with the courts for the divorce. Either check the surrounding county courts or ask him where they filed the divorce. Then check. The clerk of courts can help you know where to search. Often you can search for the docket online from home. I agree with others here that if he's still attached at all to wife, ex or not, pain awaits you! Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Have you heard from him again after his "evasive" text? Elaine, I enjoy reading your posts! :-D They get right to the point! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Dawned on me to ask if he was married after sex...he said no, but he HAD a wife, but they seperated[b/] and are now best friends. I said, if you're best friends, why not just go back to her? He said, you can't force yourself to love someone you don't. I still like him, I really want to see him again, I really fancy him. I looked up his ex wife on facebook, but her facebook has 'married' on her status and her second name is still his? I think, maybe she wants his second name because she's used to it now and maybe she forgot to change her status but is that just me being stupid? She may just not have bothered to change her status OR they're still very much married. I'd go with the latter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happygal1 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 many guys don't tell the truth. Go straight to the horses mouth (the woman) if you have questions. I have asked them to their FACE if they were married or in a relationship and I have NEVER gotten a yes. EVER. and every one that I asked was with another woman. That is why I don't date.. it sucks. In order to date these days.. you need a private investigator on retainer.. Link to post Share on other sites
happygal1 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Hadmeoverabarrel.. you are so right...if I date now... (which I don't) I check public records to see if they are married or divorced...the sex abuser site.. deadbeat daddy sites.. (state sites)...etc. I make sure that I at least try to get as much information as I can... Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Since it looks like the OP has gone missing we'll close this one up. ShootingStarlet may request this thread reopened via the "ALERT US" button ~T Link to post Share on other sites
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