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A trip away...


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Hi everyone,

 

Here is my story and I am reaching out to people worldwide to see their point of view on my situation. The story is, I've been with this guy for 2 years and maybe a month, a month ago he "kinda" broke things off with me because he felt like I was being too oppressive and everything which I understand, I was a bit crazy and possessive but since he's gone on a two week trip for a wedding with a bunch of groomsmen and bridemaids. I have not really had any contact with him besides some angry texts here and there but some confessions from him that he loved me and that I shouldn't worry and be apocalyptic. It's been four days and he hasn't replied to any texts (via whatsapp) but has just been reading them.....

 

In the past, he has emotionally cheated on me at his work with emails, sending memes to women from different companies, photos of places to take photos together, emailing women with wink emojis and such and saying that it wasn't flirting but indicative of his "nice" personality.

 

I have not been an angel either but I have been faithful nonetheless.

 

What I am confused about is I was going through my ipad and still had his icloud and all these photos of his trip opened up and there were pictures of him and this other girl who was single and he joked that "obviously the single guy and single girl" hooked up, he could have meant the other grooms men but the photos were suggestive and when I confronted him, he said he had thousand of photos with others (not really) and I knew he got my texts because we use iphones and he was maybe with everyone and her.

 

I am not sure what to do or say as he is back tomorrow evening.

 

My question is to you all...

I love him very much and I see a future with him, but I've never felt so wronged in my life before. Before he left for his trip, he said "if you weren't (this) and (that), I was going to give you a ring before I left." and then he f***ed off for two weeks and I see photos of this chick!!! I mean, these are photos and couple-ish things we used to do. (thank goodness there is no smooching ones). But I know for a fact he saved her number and can whatsapp her and everything but I'm a bit confused....what do I do?

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Dump him and be glad you side stepped the bullet.

It is more my style to have a man who really wants me and makes an engagement happen and who takes me with him.

 

Is this what you want? Think about what you want and if this is it?

Hi everyone,

 

Here is my story and I am reaching out to people worldwide to see their point of view on my situation. The story is, I've been with this guy for 2 years and maybe a month, a month ago he "kinda" broke things off with me because he felt like I was being too oppressive and everything which I understand, I was a bit crazy and possessive but since he's gone on a two week trip for a wedding with a bunch of groomsmen and bridemaids. I have not really had any contact with him besides some angry texts here and there but some confessions from him that he loved me and that I shouldn't worry and be apocalyptic. It's been four days and he hasn't replied to any texts (via whatsapp) but has just been reading them.....

 

In the past, he has emotionally cheated on me at his work with emails, sending memes to women from different companies, photos of places to take photos together, emailing women with wink emojis and such and saying that it wasn't flirting but indicative of his "nice" personality.

 

I have not been an angel either but I have been faithful nonetheless.

 

What I am confused about is I was going through my ipad and still had his icloud and all these photos of his trip opened up and there were pictures of him and this other girl who was single and he joked that "obviously the single guy and single girl" hooked up, he could have meant the other grooms men but the photos were suggestive and when I confronted him, he said he had thousand of photos with others (not really) and I knew he got my texts because we use iphones and he was maybe with everyone and her.

 

I am not sure what to do or say as he is back tomorrow evening.

 

My question is to you all...

I love him very much and I see a future with him, but I've never felt so wronged in my life before. Before he left for his trip, he said "if you weren't (this) and (that), I was going to give you a ring before I left." and then he f***ed off for two weeks and I see photos of this chick!!! I mean, these are photos and couple-ish things we used to do. (thank goodness there is no smooching ones). But I know for a fact he saved her number and can whatsapp her and everything but I'm a bit confused....what do I do?

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Dump him and be glad you side stepped the bullet.

It is more my style to have a man who really wants me and makes an engagement happen and who takes me with him.

 

Is this what you want? Think about what you want and if this is it?

 

Ya, side stepping the bullet isn't what Im worried about.

What I am worried about, is why would someone say such nice things and then do the complete opposite. I am not sure if this is a second chance kind of thing or he's waiting to deal with me when he comes home.

 

I need closure, like a verbal "We are over". If you can understand from my perspective.

 

I couldn't go on this trip because of school anyways and he's been complaining he's never been off the continent in his life.

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cozycottagelg

This guy does not deserve you.

 

You can give yourself the closure you need by saying to him - It's over.

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Ya, side stepping the bullet isn't what Im worried about.

What I am worried about, is why would someone say such nice things and then do the complete opposite. I am not sure if this is a second chance kind of thing or he's waiting to deal with me when he comes home.

 

I need closure, like a verbal "We are over". If you can understand from my perspective.

 

I couldn't go on this trip because of school anyways and he's been complaining he's never been off the continent in his life.

 

He can say whatever he likes but the way he treats you makes him a real Ahole.

 

Dump him before he gets back.

Poppy.

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Why? Because he did. You cannot control a person's values or judgements. Words and actions are two different things. He does what he wants to do.

 

Closure should come from within you - do you accept this or don't accept it because you cannot negotiate how he acts or what he does or who he is and his reason won't change what you saw and how you felt and might not be true. Think about his actions and how much you trust him and what you want.

 

 

 

 

Ya, side stepping the bullet isn't what Im worried about.

What I am worried about, is why would someone say such nice things and then do the complete opposite. I am not sure if this is a second chance kind of thing or he's waiting to deal with me when he comes home.

 

I need closure, like a verbal "We are over". If you can understand from my perspective.

 

I couldn't go on this trip because of school anyways and he's been complaining he's never been off the continent in his life.

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I like this Poppy! I would tend to want to dump him before he got back.

 

OP how do you FEEL after all of this - concentrate on the way he made you feel.

 

He can say whatever he likes but the way he treats you makes him a real Ahole.

 

Dump him before he gets back.

Poppy.

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Sorry, hon, but he wanted to be single for that trip. He did not want you there. A two week trip with all your best buds, you would want your significant other there with you. This guy is just biding his time with you; there never was a ring. He is just saying these things to you to put the blame on you and get you to feel like $hit about yourself so you will accept his version of things. He's also gaslighting you.

 

Dump him. Two years is long enough to waste on an azzhole.

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Darren Steez
Ya, side stepping the bullet isn't what Im worried about.

What I am worried about, is why would someone say such nice things and then do the complete opposite. I am not sure if this is a second chance kind of thing or he's waiting to deal with me when he comes home.

 

I need closure, like a verbal "We are over". If you can understand from my perspective.

 

I couldn't go on this trip because of school anyways and he's been complaining he's never been off the continent in his life.

 

Closure is a myth, because even if he said yes it's over you'd most likely ask why..what did I do, where did we go wrong etc.

 

But also these kind of talks never lead to anything conclusive, just a lot of confusion and pseudo-negotiation with both parties trying to regain whatever balance has been lost, most often ending up with one party compromising in effort to keep the relationship afloat but really just putting it on life support.

 

Fact is you know what you know. Do you need an explanation as to why a man would get with a single woman..do whatever, then get her contact details there after.

 

Closure should have been the moment you saw those pictures and what did.

Do you really need his signature to make it official? Yes a bit ridiculous but sort of the same thing.

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Sorry, hon, but he wanted to be single for that trip. He did not want you there. A two week trip with all your best buds, you would want your significant other there with you. This guy is just biding his time with you; there never was a ring. He is just saying these things to you to put the blame on you and get you to feel like $hit about yourself so you will accept his version of things. He's also gaslighting you.

 

Dump him. Two years is long enough to waste on an azzhole.

 

I feel like that is right, a lot of my friends (who are mutual friends with him) were shocked when I told them this.

 

We face timed and I asked what was happening with us and all he said was that he was scared of me and didn't know if he wanted to be with me.

 

AND HEAR ME OUT PEOPLE, once I told him I thought it was best we moved on...he started going on how we were just lovers but we needed to start being friends, excuse my language, but WTF.

 

I DON'T GET IT. I AM CONFUSED.

Is it because he's home soon? The trip is over?

The friends he met there are LONG DISTANCE, and that the girl he met there is in the states and we in Canada.

 

I'm so dumbfounded.

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Closure is a myth, because even if he said yes it's over you'd most likely ask why..what did I do, where did we go wrong etc.

 

But also these kind of talks never lead to anything conclusive, just a lot of confusion and pseudo-negotiation with both parties trying to regain whatever balance has been lost, most often ending up with one party compromising in effort to keep the relationship afloat but really just putting it on life support.

 

Fact is you know what you know. Do you need an explanation as to why a man would get with a single woman..do whatever, then get her contact details there after.

 

Closure should have been the moment you saw those pictures and what did.

Do you really need his signature to make it official? Yes a bit ridiculous but sort of the same thing.

 

I suppose the saying, love is blind is true. I do love him still.

Anyways, I understand where you are coming from, but let me pitch another piece.... what happens if he told me he didn't know if he wanted to get back and that HE was scared of me but I actually am wanting to somewhat work things out...

 

Why do men like to mind game women? Yesterday, I was trying to find my own type of "closure" by messaging him that I WAS okay just being friends and if he ever needed anything I was only a text away and then his whole attitude changed and he kinda seemed fearful of losing me all together by saying the below:

 

-We were lovers, we need to be friends first

-We need 100% honesty and 100% trust

-I want what Q and A have in their relationship

 

Now where do you go from there, he's tried convincing me that the girl was with his friend instead but those photos were suggestive otherwise and he tried defending it by saying he had worse photos with the same girl and his friend on his camera.

 

Now what do I think?

I even got crazy and messaged the girl but instantly blocked her (oops).

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