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Went from one night stand to baby mama to OW....


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To make a long story short...

Had a one night stand last year.

We used a condom but some how I magically got pregnant (thanks Trojan).

Told him, of course he denied it and tells me he was married. No further contact.

Waited till I was about 8 months and asked him if he wanted to do a DNA test from Walgreens.....he declined.

Filed for childsupport, wife calls me, we all go to court, I get my $$$, his family meets the baby.

 

He started to visit to see the baby and well.....one thing led to another......and some how we are uh....in constant sexual contact.

 

I don't know why im posting here....i just need to get it off my chest.

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He started to visit to see the baby and well.....one thing led to another......and some how we are uh....in constant sexual contact.

I hope you are least using protection, lest your first child suddenly has siblings.

 

You *do* realize that the wife is going to find out?

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I hope you are least using protection, lest your first child suddenly has siblings.

 

You *do* realize that the wife is going to find out?

 

We are not using protection.

My baby's older siblings (his kids) just love her. They have her every weekend (I can get a breather thank god).

 

I figure she already suspects it. He told me she confronted him about it and he lied. Not sure if I even care.

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Ummm... so, what is it that you are hoping for?

 

I'm not hoping for anything. Just living day by day. He spent the night over here last week telling me we might as well be together and he is trying to deal with his "situation". I told him that I am not putting myself on hold for him and that if I meet someone he will get cut off. Plus I don't believe in shacking.

 

But I doubt I will be meeting anyone anytime soon. I don't hang out or club or socialize. I work, am in school, and run my own biz so any free time Im resting with my baby.

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We are not using protection.

 

So you want another baby then?

 

This is the very reason BWs don't want anything to do with the OC and the OW. The affair just picks up again where it left off. If she'd have told him to have NC and pay CS only she'd be labelled a wicked heartless witch ..... she welcomes your child and this is her payback.

 

I think you and he are a perfect match and she should leave you both to it.

 

Apart from that ......... you seem happy doing what you're doing, so I'm not sure what the point of your post is.

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We are not using protection.

 

So you want another baby then?

 

This is the very reason BWs don't want anything to do with the OC and the OW. The affair just picks up again where it left off. If she'd have told him to have NC and pay CS only she'd be labelled a wicked heartless witch ..... she welcomes your child and this is her payback.

 

I think you and he are a perfect match and she should leave you both to it.

 

Apart from that ......... you seem happy doing what you're doing, so I'm not sure what the point of your post is.

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Why weren't you on birth control the first time you got pregnant and why aren't you on it now if you are having sex and not married?

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Cloudcuckoo

Getting pregnant, despite the plethora of readily available birth control, is an old fashioned method of 'getting' a man......

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He:

A cheater. He refused even getting tested for the possibility of the child being his. He only accepted it once his secrets were dragged out through the court. He is now not just going for occasional one night stands, but going at 60 mph with a second woman on the side while his wife's children play with the child of the woman he is cheating on his wife. And he is ok with it? I see. But then again, if he's going to have to pay for child support for your child, why not get free sex from you as well? Makes perfect sense, I suppose.

 

You:

One night stand with a married man. Not a very wise choice. You sound like you are very practical and waited no time to take care of legal matters right away and got him to pay for child custody. And now using him for regular sex while his wife's children are providing free baby sitting for your child at his wife's place. Convenient arrangement I suppose.

 

His wife:

How nice that after discovering her husband's cheating and an illegitimate child, she still stood by him. How nice that she welcomes her husband's unplanned and unwanted child through adultery to her own home and allows the child to play with her own children. And after all that her husband is now conducting a full blown regular adultery ritual. So, let's see, when the baby is at her house playing and giggling, his wife looks at the baby and at that same moment that baby's mother is cuddling and smooching with her husband? I see.

 

His wife's children:

One day when they are older they will know while they were playing with his father's bastard child born out of him cheating on their mother; I'm sure their hearts will be filled with love and affection for this baby.

 

And finally, YOUR child:

This baby.

Where do I begin?

 

Are you seriously, honestly that oblivious about what sort of a life story you are setting up for this innocent life? This baby is truly lucky that its father's LEGAL wife is allowing it to interact with her own LEGAL children. When things finally blow up on your face, don't you realize your baby will be the one getting tossed out and hated and abandoned by its father, the MM's wife and her children who are being ever so considerate to the child now.

 

And to add to all of this,

the regular sex you are having is without protection? WHY? What lesson did you not learn from the first time?

Are you hoping for using MM's children to babysit more of your future children?

 

Is there any introspection on your part?

Do you question your actions? Do you feel the need to examine your behavior and the consequences on yourself and others at all?

 

You made bad choices already; don't you think it's about time that you try to learn from them and not add more reckless bad choices on top?

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the first bad guy is the husband and then you,the wife is just too naive,,,so naive that i kinda get mad at her:rolleyes:

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Why weren't you on birth control the first time you got pregnant and why aren't you on it now if you are having sex and not married?

Several reasons: one being that I was not sexual active at all. I saw no need for it. Second...well...I'm not one of those tin-hat wearing weirdos who believe that all modern medicine is bad for you....but I kinda believe that birthconrol is poisonous/dangerous. We did discuss birthcontol last week and I am considering it but Im not sure. Im more afraid of the birthcontol than I am getting pregnant.

 

Also to clarify: my baby's older siblings are not his wife's children. They are his adult children from his first marriage. Him and his current wife do not have any children, she is infertile.

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I told him that I am not putting myself on hold for him and that if I meet someone he will get cut off. Plus I don't believe in shacking.

 

But I doubt I will be meeting anyone anytime soon.

You won't meet anyone in this situation.

 

And, if you were to, why do you think someone would be interested in being with a woman with such blatant disregard to her child, herself, and a fellow woman by continuing as nothing other than a mistress?

 

Plus I don't believe in shacking.

But having an affair is okay!?! :eek::eek::eek:

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But having an affair is okay!?! :eek::eek::eek:

 

Gotta draw the line somewhere.....

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Several reasons: one being that I was not sexual active at all. I saw no need for it. Second...well...I'm not one of those tin-hat wearing weirdos who believe that all modern medicine is bad for you....but I kinda believe that birthconrol is poisonous/dangerous. We did discuss birthcontol last week and I am considering it but Im not sure. Im more afraid of the birthcontol than I am getting pregnant.

 

Also to clarify: my baby's older siblings are not his wife's children. They are his adult children from his first marriage. Him and his current wife do not have any children, she is infertile.

 

There are hundreds of forms of birth control and I'm sure there is one that would work well for you. You could use a diaphram as BC without having to put any chemicals in your body. There's really no excuse to continue having children with a man who will not be in their life. Every child deserves to be born into a secure relationship. You are trying to trap this man. It is sad that you see having children as a way to get a man.

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You are trying to trap this man. It is sad that you see having children as a way to get a man.

I deny this accusation.

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There are hundreds of forms of birth control and I'm sure there is one that would work well for you.

 

The most ridiculous part about this is that I worked for Planned Parenthood for years,

:laugh:. So yes yall are right there is no excuse for this. Its just something that I never had to think about for years....maybe that's why Im not taking it serious. I will go get something this week.

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The most ridiculous part about this is that I worked for Planned Parenthood for years,

:laugh:. So yes yall are right there is no excuse for this. Its just something that I never had to think about for years....maybe that's why Im not taking it serious. I will go get something this week.

 

I accidentally fell pregnant with my daughter 6 years ago and I have to tell you - I became so paranoid about getting pregnant again, I always insist on condoms, even though I am on birth control as well.

 

Are you seriously not worried about having another child? You don't have a full-time partner, you are in school, you have a business and an infant. Does it not worry you how another child would affect your current child's life in these circumstances?

 

You're being a little too selfish in this scenario, I'm sorry that I can't use a better word. You know, you had a good thing come out out of the whole mess of getting pregnant by a married man. That's VERY rare. The father accepted her, his wife accepted her, the siblings did, you got child support and he got weekends so your child can get to know her father.

 

And then you mess it up with a new affair. You're seriously hurting your child's chances of having a semi-normal life and upbringing.

 

How long are you continuing this? Until you fnd another man? What's wrong in being single for a while, focusing on being a good mom and other responsibilities that are on your plate?

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I don't know how long it will continue. Now that I think about it I could be a little more proactive at not getting knocked up again.

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Dancewithme

You are taking advantage of the goodwill extended to you and your child by the wife. Do you not understand how rare it is for a child born of an affair to be so welcomed by the wife and family of the MM? Do you not understand how beneficial this setup could have been for your child? And you are jeopardizing your child by continuing the affair! I call that selfish.

 

Search the Internet for stories told by children born of affairs. It breaks your heart to read of the suffering, self doubt, feelings of loss, not feeling good enough... why do you want this for your child?

 

When the affair comes to light, and the dust settles from the s**t storm that will come, your child will be the collateral damage. Your child could suffer the possible loss of the relationship with his/her stepmom, and other extended family. And when your child is old enough to understand how he/ she came to be, and why some members of the family don't like you/ your child ( because there is always someone willing to fill your child in on all that), that could affect your relationship.

 

I have witnessed this. It's sad.

 

You are a mom now. That means the best interests of your child trump your selfish desires. A mom models good and decent behavior, to help their child grow into a good and decent human being.

 

What are your true intentions here? Are you trying to poach a husband?

 

This is the exact reason why BWs in this situation are adamant about limiting/ policing contact between MM and OW, and the OC. And the poor child suffers.

 

I think it's time for me to take another break from LS. I am losing my faith in humanity:(

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You are taking advantage of the goodwill extended to you and your child by the wife. Do you not understand how rare it is for a child born of an affair to be so welcomed by the wife and family of the MM? Do you not understand how beneficial this setup could have been for your child? And you are jeopardizing your child by continuing the affair! I call that selfish.

 

I dont think you saw my other post but my child has a relationship with her adult siblings and his family which is totally independent and separate from his wife. If you saw me & my child at his parents house for Sunday dinner you wouldn't even think he was married. I doubt the revelation of this affair being on going would cause any problems with them.

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ChickiePops

Can you explain exactly what it is you're looking for with your post? You don't ask any questions, you don't seem to want to change your situation in any way. You keep telling us that his wife is fine with everything. You don't appear to want him to get divorced.

 

So what prompted you to start this thread? What is it that you want to happen?

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I doubt the revelation of this affair being on going would cause any problems with them.

 

But she confronted him about it and he lied. So, I'm assuming it would. Which makes sense.

 

I do feel bad for her, because her infertility is really nobody else's business but theirs.

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You speak /write like someone devoid of compassion for the pain you are contributing to. So blaźe about a possible second pregnancy to a MM. How very sad.

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