YoungLondoner Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I have a friend who's been in a relationship for 3 years but they don't live together and only see each other once a week or so. The reality is the relationship is very unlikely to move further forward, ever. About two months ago my friend and I started seeing each other on the side (it just sort of happened). Anyway, we now both seem to be falling for each other and he's having an increasingly tough time emotionally working out what he wants (me or his boyfriend). He has spoken to me about it and about not wanting to hurt this other guy. How can I make him want me more and choose me? Should I text regularly or not at all and wait for him to come to me? Should I fight my corner or play it cool? It's so difficult! Please help me. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 First of all, you're not his friend. You should get that straight. A friend wouldn't go after someone's boyfriend. Second, if you have to fight that hard for him, he's not worth it. Also..he's cheating on his boyfriend so he's definitely not worth it. Find a single guy and tell your ex friend that his boyfriend is a scumbag. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 YL, Well, with "friends" like you, who needs enemies? And pleeeeeease give up with the rubbish about "it just happened". These things don't "just happen", they "happen" because people plan, devise and facilitate them. So how about taking some responsibility for your own behaviour in this? If this guy has such a hard time deciding between the two of you then he doesn't really want either of you - he just likes cake-eating and will continue to do so as long as you let him. Get some self-respect and decide if this really the type of guy you want? Really ? Link to post Share on other sites
lemondrop21 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 If you cut off this guy who has made you his OM (other man) - no hanging out, no texts, nothing - what we call "no contact" or NC - that is the fastest way to see if he actually wants to be with you, and it's the right thing to do. Give him space to figure it out. He's had his time enjoying both of you, it's time for him to choose now, and I'm sure he has a clear enough idea of what a relationship would be like with you, versus his current boyfriend. With no marriage or kids involved to complicate things, it's all straightforward enough. I realize you want to fight for this guy, but remember that he should be fighting for you... And that a guy who values himself enough to walk away when he's being played, instantly becomes that much more attractive. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gert Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Is the boyfriend (not your boyfriend, but the other one) actually married or with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Cloudcuckoo Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 For your own sanity, behave with a little decorum and stay away until he is a single man. Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Eh, why bother with all this drama? why put forth this much effort? Link to post Share on other sites
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