pepsimax Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Hi, I am writing for my friend. She has been dating this separated man for about a year. He has 2 kids and he came to our country for 4 years with his wife and kids for a job. In about 2 years he has to go back to the States. She feels that he makes no real effort to see her. About 2 weeks ago he did take her to an expensive hotel for the day and the following day he spent time with her. After that she went to visit her family overseas for a week. While she was there his mom came to visit him from the States for a month - she is staying at his wife's house. My friend came back from her vacation 2 days ago -Wednesday. She complains that he didn't even speak to her that day to ask if she got back ok. Yesterday, she wanted to see him so he said that they are going to a late movie and it will finish at around 22:00 and the following day he needs to wake up at 5am to go bike riding. After some time he added that if she wants she can come over to his place and snuggle for a a bit. She told him that she already made plans (she didn't but it pissed her off). She then wrote to him that maybe they can meet Friday (today) so he said that he just accepted a dinner invitation from colleagues. After another 2 messages I guess he forgot that he wrote colleagues coz he changed it to family dinner. So, tonight (Friday) I went out with her. At 22:00 he sent her a message that they just got home from the dinner party. She told him to come meet us -he lives about 30 minutes away from where we were. He told her that it's late already. She told him that it's only 22:00 and that it's only 30 minutes. He told her that he is old already. (Side note.. in every message that she hints she isn't happy and wants to see him he writes that he misses her.) She wrote back to him that he is not making any efforts to meet her and they haven't seen each other in 2 weeks. He wrote back something like this: 'Seriously? You know that my mom is here and i had my children for the weekend and i didn't coordinate my time as i should have and i ran myself ragged. You don't show any understanding to my situation.' (Another side note -she is divorced with a child and he knows that for the last few days until tomorrow night the child will be with his dad and also it's a holiday in our country so we aren't working until the beginning of the week). Is my friend asking too much from him? Should he have made an effort to see her? His mom is here for a month. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 He's still married.... what can she expect? Poppy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 His mother is staying at his 'wife's home'? How far apart is his home & his wife's? Is she sure that they're actually separated or does he have a family home & an apartment in the city more convenient for work? Many, MANY red flags here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Tell your friend she's wasting her time. This man is NOT separated and he's not going to divorce, he moved with his wife and kids to work, and in 2 years he's moving away again. He is just looking for some fun on the side, an affair and that's it. She should end it and find a guy who will want to spend lots of time with her, not some MM who really doesn't care either way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pepsimax Posted April 30, 2016 Author Share Posted April 30, 2016 She has been to his apartment..it is one bedroom. I agree she is wasting her time though. Link to post Share on other sites
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