Juno Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 ...after 7 months of NC. Received a text which stated "things are great" which was followed by "sorry mistake". I didn't reply and I am convinced it was no mistake. Does it matter to know if it was a mistake or not? Well yes. I want to know if I am reading too much into this or if this is the type of mind games some MM play when you go NC. Will knowing change NC status? Nope! What do you think, accident or not? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddieandtae Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Wouldn't it be piece of mind to block him completely so that you don't have to wonder about fishing attempts? Good for you for not responding, now block that worm so that there is no more fishing expeditions! 9 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 No accident and he was even evil enough to have a two fold mind f%#! here if you think of it. If you didnt respond, his pride isnt damaged cause he said his life was great. If you did want to he opened the door by acting dumb. When you get a text...you hit reply RIGHT to that person...you cant accidently reply to someone in text...the reply is auto generated. Hes so transparent. Why isnt he blocked if you are serious about staying NC and your healing? Analyzing this will set you back and he shouldnt even have the opportunity to reach you. Dond respond one syllable, silence speaks LOUDLY. Keep going and give this manipulative man no more of your time. He just thought you were stupid..insulting you with that bait. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 You should have replied something innocuous like "Okay" just to find out if it was a mistake or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Please don't respond. He's just fishing. Trust me, once he gets a response he'll initiate a full blown conversation. And, oh yeah, delete and block his number. Visiting that ordeal is like rereading a book, you know how it's going to end. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 Thanks for the replies and reassuring me that I wasn't reading too much into his text. Regarding blocking him, I've done that once before and it back fired on me. I nearly drove myself insane wondering if he was trying to contact me. I became angry at myself for having to go that extra step instead of just having enough self control to ignore him and adhere to NC. Not blocking him strengthens my resolve to resist him no matter the temptation. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 You should have replied something innocuous like "Okay" just to find out if it was a mistake or not. This is absolutely terrible advice..this would be an excellent way to get sucked back into the affair. OP, please do not do this. Just block him so you never have to wonder again. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 No mistake. He's fishing. Bet he does it again within a week. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Thanks for the replies and reassuring me that I wasn't reading too much into his text. Regarding blocking him, I've done that once before and it back fired on me. I nearly drove myself insane wondering if he was trying to contact me. I became angry at myself for having to go that extra step instead of just having enough self control to ignore him and adhere to NC. Not blocking him strengthens my resolve to resist him no matter the temptation. 7 months of NC, you can block him now. You need to rid of ego wondering if he is contacting you or not. There's no real good reason or excuse to NOT to block him. NC means even reading texts and emails even if you don't respond. Fact is now he's on your mind where as I'm betting before he texted you 'by accident' (fishing!) he probably wasn't much on your mind like he is now. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Just block him and be done. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Forceawakensme Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 LOL bless his transparent heart.. that was so obvious. What are the chances that his choice of words in the 'mistake' text were also there to help him save face that things were indeed 'great'. Now, if he'd sent something like 'ugh my stomach hurts, i must be constipated' (or something slightly less rosey) or . i'd maybe buy it was an accident. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
lychee Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 After 7 months ..and you being the ex OW .. its no coincidence. After that long time period he would have already deleted your number. Resist, I know it's hard. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 (edited) I doubt that it was a mistake. You did great just to ignore him though. And I'm with you about not blocking him. I would be too curious about whether attempts contact or not. Edited March 15, 2016 by bathtub-row 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 That's tough Juno, like a slap in the face. Very likely a fishing attempt. A very low tactic with the full knowledge that it could and probably would significantly play with your mental state. Stay strong and put it behind you. You are doing brilliantly. Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Real people who actually care don't play games! Stay strong! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 LOL bless his transparent heart.. that was so obvious. What are the chances that his choice of words in the 'mistake' text were also there to help him save face that things were indeed 'great'. Now, if he'd sent something like 'ugh my stomach hurts, i must be constipated' (or something slightly less rosey) or . i'd maybe buy it was an accident. Ha. It was almost too transparent to be believable. That is why I questioned if it could have been a legitimate mistake 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 That's tough Juno, like a slap in the face. Very likely a fishing attempt. A very low tactic with the full knowledge that it could and probably would significantly play with your mental state. Stay strong and put it behind you. You are doing brilliantly. He very well probably thought he was playing with my mental state, but the fact that he did not get a response from me leaves him to wonder if I have indeed have block him. So now he is left to ponder if I received his text or not. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 You're playing with fire by not blocking him. Next it'll be, ok well he keeps trying, I might as well see what he wants, and then, I might as well just talk to him, and then, well one meeting can't be that bad can it? And before you know it, you're back in. I'm not an OW but I've had ex boyfriends do this before, and I learned my lesson the hard way. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 You're playing with fire by not blocking him. Next it'll be, ok well he keeps trying, I might as well see what he wants, and then, I might as well just talk to him, and then, well one meeting can't be that bad can it? And before you know it, you're back in. I'm not an OW but I've had ex boyfriends do this before, and I learned my lesson the hard way. I've been there too...to the pits of hell with this man. The depression I experienced was so deep and dark. Having this as a constant reminder keeps me from falling for his mind games again. Every time I resist his advances I become stronger...and it feels good. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Please don't respond. He's just fishing. Trust me, once he gets a response he'll initiate a full blown conversation. And, oh yeah, delete and block his number. Visiting that ordeal is like rereading a book, you know how it's going to end. Like re-reading a book. Lol. That is classic! And SO true. Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Calculated. Not a mistake. He is a predator. I'm guessing his post breakup hunting expeditions haven't gone too well so now he's trying fishing instead. Don't even think of replying. Unless you really want to get back on the same old amusement park ride where you know you'll end up sick. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I've been there too...to the pits of hell with this man. The depression I experienced was so deep and dark. Having this as a constant reminder keeps me from falling for his mind games again. Every time I resist his advances I become stronger...and it feels good. I believe you..just be careful. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 Calculated. Not a mistake. He is a predator. I'm guessing his post breakup hunting expeditions haven't gone too well so now he's trying fishing instead. Don't even think of replying. Unless you really want to get back on the same old amusement park ride where you know you'll end up sick. I imagine you are correct regarding the post breakup hunting expeditions not going well. He had the nerve to tell me that he would find someone else to love when we split. This would be OK if he wasn't already married. How about resolving your marriage before you embark on another affair. What an a-hole. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lemondrop21 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I imagine you are correct regarding the post breakup hunting expeditions not going well. He had the nerve to tell me that he would find someone else to love when we split. This would be OK if he wasn't already married. How about resolving your marriage before you embark on another affair. What an a-hole. Wow, that was ballsy of him to actually SAY to you. Please use this as motivation to keep NC. You're apparently his backup plan when he couldn't find a different backup plan. Yikes. Hugs to you, we're cheering you on! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
yodelwithyu Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I think this was on purpose. But here is the thing, him not contacting you for seven months should have killed a little of your curiosity anyway. And when he does reach out, after that long, it is a middle school girl attention seeking trick. So now you know he did contact you, and he had nothing to say.Even if he had sent it in error, all he said was "sorry mistake." Really? EW. You got your curiosity fed, so block his a** and treat him like he has treated you for the last seven months; like he doesn't exist. In the future, if he REALLY wants to get in touch, he will find a way. He has your number. Can he really not use a hotel phone or pay phone or a friend's phone? He can if he really wants. Let him if he cares enough. I can bet he does not. Take your power back and stick it to him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts