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MM is in mediation. Not that it matters.


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Funny how posts with similar themes cluster on here sometimes. I know there's a few recently about mm leaving... but going back. I'm sure that's what would be the situation if I were to re-engage. I'm never going to post "he went back" because he's not getting that chance. He reached out in a new account to say he was in mediation for divorce. I was in mediation myself for about a year so I know very well its nowhere near divorce or even separation. Im sad he's going through a painful time, I'm sad he thought it was ok to contact me. He was supportive during my divorce but of course he didn't plan on ending his marriage at the time so wasn't emotionally invested in the outcome hoping for a relationship with me. He was sad it meant the end of the affair. So a little guilt that I'm not able to support him the same way even though its unwarranted since its a different context. I guess he wasn't ok with status quo after all since he initiated his own IC, then MC, and the mediation. A marriage should end on its own merits/faults, not for someone else. Then grieved. I guess his wife admitted her own multiple affairs starting several years ago, to include loving current om whom she's still seeing and he came clean about his affair with me but no identities were shared. No reconciling (yet.. who knows). Even though he started the process he feels he can't be the one to leave. Still very hung up on the nuclear family at all costs and I think hurt at her cheating first and not loving him (he told me during our affair he still loved her. I'm sure part of him still does).

 

Anyway, I didn't get drawn in. I'm not going anywhere near that mess and am continuing to live my life. I've been happier and happier as times gone on.

 

Just sharing with the group and venting some conflicted emotions which for the most part have already passed. Thanks everyone for the support through this journey towards healing and health.

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