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When your MM saw you alone


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He would tell her he was at work or at the gym.

If we met for lunch it'll be just "lunch near office with colleagues". She would call sometimes and he had to excuse himself so that he can lie to her in a more private place. I hate that feeling.

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gettingstronger

Our OW would fly out (at her expense) to meet him on business or drive to go see him on business- I am not real nosey so I never really asked- who are you having dinner tonight with, what are you doing tonight-etc....

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Gloria_Smellons
Where did he tell his wife he was?

 

He worked aboard on a supposedly 'fixed' schedule, but he would usually manage to get a flight home a few days earlier then planned. He'd spend those extra days with me, then go to the airport on his 'scheduled' arrival day to get picked up.

 

It actually makes me sick now I read that back - what a 5hitty human being I was being.

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It varied greatly from nothing, to work, to the gym, to nothing again. They were pretty separated with each other so outside of needing to be at a kid function or caring for the kids they didn't keep track of each other.

 

For myself, I would say work or just out.

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Our situation was unusual in some ways. First, his SO worked out of town so they did not live together on a day to day basis which allowed him a lot of room to do whatever he wanted without even having to lie because she simply wasn't around to ask him certain things or be suspicious.

 

He and I were also long distance so us seeing each other was always something we had to plan in advance and it wasn't a case of we work together or see each other around casually. I think long distance affairs are easier to conduct in a lot of ways because it can be separate from your day to day life while someone in your circle or whom you see everyday requires more conscious effort to be stealthy and, as we see, sometimes you can't keep that up without slipping up. There's just more ways to be caught. With us, he had business trips abroad where I lived, his father also lives in the States and so he would come see me then and she had no reason to doubt it. He would really go see his dad or be doing business but just omitted that it wouldn't be for the entire 2 weeks but part of the time would be with me :rolleyes:. I would also visit him and I'm originally from the country he lives in so I had other legitimate reasons to be there and since he didn't live with his SO it was fairly easy for him to come see me without raising any suspicion.

 

I think that's one of the main things in affairs, affairs that don't require straying too far from your usual routine help it to fly under the radar much easier than affairs where you all of a sudden have to act different, have a different schedule, travel more or start doing things you don't normally do. Because they didn't live together most of the month and because him seeing me fit in with other things he would do anyway, I think that helped him not to be found out.

Edited by MissBee
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wanderingxsoulz

Come to think of it, we have almost never talked about her. He doesn't mention her and I don't ask since I assume he doesn't want to think about it. Neither of us do.

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Bendy_willow

Something that gave me a bad taste in my mouth was that he asked if I wanted to go to his house one time when his wife was out of town. Even though at that time I was involved and selfish, my conscience thought that that was really disrespectful to be inviting the OW into a shared space.

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It is very simple, besides the normal time we see each other, if it is weekend or holiday, MM has to MAKE TIME by using different excuse coming out to see me.

 

 

Sometimes you have to make effort to make things happen.

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ladydesigner
Where did he tell his wife he was?

 

My WH was ALWAYS working. Boy I thought he was one stressed out man :lmao:

 

Often MOW would meet my WH during the workday and WH had a burner phone so I couldn't detect and did not detect their A.

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Grapesofwrath

He was in the city during the week for work, so sometimes he didn't have to say anything. He would say he was at home, and he was, with me there as well. Or he would say he was at home, but was really at my place. If we were out, he would say he was out.

 

This is part of the poison. watching the facility with which they lie makes you slowly realize that you are getting lied to also. Then you're in the hall of mirrors. what's a lie? what's the truth? How will you ever know?

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My husband would just say he was out. Or he had to go. I didn't get the benefit of the lie. After he left he didn't feel like he had to say that he was with her but he had no problem saying he had plans, couldn't see me, was unavailable, or had to go. We both know what that meant. It meant he was off with her.

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We get off work much earlier than our spouses, so we can see each other after work during the week for a walk or a bite to eat. If we want to spend the evening together, he would say he went to happy hour with his friends from work. Often though, especially at the beginning, she would head to a casino on Friday night, and he would say he'd rather stay home. She would often spend the night at the casino. I always thought that was weird that she would go to the casino alone. He never thought anything of it. Hmmmm? Any way, it was always to my advantage if she did that, so I didn't care what here reason was. I would always tell my husband I was out with girlfriends.

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Where did he tell his wife he was?

 

He didn't.

 

She would leave notes on the fridge instructing him (if the kids needed fetching, etc) if she needed to communicate anything to him. If he needed to let her know he'd be away for six weeks, e.g., he'd do the same.

 

But beyond that, they just did their own thing.

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My husband would just say he was out. Or he had to go. I didn't get the benefit of the lie. After he left he didn't feel like he had to say that he was with her but he had no problem saying he had plans, couldn't see me, was unavailable, or had to go. We both know what that meant. It meant he was off with her.

 

ex- husband.

 

He's her husband now.

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